Chapter 27: The King's Game Catastrophe

"We're bored," Inoue declares on Saturday night. "Let's play a game! The King's Game!"

I instantly freeze. The King's Game. A Japanese party staple where drawn sticks determine a 'King' who can give orders to anyone else. It always, always ends badly.

"Absolutely not," I say.

"Too late! I already made the sticks!" Ayumi cheers, shaking a cup full of chopsticks with numbers written on them. "Come on, Onii-chan, don't be a chicken!"

Against my better judgment, I am roped into the circle.

Round one. Hina is King.

"Number 3 must let Number 1 style their hair however they want," Hina commands.

I am Number 3. Ayumi is Number 1. Ten minutes later, I have six tiny pigtails held in place with sparkly butterfly clips.

"So cute!" Ayumi squeals, snapping photos.

Round two. Azuwa is King.

"Number 2 must perform a thorough physical examination of Number 4 to check for... irregularities," Azuwa says, her face bright red but determined.

I look at my stick. Number 4. I look at Inoue. Number 2.

"Doctor Inoue is in!" she chirps, rubbing her hands together wickedly. "Shirt off, patient!"

"I don't need an exam!"

"King's orders!" Azuwa says, pushing up her glasses. "We need to ensure you are in peak physical condition."

Inoue practically rips my shirt off. "Hmm, heartbeat is fast," she murmurs, pressing her ear directly to my bare chest. Her hands start wandering. "Need to check muscle density!" She squeezes my biceps, then my pecs, then starts tickling my sides.

"That's not a medical exam! That's just groping!" I yell, trying to fend her off.

Round three. Ayumi is King. I know she rigged it. I saw her peek at the sticks.

"King orders Number 5 to kiss Number... let's see... ME! On the lips!" Ayumi closes her eyes and puckers up, waiting for me to reveal that I am Number 5.

"I'm Number 5," Izuwa says quietly.

Ayumi's eyes snap open. "WHAT?! Re-draw! The sticks were faulty!"

"A King's order is absolute," Izuwa says, a strange, mischievous glint in her usually shy eyes. She leans over and gives Ayumi a quick, soft peck on the lips.

Ayumi turns stone white, then bright red, and falls over backward in a dead faint.

Round four. I am finally King. I can end this.

"Okay, King orders everyone to go to sleep immediately," I announce triumphantly.

"Booo! Boring!" Inoue yells.

"Wait, look closely at his stick," Hina says, grabbing my hand. "That's a 9, not a 6. You're holding it upside down. I am King."

I stare at the stick. She's right. I am doomed.

Hina smiles a terrifying, predatory smile. "King orders everyone to 'dogpile' Number 9. For ten minutes. No escaping."

I am Number 9.

"Get him!" Inoue shrieks.

Before I can run, I am tackled. Five bodies hit me at once. I hit the carpet with a thud, buried under a mountain of soft limbs, sweet-smelling hair, and giggling girls.

Hands are everywhere. Someone is pinching my side. Someone else—I think it's Azuwa—is "accidentally" pressing her chest directly into my face while trying to find a comfortable spot.

"Too close! Too close!" I mumble into Azuwa's cleavage.

"It's the King's orders, Takeshi-nii," she stammers, not moving an inch. "We must comply."

"His ear is so soft," I hear Ayumi whisper, nibbling gently on my earlobe.

I endure ten minutes of "accidental" groping, ear nibbling, and being used as a human body pillow. When they finally let me up, I am dizzy, covered in lipstick marks (courtesy of Hina), and missing one sock.