Chapter 9: Suprise Attack

Morning. Of course I didn't have the courage to talk to Asahina-san about that meal. I didn't even have the courage to tell my family that sleep never came since, and now, on the third day of the end of term exams, the effects of such are written all over my face.

It’s strange how even after days pass, one gesture can linger heavier than the rest. That dish of gyudon, sitting quietly on my desk, pushed me towards a fact I cannot even admit—I don't feel the distance between me and Asahina-san though we're avoiding each other at school and at home.

Naturally, if I had problems similar to these, I would text or talk to Daiki like I usually did. Somehow, over the course of my sulking, I didn't. I knew that he was reviewing or letting his girlfriend Sumi revolve around his orbit.

People seek warmth whenever they can. I have those desires too, but I lacked the same compass. To simplify, I'm that guy who might say internally 'I want hugs!' but rather hug myself, get it?

By lunch break, I found myself unable to sit still so I stood up, slid my hands in my pockets and drifted out of the classroom.

I have already simulated this happening—I'll zigzag my way through the hallway like water through stones, slip in the cafeteria and sneak onto the rooftop and take refuge alone.

It took me a few steps outside when fate decided on a collision.

I mean it literally, thanks to my head being elsewhere today.

And the worst—I bumped into him, rather, it. Because he's the school's 'beast', Kanzaki Shuu.

A six foot tall wall with dyed hair and eyes as sharp as a hawk. His arms alone are akin to boulders, possibly capable of punching someone to death if provoked enough.

Comparing him to my stature is even unfair. The way I staggered as we bumped was enough for me to realize that the second time wouldn't feel as good as plowing into a tree trunk.

"Watch where you're going, punk!" he roared.

So to avoid commotion, I bowed my head slightly and said "Sorry."

But instead of moving on to his path, his icy glare locked onto me like I'd just spat on him.

“…What’s with that tone?”

Tone? My brows knit slightly.

I was apologizing. That's what people do when they become inconveniences with others, right? Wasn't that learned since we gained self consciousness?

“I said sorry."

“…That’s it? You think that’s an apology?”

"I guess so. I didn't intend to bump into you."

The burly student with a partially buttoned school uniform seemed unconvinced. So, I let the silence stretch.

However, seeing the other students that were on a lively chatter earlier hush down and retreat, the hidden message was sent.

Kanzaki was already pissed. And a pissed Kanzaki means trouble. If I continued the unsubstantial conversation, it would be an open invitation for violence. I don't want to be caught in his shadow if that happens.

"You think you can just bump into me and say that half-assed crap? Don't you damn squeak if you don't mean it!"

I exhaled softly through my nose. Something about this felt familiar. Ever since that incident, people misread my silence and implied different meanings in it. Was I really so empty in my expression? Or was it just that people couldn’t tell calm from indifference?

"I was sincerely apologizing and I mean it."

"Look at me when you apologize, you little shit!"

So I did.

“…My bad. I'm looking at you."

I kept my voice steady. But even then, Kanzaki’s lips curled into a snarl.

“You—!” His hand shot out, gripping my collar.

The fabric tightened against my neck. As he leaned closer, his eyes bored into mine, and his breath smelled like what my father had when he was still coping with my mother's departure.

Cigarettes.

“Are you mocking me?!”

Mocking? I blinked once. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. But here he was, inches away, demanding emotions from me that I didn’t feel.

"I'm not." I muttered.

But he didn't bulge. That was the problem. If you riled him up to this extent, there's no turning back.

“You think you’re better than me? Standing there with that dead look on your face—like nothing matters?”

“…You’re overthinking it,” I said, my voice barely above a murmur.

If this was what people saw when I was calm, then what was I supposed to do? Pretend? Paint my face with fear, humor, anger, just to match the script others expected? Does lack of reaction mean ingenuity or denial of existence?

I wondered if I was right in that logic, or if there are just people that love hearing what they want, not what is specifically said.

His fist tensed, then he cocked it back. For a second, I thought I would catch a swing from those powerful arms—so I braced myself for a counterattack.

But a voice cut through just right on time to spare me from a thorough beating.

“Fujimiya-kun?”

I loosened my fists immediately. I was surprised because of two things: Kanzaki actually stopping and the owner of that voice.

I turned my head to see Asahina-san walking towards us with a calm and poised expression, as if she had seen these unfold a thousand times before.

"What is going on here? Are you two by any chance...fighting?"

The question alone made Kanzaki falter as if his anger was bathed with cold water.

"It seems so." I answered. "I'm the one being pinned here."

"So you two are really on it, huh?" her tone as level as mine had been—keen observation of things. But where mine was mistaken for sarcasm, hers carried authority.

The accusation didn't shake Kanzaki. He'd been to the guidance office more times I can count, and the counselors themselves are already tired of dealing with him.

"This guy’s got a rotten attitude. He thinks he’s too good to even say sorry like a normal human being.”

I tilted my head slightly. “…I did apologize though.”

“Don’t screw with me,” Kanzaki growled, tightening his hold again. “You think I can’t tell the difference between an apology and some half-dead mutter? I don't make jokes from lesser crap like you."

“I just said sorry. You’re the one who turned it into this.”

He bared his teeth, eyes flashing. “So now it’s my fault?"

I exhaled softly. So this is what it means to clash with someone like him—a simple misunderstanding that loops into itself until nothing makes sense.

"...Clash of dimwits." Asahina-san sighed.

I internally reacted the same way. People who 'lack' emotions like me apparently had greater emotional intelligence and value than him.

She stepped closer, slipping her hands behind her back. Her expression didn’t change, but her words cut cleanly:

“He’s not mocking you, Kanzaki-kun. He’s just like this.”

Kanzaki blinked, anger visibly dialing down. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

"An apology is an apology no matter how bad it sounded. I can see the intention on his face. If you expected emotions, then maybe you weren't after the reconciliation after all—you're just threatening him to make you feel validated at all. And knowing him for so long, you're just wasting your time looking for that kind of 'emotion'.”

The hallway went quiet, save for the murmurs of the distant onlookers.

Kanzaki must've been also processing what Asahina-san just said in his head, if that ever contained something within.

"How do you even know this guy? There's nothing interesting about loners like him."

"It doesn’t matter if I know him or not. Like I said, if you can't read him, that's not his problem—it's yours."

Kanzaki's nerves popped in his temple, more than ready to argue.

"And this isn't your problem either. Why are you even here in the first place? I would've finished this with a thorough beating if not for your senseless blabber."

Even Asahina-san surrendered to his denseness with a sigh. That prompted me to intervene.

But before I could, she threw the bombshell hidden in her sleeves.

"Isn't that obvious? Because I'm in love with him."

I thought my heart stopped for a second. That’s the worst kind of statement that an older brother could receive from his little sister.

Kanzaki’s hand froze mid-grip, jaw slacking. “Wha—what the hell did you just say?”

I couldn't even process it at first. All of the moves that I am planning to get out of this situation just crumbled before me.

I stared at her, my lips parting soundlessly.

Did she really just…?

But as I got to see her still flat expression, I received the hidden message that she was making this up to get out of the hellhole we’re currently in. So instead of romanticizing everything, I recomposed myself and spoke up.

“I’m not informed but that makes sense.”

"You heard me. That should be enough explanation, right?" Asahina-san said plainly.

Hearing this, Kanzaki finally lets go of me, shoving me back with a frustrated grunt.

"Damn it, you lucky bastard." as he glared between the two of us like he couldn’t decide which one of us had lost our minds. "I wouldn't imagine anyone being saved by a beauty like her. But next time, don't think I'll let it go so easily."

He stormed off, muttering one last curse under his breath. The crowd that gathered gave way, afraid of being caught in his wrath from being spared a victim.

"...What was that just now?" I whispered.

But she just walked past me, not even sparing a glance.

“Next time, don’t drag me into your problems.”

And then she was gone, heels clicking against the polished floor until the sound faded.

I sighed and adjusted my collar, letting myself calm down like I always did.