Scars We Carry

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November arrived with cold rain and shorter days.
Ren had been quieter lately. Not withdrawn exactly, but subdued in a way that worried Airi. He still showed up to study sessions, still walked her home, still texted good morning and goodnight. But something was off.
It was in the way he stared at nothing during lunch. The way his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. The way he flinched when doors slammed too loudly.
"Is Ren okay?" Miki asked one afternoon in the library. "He's been... different."
"I know. He says he's fine, but—" Airi frowned, watching Ren through the window. He was outside on a bench, alone, staring at his phone with an expression she couldn't read.
"Maybe it's exam stress?" Yuki suggested. "We're all on edge."
But Airi didn't think it was just exams. She knew Ren's stressed face. This was something else. Something deeper.
That evening, as they walked home, Airi decided to push.
"Ren, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You've been distant all week."
"I'm just tired."
"Ren." She stopped walking, forcing him to face her. "I told you everything when I was breaking. Let me help you too."
He was quiet for a long moment, jaw tight. Then: "What's the date today?"
"November 18th. Why?"
"Tomorrow's the anniversary. Of my dad leaving."
Airi's breath caught. "Oh."
"Eleven years. I was six." He laughed bitterly. "You'd think it would stop hurting after so long. But every year around this time, I just... I remember."
"What do you remember?"
"Everything."
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## 💔 The Story
They ended up on their rooftop—of course they did. It was where all the important conversations happened. The sky was dark, threatening more rain, but neither of them moved to leave.
Ren sat with his back against the fence, Airi beside him, their shoulders touching.
"He left on a Tuesday," Ren said quietly. "I remember because Tuesday was my favorite day. We had gym class and my dad always asked about it after school."
Airi stayed silent, just listening, her hand finding his.
"I came home from school and his things were gone. Clothes, books, the coffee mug he always used. Just... gone. Like he'd never existed." Ren's voice was flat, emotionless. "My mom was crying in the bedroom. I asked her where Dad was. She said he wasn't coming back."
"Ren—"
"I didn't understand at first. I thought he was on a trip. That he'd come home eventually. So I waited." His laugh was hollow. "I waited for weeks. Months. Every time the door opened, I'd run to see if it was him."
"Did he ever come back?"
"Once. When I was eight. He showed up out of nowhere, said he wanted to see me. Took me to the park." Ren's grip on her hand tightened. "I was so happy. I thought he was staying. That we'd be a family again."
"But he wasn't."
"He wasn't." Ren closed his eyes. "He said he loved me. Said he was sorry. Said he just couldn't do it anymore—the responsibility, the pressure, the ordinary life. He needed to be free."
"What did you say?"
"I asked if I could come with him. Be free together." His voice cracked. "He said no. Said he couldn't take care of a kid. That I was better off with Mom."
Airi's throat tightened with unshed tears. She wanted to say something, anything, but words felt inadequate.
"He left again. Didn't even finish our day at the park. Just... left. And I haven't seen him since." Ren opened his eyes, staring at nothing. "Sometimes I wonder if he thinks about me. If he regrets leaving. If he's even still alive."
"That must be so hard."
"The worst part isn't that he left. It's that he made me feel like I wasn't enough. Like if I'd been a better son, a less difficult kid, maybe he would've stayed." Ren finally looked at her, eyes red-rimmed. "And I know that's not true. I know it was his choice, his failure. But that feeling never goes away completely."
"Is that why you fight so hard to protect people? To never give up on anyone?"
"Maybe. Probably." He laughed without humor. "I couldn't make my dad stay. Couldn't make him choose me. So I became someone who fights for people who can't fight for themselves. Like if I can save enough others, it'll make up for not being worth saving myself."
"Ren, no—" Airi turned to face him fully, taking his face in her hands. "You are worth saving. You were always worth saving. Your father's choice had nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with his own cowardice."
"I know that up here." He tapped his head. "But here—" He pressed her hand to his chest, over his heart. "Here, I'm still that six-year-old waiting for his dad to come home."
Tears streamed down Airi's face. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry he did that to you."
"Don't cry. Please don't cry." Ren wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I hate making you sad."
"I'm not sad. I'm angry. Angry at your father for being so stupid. For not seeing what an incredible person he had and throwing it away." She held his hands tightly. "You are not too much. You are not unworthy. You are everything good and bright and worth fighting for."
Ren pulled her into a fierce hug, burying his face in her hair. "How do you always know what to say?"
"Because I love you. All of you. Including the scared six-year-old who's still waiting."
They held each other as the first drops of rain began to fall.
---
## 🏠 Meeting the Past
"There's something else," Ren said eventually. "My mom got a letter. From my dad."
Airi pulled back to look at him. "What?"
"First contact in nine years. He's living in Osaka now. Married, has two kids." Ren's expression was carefully blank. "He wants to meet. Says he's 'matured' and 'ready to be a father.'"
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Part of me wants to tell him to go to hell. Part of me..." He looked away. "Part of me still wants to know why. Why wasn't I enough? Why does he get a second chance at being a father with someone else's kids?"
"Do you want to meet him?"
"Maybe? I don't know." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Is that pathetic? After everything, part of me still wants his approval."
"It's not pathetic. It's human." Airi took his hand. "Whatever you decide, I'm with you. If you want to meet him, I'll go with you. If you want to ignore the letter, that's okay too. This is your choice."
"Will you help me decide?"
"I can't decide for you. But I can help you think through it."
They talked for hours on that rooftop, rain soaking them as they discussed the options, the risks, the possible outcomes. By the time they finally left, Ren had made a decision.
"I'm going to meet him. Once. Just to get closure." He squeezed Airi's hand. "But only if you come with me."
"Are you sure you want me there? It's personal—"
"You're part of my life now. Part of my future. If he wants to know me, he needs to know that you're not going anywhere." Ren stopped walking, turning to face her. "Besides, I need you there. For strength. For support. For reminding me that I'm not that six-year-old anymore."
"When?"
"This Saturday. He suggested a cafe in the city." Ren looked nervous now that the decision was made. "I'm terrified."
"Me too. But we'll do it together."
"Together," he echoed. "Always together."
---
## ☕ The Meeting
Saturday arrived too quickly.
Airi met Ren at the train station. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept. She probably looked the same—she'd been up all night worrying about him.
"Ready?" she asked.
"No. But let's do it anyway."
The cafe was small and quiet, the kind of place designed for serious conversations. Ren's father was already there, sitting in a corner booth. Airi recognized him immediately—Ren looked just like him, same eyes, same jawline.
The man stood as they approached, smile uncertain. "Ren. You came."
"Yeah." Ren's voice was cold. "This is Airi. My girlfriend."
"Nice to meet you." His father—Airi refused to think of him as Ren's dad—extended his hand. She shook it briefly.
They sat down in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Ren's father spoke.
"You look good. Grown up."
"It's been nine years. People tend to grow up in nine years."
"Right. Of course." He cleared his throat. "I wanted to apologize. For leaving. For not being there."
"Okay. You've apologized. Is that it?"
"Ren, I know you're angry—"
"I'm not angry. I'm past angry. I've spent eleven years dealing with the consequences of your choice. Eleven years watching my mom work herself to exhaustion because you left us with nothing. Eleven years wondering what was wrong with me that made you leave."
"Nothing was wrong with you—"
"Then why did you leave?" Ren's voice cracked. "Why wasn't I enough?"
His father looked down at his coffee. "It wasn't about you. It was about me. I was young, scared, overwhelmed. I wasn't ready to be a father."
"Then you shouldn't have had a kid."
"You're right. I shouldn't have. And I'm sorry for that." He looked up, meeting Ren's eyes. "But I want to make it right now. I want to be in your life again."
"Why? Because you're 'matured'? Because you figured out how to be a father with your new kids so now you're ready to practice on me?"
"That's not—"
"I saw the photos on Facebook." Ren's laugh was bitter. "You at their school plays. Coaching their soccer team. All the things you never did with me. So tell me, what changed? What made them worth staying for when I wasn't?"
Airi reached under the table, taking Ren's hand. He was shaking.
"I can't change the past," his father said quietly. "I can only try to do better now."
"It's too late for 'now.'" Ren stood up, pulling Airi with him. "I came here hoping for... I don't know. An explanation that made sense. Something that would make it hurt less. But there's nothing you can say that will fix this."
"Ren, please—"
"I have a family. My mom, who never gave up on me. My girlfriend, who chose to love all the broken parts of me. My friends, who show up when I need them." He looked at his father with something that might have been pity. "I don't need you anymore. I stopped needing you years ago."
"Son—"
"Don't call me that. You lost the right to call me that when you left." Ren's voice was steady now, certain. "I hope you're a better father to your new kids than you were to me. I hope they never feel like they weren't enough. But I'm done carrying your guilt."
He turned and walked out, Airi right beside him.
---
## 🌧️ The Aftermath
Outside, Ren made it three blocks before he broke down. He collapsed against a wall, sliding down to sit on the sidewalk, tears streaming down his face.
Airi sat beside him, pulling him into her arms, letting him cry.
"I'm sorry," he gasped between sobs. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this—"
"Stop apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for."
"I thought I was ready. Thought I could handle it." He looked at her with devastated eyes. "But seeing him, hearing him try to justify it—it brought everything back. All the hurt, all the feeling like I wasn't good enough—"
"You are good enough. You've always been good enough." She held him tighter. "He's the one who's broken, not you."
"I wanted him to say something that would make it make sense. Something that would make it hurt less."
"Some hurts don't make sense. Some people make choices we'll never understand." She wiped his tears gently. "But you know what? You're stronger than him. You've faced your pain instead of running from it. You've built yourself into someone incredible despite him, not because of him."
"I couldn't have done it without you. Without Mom. Without people who actually chose to stay."
"And we're not going anywhere." She kissed his forehead. "You're stuck with us."
They sat on that sidewalk for a long time, Ren crying while Airi held him, pedestrians walking past without a second glance. Eventually, his tears subsided.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "For being here. For coming with me. For not making me feel weak for crying."
"You're not weak. You're human. And you're mine." She helped him stand. "Come on. Let's go home."
"Your home or mine?"
"Yours. Your mom should see you. Know you're okay."
"Okay." He leaned on her as they walked toward the station. "I love you, Airi. So much."
"I love you too. Through everything."
"Through everything," he echoed.
---
## 🏡 Home
Ren's mom was home when they arrived. She took one look at Ren's face and pulled him into a hug.
"He met his father today," Airi explained quietly.
"Oh, baby." She held Ren tighter. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Mom. I'm okay. I got closure." He pulled back, managing a small smile. "And I realized something. I have everything I need right here. You and Airi. That's my family. That's enough."
His mom's eyes filled with tears. "You've always been enough. Even when he was too blind to see it."
They spent the evening together, the three of them, eating simple food and watching mindless TV. Airi called her mother to let her know she'd be home late. No questions were asked—just acceptance and trust.
Later, when Ren's mom had gone to bed, Ren and Airi sat on his small balcony, looking at the city lights.
"I thought confronting him would make me feel better," Ren said. "But it didn't. It just made me realize he's not worth the space he's been taking up in my head."
"That's still progress."
"Yeah. It is." He turned to her. "I meant what I said. You're my family. You and Mom. That's all I need."
"What about four years from now? When we're in different cities?"
"Then we're still family. Just long-distance family." He took her hand. "Distance doesn't change what we are to each other."
"No. It doesn't." Airi leaned her head on his shoulder. "Your father is an idiot, by the way."
"Oh?"
"He had you. The most incredible, kind, passionate person I've ever met. And he threw that away. That's not your failure. That's his."
"I'm keeping you forever," Ren said. "Just so you know."
"Good. Because I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
---
## 📔 Journal Entry
That night, Airi wrote:
*Dear Future Me,*
*Today Ren faced his father. The man who abandoned him eleven years ago and thought he could just walk back into his life.*
*I watched Ren stand up for himself. Tell his father he didn't need him anymore. Walk away from the pain he'd been carrying for so long.*
*And then I held him while he cried on a sidewalk. Because being strong doesn't mean not breaking. It means having people who help you put yourself back together.*
*He's been there for me through my breakdowns. My fears. My pressure.*
*Today I got to be there for him.*
*That's what partnership is. Not one person always saving the other. But taking turns being the strong one.*
*We both carry scars. His from a father who left. Mine from a lifetime of trying to be perfect.*
*But together, our scars don't make us weaker. They make us understand each other better.*
*Four months until university entrance exams. Five months until we're in different cities.*
*But we're going to make it. Because we choose each other. Every day. Even the hard days.*
*Especially the hard days.*
*Love,**Present Airi*
**Ren**: *thank you for today*
**Airi**: *Always. Are you okay?*
**Ren**: *im getting there. feels like i put down something heavy*
**Airi**: *You did. You were so brave.*
**Ren**: *only because you were there*
**Airi**: *We're brave together.*
**Ren**: *always together*
**Ren**: *hey airi?*
**Airi**: *Yes?*
**Ren**: *youre the best thing that ever happened to me*
**Airi**: *You're the best thing that ever happened to me too.*
**Ren**: *good. because youre stuck with me*
**Airi**: *Forever.*
**Ren**: *forever ❤️*
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