A Kat's (GOD AWFUL!!!) Blessing
“I’m pooped,” Kat said, using the bag of cat food as a pillow as she rested underneath a tree. “Maybe we should go home after all.”
“Oh, so now you agree with me,” Ludwig responded, sitting on his butt next to Kat. “Why couldn’t you have reached that conclusion when I first suggested it?”
They had walked for another half hour before reaching their limits. Kat’s arms were ready to fall off while Ludwig’s legs were ready to crumble underneath his weight.
A wind started to pick up, bringing some relief to the pair.
“Aahh, that’s nice,” Kat said, holding her arms up to feel the breeze.
“Say, Kat,” Ludwig said, looking over at the bag of cat food Kat was using as a pillow. “How about you bust that bag open for a quick snack?”
Kat sat up. “Nuh uh! This is for the strays!”
“Aw, come on. Just a couple of pellets,” he said, extending a claw toward the bag.
Kat quickly withdrew the bag away from Ludwig’s reach.
“Come on!” Ludwig argued. “I burned through so much energy just getting all the way out here! Surely you could give me a bite or two to help recover my strength!”
“Do you know how lame it’ll be if I present them with an opened bag of cat food? ‘Hey, guys! Heard you needed some food! Sorry it’s already open! Got a bit hungry on the way here and helped myself to a bite! Haha!’”
Ludwig got to his feet and jumped for the food, which Kat moved out of the way. “It’s not like we’re gonna find the Kingdom of Cats today! So there’s no point in preserving it!”
“If you got this much energy, then you don’t need any to recover your strength!” Kat barked.
“It’s lunchtime!” he yelled, lunging up to the bag.
Kat swung the bag away. “Eat when we get home!”
“I won’t make it home!”
“If you knew there was a bowl of food waiting for you at home I bet you would!”
The two argued back and forth as Ludwig kept trying to get to the bag, with Kat swinging it away out of reach. After a few failed attempts, Ludwig finally managed to grab hold of the bag.
“Ah-ha!” he cheered. His claws dug into the bottom of the bag, where he now hung from. There was no ground beneath his feet as they kicked back and forth. “Uh oh.”
“Let go!” Kat said, swinging the bag around to get Ludwig off.
As she spun, Ludwig held tight to the bag. Not because he was trying to, but his claws managed to get themselves stuck.
“I’m stuck!” he yelled, becoming dizzy from all the spinning.
“Then get unstuck!” Kat yelled.
“Stop for a second and I will!”
Ludwig’s weight combined with Kat swinging the bag caused a giant gash to rip open in the bottom of the bag.
“Oof!” Ludwig squealed when he crashed to the ground.
All the cat food pellets poured unceremoniously from the bag onto the ground. Both of them stared in disbelief at all the now wasted food.
“Look what you did!” Kat yelled, throwing the now empty bag on the ground.
Ludwig pointed at himself. “Me?! I told you to stop so I could get myself unstuck!”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have jumped at it in the first place!”
“Well, if you had just given me a bit to eat, then none of this could’ve happened!”
“You don’t need it!” she yelled, swinging her arm with the ribbon attached.
The ribbon yanked on Ludwig’s neck, dragging him face-first into the pile of cat food.
Realizing what she just did, Kat calmed down, feeling regret that she just strangled him. “Oh no! I’m sorry! I forgot we were attached! Are you okay?”
Ludwig looked up, his mouth chomping away on the cat food. “Never better!” he said.
Kat’s empathy immediately evaporated at the sight. “Don’t go eating it now!”
“Why not? It’ll just go to waste if we leave it here.”
“It’s your fault it’s going to waste to begin with!”
“Well, excuse me for making a huge mess! As punishment, I’ll clean it up.” He quickly started chowing down like he was in the middle of a speed-eating contest.
“No! Stop it!” Kat grabbed Ludwig and held him up. “You aren’t going to eat it!”
Ludwig kicked his feet in the air, trying to get down. “Come on! I’m hungry! I’ll starve to death before we get home!”
“I’m sure you’ll manage to hold out before—”
As Kat and Ludwig were arguing, dozens of cats jumped out of the nearby grass and bushes. They quickly circled the two, hissing and clawing at them. The two held tightly onto one another, unsure of what was going on.
“You think they’re mad because of the food?” Ludwig asked?
“Put the cat down!” commanded a voice.
Kat looked around in confusion, trying to spot whose voice that was amongst the crowd of hissing cats.
“Are you guys the YEOWCH!”
A streak of orange and white leaped out from behind Kat, scratching her arm.
Ludwig fell to the ground with a belly flop, letting out an “Oof!”
The streak of orange and white then leaped and slashed the yellow ribbon, severing it.
“Ludwig!” yelled the pair of black cats that had visited him for food donations.
“Oh! Hey guys! What’s with the whoa whoa whoa—” he said before being cut off. The two black cats quickly swept him off his feet into the crowd of hissing cats, separating him from Kat.
“Ludwig!” Kat yelled, trying to run over to him. “Eek!”
Before she could take another step, the same streak of orange and white scratched at her again, blocking the way. It then landed in front of her, looking up at the formidable creature. “Diabolus Calico!” Boss shouted.
“Huh?” Kat responded.
“Your reign of terror shall end here! No longer will you go around and hunt us strays like dogs!”
Kat looked at him with confusion. “I, um… What? Are you the stray cats from the Kingdom of Cats?”
“Indeed, and you have made an enemy of us and all cat kind! We will strike you down here and now!”
Boss jumped at Kat, his claws extended. He bared his fangs, ready to clamp down on her.
She yelped, dodging out of the way. Boss launched a second assault, which Kat managed to miss at the cost of strands of fur.“Ludwig!” she yelled, unsure of what was happening. “What’s going on?!”
Ludwig tried to call out to her, but Wolfgang and Amadeus quickly ushered him away from the battle to return him home. Every time he tried to get a word in, they cut him off, letting him know that he was now safe. Eventually, he gave up trying to say anything and walked home in silence, worried for Kat.
Kat was now alone with an entire swarm of cats seemingly wanting to kill her. They all cheered on for Boss, who was relentless in his attacks. A few times he managed to slam his head into Kat, who could only block. She didn’t want to fight back as she didn’t want to hurt him. This must all be some misunderstanding! she thought. If only I can get a word in and try to explain myself.
“Please!” she cried out. “Can’t we talk?!”
Boss lunged at her head, his claws ready to strike.
At the last moment, Kat ducked down, covering her head. “What did I do?!”
Boss halted his attack, standing before Kat. “For weeks you have chased and attacked my brothers and sisters, terrorizing them! You had chased them through the forest and the fields in relentless pursuits! And when you caught one, you forced him to march in this heat, laughing at his misery! And when he tried to free the food you had stolen, you dumped it on the ground, yanking the bind that held him and forced him into it!”
“Okay… Yeah… All of that did kinda happen. But this is all a big misunderstanding!” she pleaded.
“So you admit that you terrorized my fellow cats?” he asked, glaring at Kat.
“I didn’t mean to! I just wanted to talk!”
Boss stared directly into her eyes, watching her. He had her the stories of the devastating Diabolus Calico, yet this supposed demon that cowered before him did not meet his expectations. When he looked into her eyes, he did not see the malice of those that had tried to capture and kill him throughout his life. They were the eyes of a young girl, scared of the circumstance that she currently found herself in.
Maybe there is some grain of truth to her words, he thought.
Kat continued to cover her head, wondering what was going to happen to her next.
“...Do you stand down and forfeit yourself?”
“Uh…” Kat fumbled her speech. “Like, do I give up?”
“Surrender yourself to me, and I will spare your life.”
Kat gulped, nodding profusely. If this meant things would go more smoothly from here on, then she was fine with it.
“Bow down,” he commanded.
Doing as told, Kat bowed down before Boss. He then hopped onto her back and turned to the crowd of strays, who had ceased their hissing.
“Diabolus Calico… has been defeated!”
A roar of cheerful joys erupted from the strays, who jumped into the air in victory. They then began to chant Boss’ name over and over again. The hero of strays. The leader of the Kingdom of Cats. The slayer of Diabolus Calico.
“BOSS! BOSS! BOSS! BOSS! BOSS!”
Kat let out a big sigh as she resigned herself to her fate.