Forced Words

"During the latter half of the Second Machine War worldwide public opinion had begun to shift. The war that had started out as a righteous cause to eliminate a threat to the peace of humankind turned to a horrible genocide so one-sided that the media displayed the war as a massacre. The public could not continue to watch the machines being destroyed and regretted their decisions.”

Herbert Stein, Machine Historian

'What am I doing here?' It was the early afternoon at the street corner of their favorite restaurant for lunch. By 'their' meaning that Satoru and Kiyoshi were having lunch. The quiet hum of traffic and people passed by beyond the cast iron fence that enclosed the open dining kept a serene calming field through the atmosphere. Kiyoshi was sitting down, having been waiting on a hesitant Satoru for not quite an hour. 'I should be…no I can't.' Even though he had made a decision to finally leave his apartment again after that fateful incident with Asami he was still uncertain about staying. 'She's a machine, but…it shouldn't matter.'

"I'm glad that you finally answered my calls, Satoru," Kiyoshi said, trying to gain Satoru's distracted attention. He hadn’t minded waiting for him. It had been a long enough time before he would agree to this to begin with that a few more minutes flew by quickly. However, the distant look that was so clearly painted on Satoru's face concerned him. There was something more than just what the company was doing that was bothering him now.

Satoru jerked his head up from staring at the ground. "Huh? Oh, yeah, well I've had a lot on my mind these last few weeks." It was truer in more ways than one. For him seeing Kiyoshi sitting there seemed to be enough to give him a little grounding. Yet Satoru remained standing at the table unable to do more than hold the top of the chair with his two hands. His grip on the chair back nearly made his hands white as though it was the only thing keeping from falling.

"I know, that's why I wanted to talk to you. You've been away from work. I've recorded it as a personal vacation, but it's been three weeks already. The company is already becoming suspicious. I can't keep them-"

"I didn't ask you to protect me!" Satoru pressed against the back of the chair forcing it into the table rattling the metal and glass placed across its top. It was enough to startle Kiyoshi as well as those nearby. The scene that was beginning to develop at the table made Satoru self conscious of his actions pulling himself back to the chair.

The outburst from Satoru was enough to make Kiyoshi reconsider his approach. He knew that Satoru would be on edge, but the reaction only confirmed for him a deep seeded issue that was beyond simply the direction that Qintech was taking now. "I'm sorry. I'm only doing this because I know how much you care about the work you've done. I know this is difficult for you. You feel betrayed, but you have to understand-"

"No!" Satoru said, nearly shouting through his teeth as they tried to keep his volume in check. "You don't understand. You don't know what it is like being betrayed." The chair wasn’t enough anymore for him as he released one of his hands and roughly placed it on the table. "No. I've been betrayed more than I want. I'm not going to set myself up for that anymore. I shouldn't even be here." He should have listened to himself when he was saying this was a mistake. If this continued anymore he would end up regretting it even more. Satoru turned away, walking from the table.

"Satoru! Wait, where are you going?" Kiyoshi jumped up from his chair rushing after Satoru. He reached out in time to take his arm before they were out of the restaurant. Kiyoshi had to work slower with him seeing how easily agitated he was at the moment. 'This can't be a coincidence. What's the real reason he is here?'

Satoru pulled at his arm, but Kiyoshi's grip was too tight for him to break. "Where does it look? I'm leaving and going home."

"You can't leave, we haven't even ordered lunch yet."

"I'm not hungry and I'm not interested in talking." His captive arm finally came free allowing him to resume his exit. However, Kiyoshi shouted out to him, bringing him to an uncertain stop. There didn’t seem to be a reason behind it, but he couldn’t move either.

"Satoru! Listen to yourself! You came out here. You set up the meeting and the place for lunch. All I did was leave fifty messages with you. I didn't force you out here. This was you. I'm here because I'm your best friend and you wanted to talk." Kiyoshi finally took a breath looking for a response from Satoru. All he saw still was his back. 'So much for going slow.'

"Kiyoshi…"

"I won't try to make you come back to work." Kiyoshi knew that he couldn’t take back what he said, but it was enough to make him pause. He pulled himself back in trying not to be so forceful. "Will you stay?"

The silence remained between them as those that were distracted by their troubles resumed eating. A car horn honked loudly and a woman shouted at a man that almost knocked her down. The world wasn’t stopping. Satoru found a piece of the resolve that he had had when he first had called Kiyoshi a few hours ago. "Fine…"

Kiyoshi walked ahead of Satoru not wanting to look as though he was escorted back to his seat afraid he would offend him again. Once they finally sat down for the lunch that was planned, Kiyoshi looked up at Satoru. If he had been wrong about the reasons for Satoru's call he needed to work to find out what the truth was. "If it was not work that you wanted to talk about then what else is troubling you?"

'I can't talk about this. I shouldn't have come. This is my problem to deal with. I shouldn't be involving him.' Satoru's hand was clenching the side of the chair as he casually looked at Kiyoshi. The wish to leave wasn’t dissipating even being in one place. He didn’t like being like this, it was normally so much easier to push problems aside for him. The feelings that he was having weighed him down until he felt as though he was crawling through mud just to reach the door. "Can we order lunch first?"

"Sure." If it meant that Satoru wouldn’t be leaving, he was willing to let things be drawn out. He would eventually understand what was going on. Kiyoshi raised his hand a little to the waitress passing by.

"May I help you?" the waitress said pulling out an electronic pad assuming that they were going to be ordering something finally.

Kiyoshi looked up at the waitress having spent the time waiting for Satoru figuring out what he was going to get to eat. "Yes, we're ready to order. I'll have the cook's special. Satoru?"

The waitress turned to Satoru expecting a quick answer only to find silence. It took Kiyoshi knocking on the table to alert him from the distraction that fogged his mind. "Hmm? Oh, right." Satoru fumbled for the menu that was placed in front of him. His eyes scanned down the food looking briefly at it picking the first thing his eyes stopped on. "Right…uh…this. I'll take this. Fourth down." He barely made contact with the waitress as she pulled up the menu.

"You can get something more than a bowl of ramen, you know?" Kiyoshi said, hoping to lighten the mood a little. Unfortunately, the grip of tension on Satoru was too great for Kiyoshi to snap so simply.

Missing the joke, Satoru seriously answered the question. "It's different enough from the rice and instant I've been eating." He let his hands push against each other under the table trying to sort through his thoughts. The wrestling feelings were making it difficult for him to focus even when hunger was absent. His meal that he ordered seemed more obligatory than desired.

Kiyoshi looked at the table quickly, noticing the need for more drinks. "Alright and more tea please." It had been a long time since he had seen Satoru this troubled; it wasn’t going to be an easy talk. 'This could take some time…'

"Right away," the waitress said as she neatly placed the menus under her arm while finishing entering the order in the pad. She walked away shortly after leaving the two alone again to resume their silent staring.