Enter the Jester

Prune king's muffled moans rang out as Dumbee finished mummifying him in Vegemite.

"There we go, mate, now none of the animals will attack you," Dumbee smiled as he flexed.

"So how are we gonna get the map?" Capybara asked.

"We hunt a Tasmanian devil. They know a bunch of crazy shit by memory and can easily tell us where the skeleton cave is," Dumbee smiled as he tossed Prune king to Yaoi.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi responded as he put Prune king into a harness and began paragliding with him.

"Those two'll catch one and bring it back. Yaoi'll seduce one easy."

"Don't worry, I'll include the scene in the DVD release," Cringe giggled as he appeared. "So my little capybarra, know how you're gonna win the flame war?"

"With a 9 novel flex," Capybarra flatly replied.

"Good! But you'll need a bit more inspiration. Give it to him Dumbee!"

Dumbee smiled and held Capybarra up in the air before kissing him on the lips. Capybarra showed no reaction, as if he was just a lifeless puppet. Once the kiss scene was over, he returned to normal.

"That's it! I'll win the flamewar! Now I get it. Thank you so much for that French kiss," Capybara flatly proclaimed.

"I'm not French, I'm Australian, mate," Dumbee laughed.

Yaoi and Prune king then returned with a man dressed as a daimyo.

"That's not a Tasmanian devil! Oh no, they messed up," Dumbee laughed.

"Eh, I fell in a watering hole and all the Vegemite washed off. Luckily this guy showed up," Prune king stated.

"Wait cut! Who is this guy really? I don't know him," Cringe cried.

"Buwahahahahaha! I'm here to crash the set and self promote!" the daimyo laughed.

"YES! I'm so popular everyone wants to crash the set of MY TV drama! Do it daimyo man! Here, just give the capybarra puppet all these keyboard keys and give an epic speech about flamewars once you're done with your crashing," Cringe giggled.

"Flamewars!? I love starting those and watching people get miserable. Online, I'm known as Jesterthesupremeevildaimyo."

"REALLY!? I love your work! autograph!"

"Buwahahaha! I'll give you an autograph and a live performance!"

Ninjas suddenly appeared and began playing a song as the daimyo began to sing.

“Yo Yoi! I am the greatest criminal from the depths of Edo. The great daimyo of organized crime. Everyone fears my name! For every atrocity, I have attained! Murder! Kidnapping! Drug Smuggling! None can match my Might! Theft! Assault! War Crimes! All now fear my wrath! With my evil ninjitsu I will conquer all that’s good. They say Jesters are the fools, WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW DUMBASS! Lalalalalala! Jester-sama is the evil, dastardly, wicked, inhumane, dark ninjutsu daimyo! Oh oh oh oh! Yooooooo!”

Cringe teared up as he applauded the performance.

"And here are your keys. Now go tell your ex she's an ugly whore!" Jester laughed as he handed a pile of keys to Capybarra and exited the stage to give Cringe an autograph.

"Good going mate! Now that we have almost every key, the cave appeared!" Dumbee smiled as he pointed at a cave.

Capybarra walked into the cave and grabbed the keys.

"That's every one, now I just gotta log in and type my response," he said.

"I won't let you!" Ivo growled as he appeared.

Dumbee then threw a boomerang that beheaded Ivo and sent his head flying.

"Ouch! That hurt you asshole!" Ivo shouted.

"Quick, mate! Score the winning goal!" Dumbee smiled as Ivo's head flew towards Yaoi.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi said flatly as he kicked Ivo's head off into the sky.

"This isn't the last you'll se of MEEEEEEE!" Ivo shouted.

His body then got up and began chasing after his head. Capybarra then logged into his flamewar account and typed his response.

"Amelia, you're a whore. I'm now dating a hot guy because you insulted my flamewar career. No one would ever want to date a bitch like you that hates flamewars. I even got my first kiss from my boyfriend, it was a french kiss. You can't even kiss my ass. You're never losing your virginity. You suck, fuck you."

Once the message was submitted, a message reading "FLAMEWAR WON!" popped up on the screen.

"Good job mate! You won the flame! But I can easily make a fire with some stones," Dumbee smiled as he conked some stones together.

Suddenly, all the keys on the keyboard flew away.

"What's going on!?" Capybara flatly shouted.

"Well, this is a series I want to last for years, so you'll need to find all the keys again. They'll disperse after you win a flamewar, so if you want to win any future flame wars, you'll need to find the keys again," Cringe explained.

"Hey, and I still gotta find all my hair," Prune king stated.

Cringe then handed Prune king a can of shaving cream and a safety razor.

"What's this for?" Prune king asked.

"It's a meta joke. You're gonna need it for at least a decade," Cringe giggled.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi groaned as he held up a picture of a shirtless Dumbee.

"And with that, the gang will continue their yaoi Yowie hunt to find the keys again and win more flamewars. See you next week. Oh, and we'll be doing a giveaway of rare shirtless Dumbee photos. Just buy a DVD set and mail in the form that comes with it and you'll be entered to win 1 of only 100 shirtless Dumbee photos, and 10 grand prize winners will get a nude Dumbee photo of Dumbee in nothing but his hat and boots. So buy those DVDs as well as everything by me, Cringe!"

If only Cringe knew the spider he thought he squashed was about to come back with a vengeance.