Chapter 26: The Heat Wave Delirium

It is thirty-five degrees Celsius. The air conditioner has chosen this exact moment to die a tragic, sputtering death. The house is essentially a giant steamer basket, and we are the dumplings.

I am lying on the living room floor, wearing only gym shorts, trying to merge with the slightly cooler hardwood.

"Oppa... I'm melting..." Inoue groans. She is sprawled out next to me, wearing a tank top and shorts that are dangerously short. "If I melt, who will be the center of Crimson Rush?"

"Just don't move," I mumble. "Moving creates heat."

"I have a solution!" Ayumi announces, bursting into the room. She is wearing a bikini. Just a bikini. In the living room.

"Ayumi! Put some clothes on!"

"It's too hot for clothes, Onii-chan! Besides, we're family!" She happily flops down right on top of me. Her skin is clammy with sweat, which is gross, but she is also surprisingly cool.

"Get off! You're heavy!"

"I am your personal cooling pack!" She wiggles, effectively rubbing her entire body against mine. "See? Isn't that better?"

"Inefficient," Azuwa states, walking in. She is also wearing startlingly little—a sports bra and tiny yoga shorts. She adjusts her glasses, which are foggy from the humidity. "Direct skin-to-skin contact increases overall body temperature due to friction. The optimal cooling method is evaporative."

She kneels beside me, holding a spray bottle.

"Don't you dare," I warn.

SPRITZ.

She sprays freezing cold water directly onto my chest. I gasp.

"Now, to accelerate evaporation..." Azuwa leans down, her face inches from mine, and starts blowing on my wet chest. Her red hair tickles my nose. The sensation of her cool breath on my skin is... distracting.

"Wait, that's unfair!" Inoue yells, suddenly energized. "I want to help Oppa evaporate too!"

She grabs an ice cube from a bowl she brought in. "I saw this in a drama once! Ice therapy!"

Before I can stop her, she slides the ice cube down the waistband of my shorts.

"KYAAAAAA!" I scream, arching my back off the floor. "INOUE! THAT IS NOT THERAPY!"

"It's cooling, right?!" she giggles, now straddling my legs to keep me from escaping while she tries to retrieve the melting ice cube. Her hands are dangerously close to areas that should not be touched by cousins.

"Get away from him, you perverts!" Hina storms in. She is wearing an incredibly expensive-looking silk slip that leaves very little to the imagination. "You're completely ruining his aesthetic with all this flailing. Takeshi needs refined cooling."

She produces a silk handheld fan and sits near my head. "Here, darling. Let me fan you."

As she leans over to fan me, the loose neckline of her silk slip hangs dangerously low. I have a direct, unobstructed view down her top. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Hina! Your dress! I can see everything!"

"Oh? Like what you see?" she teases, purposely leaning lower so her chest practically brushes my nose. "It's designer."

"Izuwa! Help me!" I cry out to the last sane person in the house.

Izuwa walks in, looking flushed and dizzy from the heat. She sees Ayumi on top of me, Inoue fishing for ice in my shorts, Azuwa blowing on my chest, and Hina flashing me.

She blinks slowly. The heat must have broken her brain, because instead of helping, she just softly says, "Room for one more?" and curls up against my side, wrapping an arm around my waist and burying her face in my neck.

I am now a human jungle gym for five sweaty, half-naked girls. I have an ice cube melting near highly sensitive areas, and I think I might actually die from overheating.