Chapter 2

Inside was nothing like what I imagined. At a glance, I couldn’t tell it was a host club at all. It was a warmly lit room dyed entirely in decadent yellows and golds, with tables surrounded by booth-style seating and even a small stage for live music. Completely out of sight were the over-the-top champagne towers and drunken cheering I had been bracing myself for. It looked more like a classy high-end cafe than anything.

But still, the establishment’s true purpose lurked behind every aspect of its presentation. At every table without fail was a young woman dressed in business attire, and a host next to her. The hosts all looked quite different—some had on similarly formal attire, but most wore more casual, street-style clothes. The one thing in common they all had, though, was that they were all breathtakingly attractive. Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth, immaculately dressed—each would have easily taken up all the attention in the room were it not for the other hosts. The smooth, jazzy music was turned up just enough and they were talking just softly enough that they had to lean in closer to the women they were talking to, shoulders brushing, faces inches apart.

A woman in a suit and dress pants walked up to us. At first, I thought she was just another one of the clients, but then she stopped and spoke to us directly. “Welcome back, Rin. It’s good to see you again. And I see you’ve brought a friend this time.”

“Yup,” Rin said, wrapping an arm around me to pull me close. “This is Shizuku. It’s her first time at a host club, so show her a good time, yeah?”

The woman nodded, one arm behind her back and the other beckoning us in. “We have a table prepared just for you. Right this way, please.”

“Well?” Rin said, looking to me as we entered the club. “What do you think so far?”

“Was it okay to give her my real name?” I whispered.

Rin shrugged. “There’s no use hiding it. Ao’s pretty smart, I’m sure she’d figured it out either way. You don’t need to worry, though. She knows how to keep her mouth shut.”

As we followed Ao, we passed by many of the hosts that were on duty. Even from up close, their glamour held firm. That didn’t phase me, however. As an idol, I was surrounded by attractive people so regularly that I was mostly desensitized to it. The same was true for Rin as well, though she had taken it in a bit of a different direction. To her, it was almost like a challenge to find someone so beautiful that they could relight that sensation in her once again. And so began her fascination with host clubs. Already, her eyes were flicking greedily around the room as if she were perusing a buffet.

The hosts, in turn, couldn’t quite keep their eyes off us either. I felt their glances linger on us for just a moment longer than would be normal. Even the ones that were already preoccupied entertaining guests of their own turned to look at us as we passed by, earning us a few additional looks of irritation from their clients. Something gave me the impression that they weren’t just staring because they knew Rin as a regular.

“Here you are,” Ao said, stopping at a table all the way near the back, “a table for two. I’ll be back shortly, so just sit tight.”

She came back a few minutes later with one of the hosts, a flashy sort of guy with slicked back, bleach-blond hair. He draped himself over the seat, legs spread wide as if reclining into couch at home. Then, his head swivelled over to look at us and he fixed us with a sleazy sort of smile.

“Since this is your first time at a host club,” Rin said, sliding out of her seat, “why don’t I leave you here to get a feel for it? I can’t have all the fun for myself, after all.” Then, she got up from the table and began walking away, leaving me alone with the host.

“W-wait!” I tried to yell. “Where are you going?” But Rin just waved at me as she started chatting with some of the other clientele at the club.

“So,” the host began. “You a friend of Rin’s?”

He had one arm hanging from the back of his seat, and he was literally looking down at me with his chin raised. I felt small in his gaze, and I realized that was the point. Maybe there were some women that liked that, but I only felt intimidated, out of my depth.

“U-um, yeah. I am.” I finally managed, though I still couldn’t look him in the eye.

He grunted softly. Recognizing that I wasn’t going to be doing much talking, he took the reins himself. He spoke at length about all sorts of things, just trying to make conversation and fill the dead air. He paused every now and then, prompting me to jump in with a gentle “hm?” But I didn’t say anything, letting those openings pass me by.

After a few more minutes, Ao returned to tell the host that his time was up. He nodded and got out of the seat. “It was nice talking to you,” he said briefly before he left.

Ao and I watched him walk away. “Not to your liking, I take it?”

I shook my head slowly.

“No problem,” Ao said. “We have plenty of hosts and plenty of time. We’ll find someone you like.”

Next, she brought over someone younger. He looked to be about my age, with his hair undyed and only lightly styled. His fashion was more casual too. He looked like someone you could walk by any day on the street. Cute enough to make you do a double take, maybe, but not think he was out of place.

“H-hi,” he said as he sat next to me. He extended a hand to me in greeting, which I accepted. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Ao informed me that he was a recent hire. That certainly explained the nervous attitude. But that didn’t really help me feel any more comfortable. If anything, it only made it worse. At least the first host had the confidence to keep the conversation going on his own. But the second was just as anxious as I was, and we ended up not saying much of anything to each other until time was up and Ao returned again. He seemed quite apologetic as he left, which I felt bad about, but at least Ao was there to reassure him.

“Maybe someone more talkative?” I suggested.

Ao thought for a moment then nodded. When she returned, she brought with her a tall, tin man. He had dark brown hair, but I could see black growing from the roots. He had an easygoing smile and introduced himself smoothly as he took the seat next to me. He looked like someone from a male idol group or a boyband.

He seemed to have realized, just as the first host did, that I wouldn’t be saying much, so he started talking to fill the silence. Perhaps this was the standard move for hosts to engage with more nervous clients. Still, I didn’t feel it was right. I glanced up from the table to see Rin chatting with several of the hosts and their clients like they were old friends catching up. She said something I couldn’t catch and they all started laughing, clapping her on the back. That was just how she was. The kindness she showed to me was just an extension of the same kindness she showed everyone. She would never look at me as any more than them. I had to step up if I didn’t want to be left behind in her crowd.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I ever actually introduced myself,” I said, suddenly cutting the host off. He looked surprised, but he nodded, urging me to continue. “My name is Shizuku—the third member of Palettes, at your service!”

I put on the smile I usual wore for the stage, the one I had spent countless hours in front of a mirror perfecting. Immediately, his eyes widened and his smile widened. From then on, he went from polite to effusive. Everything I said was enough to make him laugh. He kept inching closer to me, placing a hand on my arm or letting our knees touch under the table. It wasn’t just that he was more responsive now that he knew I was an idol; I felt more confident as an idol. It felt natural to reciprocate his energy with each response.

This time, when Ao came back, the host flashed me one final smile as he left. “If you want to talk to me again, just let me know and I’ll be waiting.”

“Was this one more suitable?” Ao said with noted interest.

“No,” I said firmly. “He wasn’t bad, but I’d like to talk to a few more people.”

“Understood.”

For the next few hosts, I introduced myself as a Palette straight away. That made the conversations flow more smoothly. When I talked to them, I wasn’t just Shizuku, but I was Shizuku, the third Palette. They responded positively to my energy, and that increased my confidence in turn, creating a feedback loop.

But as I continued to talk to them, a thought struck me. Was it always this easy to get people to love me? Of course it was; I had always known that. I had gathered so many fans as an idol by doing exactly what I was doing then. Even if I didn’t have as many fans as Rin or Kyouko, it was more love that the average person had. After all, who could fill a third of a stadium with their admirers? People loved Shizuku the idol. But then, how could I make someone love me?

“Have you made up your mind?” Ao said as the most recent host left with a smile and a wave. “Or would you like to talk to someone else?”

“Maybe just a few more?” I said.

The next host Ao brought over had medium-length black hair that came down to the chin on the back. Unlike the second host, who clearly didn’t really know how to groom himself, this one was much more stylish. His hair was styled to complement his slender face and delicate features. He looked decidedly feminine—the type that would have both men and women throwing themselves at him. Rather than the other hosts, the most appropriate word to describe the one before me was beautiful.

Just as with the previous hosts, I started off by introducing myself. “My name is Shizuku, the sapphire member of Palettes. It’s nice to meet you!”

“The what?” The host raised an eyebrow, clearly unamused.

Immediately, my face flushed crimson. My outstretched hand hung in the air, fingers drooping, curled inwards as he refused to take it. Pinned by his blank stare, I shrunk in a way I thought I had forgotten since becoming an idol.

“Just kidding,” he said suddenly, his smile returning. “You’re Rin’s friend, then?”

He finally shook my hand, but the moment had lapsed. I wasn’t the inscrutable idol anymore; instead, I was the one desperate for his attention. I hated how easily he had pulled off that reversal.

“Ah, so you do know about Palettes?” I said, trying to for a smile.

“Yeah, Rin’s told me about you guys,” he said offhandedly. “So, are you the hard-ass?”

Once again, he had managed to unbalance me effortlessly. “Um, excuse me?”

“No, that’s not it. I got it, you’re the spoiled princess, right?”

“I-I don’t know what you—”

“Your last name is Otonoashi, right? As in, the Otonashi conglomerate?” Then, in response to my stunned expression, he added, “Oh yeah. Rin told me about that.”

I was floored. I couldn’t believe Rin would tell anyone about that, much less someone at a host club. It was true that my father was obscenely wealthy, and that I had never struggled financially thanks to him. But my relationship with my father was complicated, and not something I felt comfortable talking about. I had opened up to Rin about it in confidence. That she would tell anyone about it was a massive breach of trust.

For the remainder of the time I had with him, the host and I didn’t say much of anything to each other. My facade as an idol had completely crumbled away, with no hope of reconstructing it. Even if I managed to, he had already seen right past it anyway. He lounged in his seat next to me while occasionally taking sips from his glass, whiling away his time until Ao returned. When she did, he got up and left wordlessly, not even sparing a glance in my direction before disappearing. I felt utterly defeated.