S-Tier Stamina, F-Tier Magic

Kaiee stared at the glowing blue status screen floating in front of his face.
STAMINA: S-TIER
His jaw dropped.
“WHAT. HUH. HOW. WHY. WHO. WHEN. WHAT AGAIN?!”
He slapped his own cheeks.
“I’m a normal dude! How did I get S-tier?! Did I accidentally eat a dragon egg?! Did God mistakenly update my stats?!”
Then
A deep, thunderous voice boomed from the heavens.
“WOMINZERRR…YOU HAVE S-TIER STAMINA…BECAUSE YOU HAVE CRACKED SO MANY GIRLS.”
Kaiee froze.
“…oh.”
God added:
“Your past sins have… boosted your energy. Please stop.”
Kaiee smirked proudly, hands on hips.
“Well… what can I say? I’m kinda pro at”
A lightning bolt the size of a car INCINERATED the ground beside him.
Kaiee backflipped away shrieking:
“OKAY SORRY SORRY I TAKE IT BACK AHHHHHHHH!!!”
The Devil King’s voice echoed too, laughing like a drunk old man.
“Don’t roast him so hard, God! His womanizing is LEGENDARY! HAHAHAHA!”
God snarled.
“THIS IS NOT A SKILL TO BE PROUD OF.”
Kaiee wiped the sweat off his forehead.
“Man… these two treat me like a circus clown.”




Still trembling from divine electrocution, Kaiee dragged himself to the Hunter HQ to exchange the loot he got from the dungeon.
The place was MASSIVE today.
Angels with glowing halos were lined up.Demons with horns stood behind them.Even some weird horned-angel hybrids were waiting.
Everyone faced a giant black stone wall with a circular hole in its center.Whenever someone put their hand into it, glowing symbols appeared above their head.
Kaiee whispered to the receptionist girl, Arisa:
“Uhhh… what’s that black hole thing? Looks kinda illegal.”
Arisa giggled.
“It’s the Aether Wall. It measures your magic level. Everyone uses it to check their mana rank—Angels, Demons, Hunters. It's extremely accurate!”
Kaiee’s eyes sparkled.
“MAGIC CHECKER??? COOL! So if I put my hand in, it will tell me if I’m super strong?”
Arisa smiled warmly.
“Yes. But the line is long…”
She pointed to a line that stretched…Across the hall…Down the stairs…Across the street…Into the next building…
Kaiee stared.
“This is Disneyland level…”



KAIEE’S WAITING HELL
Three hours later
Kaiee stood behind a muscular demon wearing sunglasses.
The demon flexed, putting his arm in.
The wall glowed:
[A-Rank Mana]
People clapped.
Then an angel girl put her hand in.
[S-Rank Mana]
Everyone gasped.
Kaiee pumped his fist.
“YES. My turn. Time for MY S-TIER moment. Let’s goooo!”
Arisa watched him with hopeful eyes.
“I’m sure you’ll get at least C or B! I can feel it!”
Kaiee lifted his arm dramatically.
“Alright, magic wall PREPARE YOURSELF. I'm about to break the system!”
He slid his hand inside the hole.
Everyone waited.
The wall remained silent.
Kaiee smiled nervously.
“Hehe… maybe it’s measuring extra carefully. Because I’m unique? Special? Handsome?”
The wall suddenly vibrated.
A voice echoed from deep inside the stone.
“…you are useless.”
The entire room went silent.
Then
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Demons laughed so hard their horns shook.Angels fell to the floor clutching their stomachs.Someone drank holy water just to avoid choking.Arisa covered her mouth in pure shock.
Kaiee stood frozen, hand still in the hole.
“…did… did the wall just call me useless?”
The wall repeated louder:
“USELESS. ZERO MANA. NEGATIVE TALENT. GO HOME.”
Kaiee’s soul left his body.
The demon in sunglasses patted him on the back.
“Damn bro… even my ex wasn’t that harsh.”
An angel wiped tears from laughing.
“I’ve never seen it roast someone THAT brutally…”
Arisa hurried forward, panicked.
“K-Kaiee! I I’m sure it’s a mistake! Try again! Let’s”
Kaiee slowly raised his head.
Eyes empty.
Voice hollow.
“…Arisa… don’t talk to me for 10 minutes… I need to process this…”
Behind him, the Devil King’s voice echoed from the sky, absolutely wheezing:
“BAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T HE GOT NEGATIVE MAGIC BAHAHAHAHHH"
God’s voice followed:
“I tried to warn you. You have the magical talent of a spoon.”
Kaiee collapsed to his knees.
“WHYYY?? I JUST WANTED TO BE COOL!!”