Prune king shaved clean

There once was a haughty king named Blunderbuss Santanahige. He was a stout man that wore a great crimson robe and had a luscious long white beard. He also had equally luscious long white hair styled in a pompadour. Then one day, something happened.

"Who are you, you skinless freak!?" Santanahige scoffed at the skeletal figure kneeling before him.

"Huh!? Do you not recognize me now that I am a licht? It is I, Ivo! The man you had cast into a burning volcano. Well it hurt! My stache and skin all burned off and now I'm a skeleton. Though I know necromancy, so I was able to become a licht. I'm here because I think you are in dire need of a trim," the skeletal figure stated as he stood up.

"Ivo!? Sorry don't remember. Guards, throw him in the volcano again."

Before the guards could react, Ivo suddenly leapt towards Santanahige, encasing him in a bubble. "Now shave him clean like Mr. Green!" Ivo cackled as he proceeded to suck all of Santanahige's hair off with his vacuum magic.

"NOOOOOO!" Santanahige wailed in despair.

Santanahige was then ejected from the bubble in nothing but his underwear as Ivo caught his robe and put it on. Santanahige trembled as he tried to stand up. He was now a scrawny, hairless, wrinkly old man. Well, he was already old and wrinkly, but now he was scrawny and hairless too.

"And now, you're the Prune king," Ivo mocked as he sat in the thrown.

A tiny orange mustache grew on his boney face which he quickly began maliciously twirling around. "Now I am the promoted king! Trash the hairless prune!"

Everyone called prune king ugly and threw him out into the mud.

"Hey, wanna become king again?" a pig asked.

"Yes, how dare they humiliate me!" prune king scoffed meekly.

"Then ya just gotta collect all your hair again, like every strand of hair you just had on you a minute ago. Collect each strand and it will grow back on you. Here, I managed to snag an eyelash before Ivo sent it to the volcano."

Prune king touched the eyelash, and suddenly, he now had 1 eyelash.

"Now go bring me the rest, swine!" Prune king meekly ordered.

"Do it yourself, wrinkly, or you can just cover yourself in mud and stay here for the rest of your life," the pig snorted.

"NO! I am King Santanahige! I do not roll in the mud like swiney bacon!"

"Then get out, bitch."

The pig then kicked Prune king out of the mud and onto the dirt road. A fat crow then shit on him. Then um, an elephant sprayed him with um, what was that thing they were arguing over on the blog, oh! Prune juice! That wasn't what they were arguing about but who cares the joke's funny.

Prune king furiously tried to yell at the elephant but tripped and flew through the sky towards a giant egg. He then found a strand of his nose hair in the nest and touched it. He now had an eyelash and a nose hair. As he was disgracefully thrown into a swamp by the bird that laid the egg, he resolved to go on a journey to retrieve every last hair that had been stolen from him.

"And me you ask? Why I'm your narrator, Cringe. Cringe21134 to be exact. Now, why don't we all check back in on our favorite gay hunk, Niles- Dumbee. I hear a flamewarring soul has become a new animal friend..."