The Folding of the Chair Hero

Erina, Elfana and Chibafu remain in place, blankly staring at the rock that the Supreme Dance Crew were hiding behind, trying to process what exactly just happened.

“I…uhhh” Chibafu tries to speak up, nothing really leaving his mouth.

C’mon, do something. This chapter kinda needs events to occur, you know….

Alright, I guess that’s that.

Chibafu begins sliding back to where Bladed is, Erina and Elfana following suit. As they arrive at each member of Bladed, all looking worse for the wear, Edward and Phoenix unconscious on the ground. Marvin Falcon is barely alive but still refusing to sit, while Wendell is located directly in Arten’s food art, Arten nowhere nearby. Blizzle’s legs are sticking out from the ground, his head still buried, a seemingly endless stream of bullets falling from his pockets.

“Be on the lookout, even if Bladed is down for the count Serpent sting is still a-”

Chibafu cuts himself off, noticing all the serpent sting members huddling up.

“Ready…BREAK!” the members of serpent sting say in unison, clapping and lining up like a football team.

“What’re they doing?” Elfana asks Chibafu, this game being foreign to her, and Erina listens intently (as she doesn’t know either).

Chibafu lines up against the O-line of Serpent sting, Erina playing Linebacker and Elfana playing safety, but as Serpent sting go to snap the ball, a purple-hazy aura appears at their feet.

“Return to me, once more” an ominous voice echoes, heard by all.

The aura opens and all of the members of serpent sting fall through. Well, not all of them. One single henchman is left standing in anticipation for his to open, which it never does.

Chibafu, Elfana and Erina just kinda stare at this guy, unsure of what to do.

The henchman realizes his aura isn’t opening, and jumps into one of the other member’s….or at least tries. As he jumps head first the portal closes just before his entire body can enter.

The man’s foot is cut off by the portal closing, no blood being visible however.

I think he forgot something.

A smaller portal opens, the man’s hand reaching through and grabbing the foot and receding back.

“So they’re dealt with themselves…does that mean the quest is over?” Chibafu confusedly asks anyone with ears to listen.

“I suppose so…wait what was the original quest’s goal anyway?” Erina asks, Elfana and Chibafu trying to remember.

“I think it was to delete something? Or maybe draw? I can’t remember the word, but it started with a D” Elfana reassures,little to no reassurance felt.

THUD

“It might’ve been dig…OH! I remember now!” Elfana exclaims, a large shadow looming over her now, with Erina and Chibafu looking on in horror.

“Dig a Hole!” Elfana happily shouts, missing the mark by a severe margin.

Yikes. So close, but somehow nowhere near.

The dragon swipes at the trio, Chibafu folding to avoid the attack while Elfana and Erina dodge left and right.

The dragon fixes its gaze toward Erina, smoke seeping out of its mouth.

“Come at me you angry lizard!” Erina shouts, stopping the dragon mid action.

The dragon freezes in place, thinking about what Erina just called him. Chibafu can hear his thoughts as when he was dodging, a very small (nonexistant) piece touched the dragon.

Did…did that young human call me a lizard?

“Is that seriously what he’s thinking about? Being called a lizard?” Chibafu asks himself, in a questioning tone.

Nobody’s moving. The dragon is trying to find the link between himself and a lizard, while Erina and Elfana are preparing themselves for an attack.

“Woman. I must ask you a question” The dragon proclaims, his deep and fiery tone echoing through the open area.

“Me?” Erina points to herself, confused who the dragon is talking to

“Yes…what? Who else would I be talking to?” the dragon confusedly asked. Erina points over to Elfana, and the dragon bows his head in disappointment.

“Why would you call me a lizard? What possible traits would you say make me lizard-like?” the dragon curiously asks, Erina scratching her head to think of a reason.

Maybe, if we play our cards right here, we could appeal to his pride as a dra-

“Probably the smell. You smell like a lizard” Erina happily answers, Chibafu and the Dragon dumbfounded at the answer.

The dragon thinks back on his days, looking to the past like this was some sort of prophetic answer. Then it hit him

While I was hunting as a young dragon, the lizards were my easy prey. The smell they had was something ingrained in my mind for so long.

They reek of fear.

The dragon angers, preparing a large breath of fire out of the “insult” Erina shot at him.

“YOU ALL SHALL FEEL THAT WRATH OF THE GREAT DRAGON OF FLAME? INFERNAL LORD OF THE SKIES, RAGLANIS?”

Erina, Elfana and Chibafu are all confused.

“Who? Are you famous?” Erina asks the team.

“If he is famous, we should get his autograph (to sell for money)” Elfana replies, Erina whipping out a pencil and paper.

I mean, money is a priority…

“What’d you say your name was again? Roast beef?” Erina questions, mishearing his name.

“No, it was Reginald” Elfana ‘corrects’ Erina.

The dragon is seething with rage, about to burst from the fire and anger within him.

He opens his mouth, but just then a puff of smoke sneaks out of his mouth. The dragon can hear a loud heartbeat, his own, suddenly stop.

A magical attack? Impossible! I’d been training myself to be immune to all attacks! How can this be…

The dragon looks back at the last century, thinking about his hard work. Benchpress, squatting, and…not actually using his powers. The recent years have been him sitting around in his cave, and eating an excessive amount of cows from the surrounding area.

I was perfect. I can never lose! I…

Looking back unbiasedly, he recalls eating fields upon fields of cows. Like, a lot of cows. That’s it.

“He’s dead.” Chibafu states, somehow equipped with a lab coat and the full doctor equipment.

“The cause?” Elfana approaches, in a nurse outfit

Chibafu slides over to the corpse, then leans up against it.

“Looks like cardiac arrest. Should’ve laid off the beef” Chibafu coldly announces.

…

They stood there for a moment, their outfits reverted to what they were.

“Wanna sell his body parts?” Erina asks.

“Sure.” Chibafu replies, and the three of them begin cutting the important parts like claws, wing fragments, and the whole head. And of course the prize jewel of dragons, their core.

Elfana rips the core from the dragon, appearing to be covered in plaque and gunk. She hands the core to Chibafu, who stores it in his inventory.

I wonder what these cores are even for…

Analysis Complete: Core of Raglanis.

Features: Grants One Wish to the Wielder. No Limits.

I see. This must be that “Overpowered item in the early game that carries the entire time” item. There’s probably an upper limit on what this grants, I wonder what it is!

There isn’t. Too bad he’ll never know.

“Man, hauling all these back to town is gonna take FOREVER!”

Oh. I just had a great idea. One that will ensure the story continues me and my friends get home safe!

“I wish…that we were back in town!” Chibafu pleads, the core reacting.

A thick red light, resembling fire embraces all three of the party members and transporting them back to town.

Bladed…well. They didn’t get transported, but they’re not conscious so it doesn’t matter.

…

Erina, Elfana and Chibafu head into the guild, slamming a bag with the head of the dragon on the counter.

“We finished the request!” Elfana exclaims, happy they finished without dying.

“Of course…what number is the request?” the clerk asks calmly, somehow unphased by the head of a dragon on the counter.

“I believe it was 001282” Chibafu reminds Elfana, and the clerk goes to retrieve the request.

As they wait for her return, a familiar looking clerk notices Chibafu and runs up to him.

“Chibafu-sama! Oh how great it is to see you!” The clerk screams at him.

“And you are…?” Chibafu asks, then remembers who she is.

She is (or was) that husk of a human who hated him when he first arrived.

“I am Thylia Ullus! A Humble guild clerk!” She happily replies, then embarrassingly looks down

“I have a request…could you….sign my shirt?” Thylia asks, revealing her shirt.

Her shirt, obviously custom-made, has a chair (looking similar to Chibafu) with a sword and shield, valiantly standing on a cliffside.

“Of course ... .where would you like it…?” Chibafu hesitantly accepts, and Thylia stretches her shirt out.

“Anywhere!”

I…don’t exactly have a way to write my name…welp, this’ll have to do!

Chibafu ejects a screw, then scribbles utter nonsense in WD-40 on the corner of this shirt.

Thylia is overfilled with excitement, passing out from this.

“Your request is a strange one, but due to the nature of taking out a dragon we must inform the king. The reward will be given in part now and after the verification.” The previous clerk returns, informing Unfoldable of this.

The clerk notices Thylia passed out, and just drags her to the back like it’s a regular occurrence.

The clerk returns for the second time, handing a bag with tons of money in it to the party.

“Holy shit! How much money is in here!” Elfana asks, Erina also wondering the same thing.

“927 ounces” the clerk replies.

Unfoldable happily take the bag and walk out. The clerk returns to the back, where Thylia had already framed the signed t-shirt and hung it on the wall.

“Fangirls are actually crazy” the clerk sighs, then begins writing the letter to the king.

…

Somewhere else, a heavily guarded carriage is making way on a gravel road, an unfamiliar city in sight.

“Thessilia-sama, we are approaching Treclidis. Please prepare yourself.” A Knight in heavy armor informs a beautiful girl, long light brown hair and a glistening blue dress. 100% someone important.

The carriage in the front suddenly stops, as something appears in the roadway.

A very big hole is dug out, with the words “NOT A TRAP” written in front of it.

“It’s a very big hole, must be a trap” one knight says

“I thought that too, but look it says “NOT A TRAP” next to it” another, very dumb knight replies.

“Oh, I see. It really looks like a trap, but that says it isn’t so we must be fine!”

Both of them are taken out by a single shot, from a hooded man a far, far distance away. He is holding a magnifying glass taped to a slingshot.

“2 knocked” he says, speaking into a rock with a microphone shape etched into it.

Another hooded man jumps from the bushes near the carriages before they have a chance to react.

One punches a knight’s head clean off, which flies and slams into 4 other knights.

“4 dead, pushing up” the close hooded man says into the microphone-rock.

The slingshot man loads another rock, then takes aim at more knights. He takes the shot, taking 2 out.

The close hooded man deals with the rest.

Thessilia is only hearing what’s happening, and is obviously scared. Then the sounds suddenly fall silent.

Footsteps approach her carriage, stomping closer and closer.

I’m going to die here aren’t I?

The door opens, and the bandits enter.

“What’re you gonna do to me!??” she screams, staring into the eyes of the hooded man.

“Think happy thoughts!” the hooded man happily says, confusing Thessilia.

He then punches her lights out.

…

Thessilia wakes up, chained to a wall. The room looks bleak, a single door, a table and a chair. The chair is nothing special, but there’s a man sitting on it staring blankly into space. Like his consciousness is having a bathroom break.

“Where am I? Who are you?” Thessilia pleads, the man just standing there.

“No response, huh? That’s how it’s gonna be?” Thessilia spits at him, no response either.

Sounds of footsteps begin rapidly approaching, but the noise isn’t coming from the outside. It’s coming from the man’s mouth.

A few clanking noises are heard, then a chair being pulled up.

“Apologies, was away from the controls for a moment” the man finally speaks, but the voice doesn’t match the body. The voice is a smug, entitled one. The man is bald and pushing 40.

“I’m sorry what?” Thessilia asks, completely confused about the situation.

“Ah, you haven’t been informed of the latest magical developments, have you? My mom got me them.” the voice chirps back.

“Not for some time, I’ve been pursuing other routes for the time being” Thessilia admits, slightly ashamed of herself for not knowing.

“It allows for full control of a person, so long as they submit! Pretty cool right?” The voice brags, showing off some moves like a sweep kick, jab and uppercut on nothing.

“I’m not used to these new controls yet, but when I am it’ll be something super-cool!” The voice continually brags, Thessilia looking fed up.

“Back to my question, What’re you going to do with me?” she reiterates. The man looks to ponder for a moment, then appears to get an idea.

“Oh, I just thought of the perfect idea! “ the voice exclaims, a massive grin growing on the man.

Whatever it is, I must endure. If not for the sake of myself, then for my people.

“I sentence you…to become a maid!” the voice screeches out.

What?

“...but not just any maid. A maid that doesn’t work for the Eve Ilguy house! How do you like that?!” the voice shouts again, the scheming nature heard in the tone.

“That’s…that’s it?” Thessilia asks, the punishment being way less than she thought.

“Working as a maid without the honor from the Eve Ilguy household would bring you great shame overtime…and this will make you ki-” the voice is cut off.

An older, woman-like voice begins to come from the man’s mouth

“Honey, Dinner is ready!”
“What’re we having tonight?” the male voice asks.

“Monster-Meatloaf. Your favorite!” the female voice returns, then the sound of footsteps grow more and more quiet, followed by a door closing.

The man lets a little fist pump out.

“Yes! I love monster meatloaf!” the voice happily says.

“Listen, do you have any idea of who you’re dealing with?” Thessilia asks, hoping to leverage her position out of this kidnapping.

“Do you have any idea who I am?! Watch your tone peasant. I merely caught you as a test for my new controlled subjects” The voice replies.

The man just stands there, and the sound of a chair on hardwood is heard.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I must partake in my favorite meal. I am a special boy after all” the voice states, before going silent.

Thessilia just sits down, accepting her defeat. The man goes back to blankly staring out into space, this time standing.

Is there anyone who can save me from a life of mild infuriation!?

There is.

About two doors down, Unfoldable are celebrating their first quest. This involves drinking, eating cake, and more drinking.

“I never imagined our first quest would be to fight a dragon!”
“Me neither, I thought it’d be something like ‘mine some ores’ or ‘help rebuild this village” Elfana spits out, hiccuping after.

“That famous lizard? I still wish we’d got his autograph!” Erina cries out, then inhales a piece of chocolate cake.

Is this world really that simple? Take quests to get rich, then party off the reward? What a breeze! I’ll be relaxing in no time!

Chibafu then makes the noise of clearing his throat, getting the attention of Erina (mid bite) and Elfana (mid sip).

“I just wanted to say…thank you, really. Without you two, I would’ve never gained such fun memories and amazing bonds. I want you both to know, I appreciate you, from the bottom of my heart.” Chibafu speaks his mind, the two girls blushing.

They both rush over and embrace in a group hug.

“I love you to- *cough* I appreciate you too!” Elfana catches herself, holding Chibafu tight.

“I would literally do anything for you!” Erina shamelessly says.

The two girls then split, trying to take Chibafu with them.

“I think I deserve some alone time with Chibafu, don't you?” Elfana asks, tugging Chibafu closer.

Erina Tugs back, passive-agressively asking back “Since you guys had so much quality alone time together, wouldn’t it be fair for me to have some for myself?”

The slight tugging turns into a tug of war for the body of a conscious piece of furniture.

They each pull as hard as they can, but the chocolate cake remains on Erina’s hands cause her to lose grip. The overwhelming strength Elfana put into pulling Chibafu caused him to fly right by her, and through the wall.

Then through the next building entirely.

Thessilia looks bored, then looks up to the sky, praying.

O Lord, can you save me?

Just as she finishes this prayer, a chair clad in holy light flies through the wall, knocking out the man (still in the same place) and breaking the restraints.

“Are you okay?” Thessilia hears a disembodied voice coming from below her.

She somehow ended up on top of Chibafu.

She stands up, and gazes upon her aluminum-steel clad hero and his dashing woven backrest. She blushes heavily.

“No, wait yes! I am fine!” Thessilia replies, flustered.

Chibafu sensually slides over to Thessilia, his lawn chair arm reaching out to brush a small amount of dust off her dress.

“My name is Thessilia Vanascent. Allow me to thank you for saving me” thessilia bows her head.

“There’s no need for that, really! I just happened to be flying by and saw someone in need!” Chibafu reassures her.

I mean I’m not lying, I was just flying by.

“My name is Chibafu Isu, please just call be Chibafu”

Thessilia opens her purse, attempting to pay Chibafu for saving her.

“There’s no price for being saved. At least not one I’ve decided yet” Chibafu tells Thessilia, lowering her purse.

“I really must be going, the guards will be here any moment anyway” Chibafu tells Thessilia, calming her down.

Chibafu begins to slide away, and as he does the knights find Thessilia.

“My Lady, are you alright? Are you hurt? Are you Hungry?” A knight asks, worried about her.

“I’m okay, no need to worry! I’m surprised you found out I’d been kidnapped, it only happened a few hours ago!” Thessilia is thankful to be saved though, and is hurried back to the royal capital.

I wonder…when will I see you again? My prince of steel, My folding hero! I must find you once more!

…

A few days pass after Thessilia returns to the royal capital. Her father receives the letter from the guild about “Unfoldable; the party who slayed the Infernal Overlord”.

“This party must be quite remarkable, slaying The Infernal Overlord. I just have to thank them properly”

“Arina! Can you summon this “unfoldable” party for me?” The king shouts out.

A younger-looking servant bows down, then leaves the room. As she leaves, Thessilia enters.

“Father! I’ve been meaning to talk to you!” Thessilia happily exclaims.

“What is it, Thessilia? Your eyes are telling me it’s something rather important”

Thessilia approaches the throne, then begins the blush.

“The truth is…I met someone” Thessilia embarrassingly tells her father.

The king smiles, true joy seen in his eyes and face.

“That’s amazing dear! To think that you of all people would find love! What’s he like?” the king prods.

“Well, he saved me from that kidnapping. He’s a warrior made of steel, and a woven softness to him!”

The king’s mental image is one of a blonde haired-prince, clad in iron armor.

“This hero, does he have a name?” the king asks

“Chibafu Isu”

The king thinks for a moment, then decides his next move.

“Then it’s settled. I must meet the one who stole my daughter’s heart!”

“ARINA!!” the king screams, ARINA opening the door immediately.

“Could you also include a summons for Chibafu Isu, the hero who saved my daughter?”

Arina bows, then leaves the room again, the king smiles and looks upon his daughter with joy.

This “Chibafu Isu” must be one amazing man, to have stolen the heart of Thessilia.

He is literally none of those things.