Chapter 96: The Guild War of the Jerk Brigade

Daiki Hanata, the professional gamer known as Deception, cracks his knuckles.

He is not in his usual high-tech gaming lair. He is on a velvet couch in a luxury hotel suite, surrounded by racks of silk dresses and the smell of expensive perfume.

This is, objectively, the weirdest place he has ever declared a war from.

"This is the stupidest guild name in the history of MMOs," Daiki grumbles, staring at the screen.

"What is wrong with The Jerk Brigade?" Toujo asks, peering over his shoulder, his mouth full of Mariko's room-service macarons. "We are all jerks. And we are a brigade. It is accurate!"

"Just... stay off the comms, Toujo. This is a delicate operation."

"You got it, boss!"

Daiki goes live.

Instantly, five million people are watching his stream. The chat is a waterfall of text.

"DECEPTION IS BACK!"

"HE KISSED THE PRINCE-GIRL! ... wait, no, that was the other one."

"KING! KING! KING!"

"Alright, chat," Daiki says, his voice cool and professional. "You are all wondering what is next. What is next... is a hostile takeover."

He logs into Cyber-Blade Online. He is on his infamous Level 99 Assassin.

"For too long," Daiki announces, his voice dropping into a dramatic, heroic tone, "one guild has sat on the throne of this server. They are lazy. They are old. They are complacent. I am talking about The Ancient Dragons."

The chat explodes. The Ancient Dragons are the oldest, most powerful, and most respected guild on the Japanese server. Attacking them is like declaring war on the game itself.

"As of right now," Daiki smirks, "my new guild, The Jerk Brigade, is officially declaring war on The Ancient Dragons for control of the Northern Castle."

He clicks the button.

A massive, server-wide announcement flashes across the sky in the game.

[THE JERK BRIGADE] has declared WAR on [THE ANCIENT DRAGONS]!

"What are you doing, Daiki?" Rika whispers, watching from the armchair, horrified. "You are just one person!"

"Two!" Toujo corrects, logging on with his Level 12 Archer, "LordOfSnacks."

"He is not just one person," Mariko says, not looking up from her financial report. "He is Deception. He is a one-man army. And more importantly, he is a one-man media circus."

Daiki grins. "She gets it."

He starts the invasion.

It is not a siege. It is a humiliation.

He does not attack their castle. He attacks their pride.

He camps their starting zone, killing their low-level recruits.

He ambushes their supply lines, stealing their crafting materials.

He streams the whole thing, providing cutting-edge commentary on how "slow" and "predictable" The Ancient Dragons are.

"Ope, there is another one," Daiki narrates calmly as he perfectly parries an attack and one-shots a high-level knight. "That is Sadaharu, one of their top tanks. Nice armor, buddy. Did your grandma knit it for you?"

The gaming world is in chaos. The forums are on fire.

"DECEPTION IS A VILLAIN!"

"This is the most disrespectful display I have ever seen!"

"THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!"

Daiki is a menace. He is a digital "Bloody Twilight."

"He is good," I mutter. I am on the other side of the room, still wearing the hated peach dress, trying to walk with a book on my head.

"Focus, Isuzu-san," Mariko snaps, not looking up. "Heel, toe, glide. You are walking like a penguin again."

"A penguin with a katana," Hiroto mutters, sketching furiously in his design book. "I like that. That is the logo."

"He is making them so mad," Daiki cackles, dodging three fireballs. "They are sending their best. But they are still not sending... him."

"Him?" Rika asks.

"Kage-sama," Daiki says, his eyes gleaming. "The Guild Master. The final boss. The one guy who never, ever logs on."

He looks right into his stream camera.

"Hey, Kage-sama! Are you going to hide behind your guildies forever, or are you going to log on and face me, you coward?"

In the Imperial Palace, in a private study, an elderly man in a simple robe sips his green tea.

He watches the stream on his tablet.

A slow smile spreads across his face.

"A coward, am I?" the Emperor of Japan chuckles. "We shall see about that, boy."