Maybe a Little Patience Would Have Helped

“Dede-chan… why did you abandon me? I had to cut open my stomach and hide this disgusting hand inside, just to sneak it out!” Pestilence cried once she returned to the apartment. Remember that she was the one who wanted to steal this ‘disgusting hand’. Also, the Hand of Glory must have helped her amble out the front gate. No cutting required.

Not sparing any energy to address Pestilence’s lies, I merely gestured at her new outfit. “Did you fight a hobo for this?”

I knew that she needed another set of clothes after ditching everything she had gotten from the power plant, but seriously? A broken gray sweater over a shirt, and pants riddled with holes. The smell of garbage from Pestilence’s new getup made me want to challenge Raven to sniff it. She might finally realize how off the mark her home-camping was compared to the reality of homelessness.

“Come on, Dede-chan. Fighting isn’t my style. You know that. I’ll have you know that I stole it,” she clarified, as if a different type of crime would make things better.

“I’ll let you off the hook. Only because if I listed out your crimes, Raven would wake up before I finished,” I said. Compared to stealing a severed hand from an immortal asshole, Pestilence’s petty theft against a vagrant was… honestly worse. It wasn’t like War needed the Hand of Glory to survive a cold night.

If only Pestilence’s involvement in the theft hadn’t scrambled my quasi-omniscience. If only I had found out who the clothes belonged to. I could have made sure no one would die from the cold. If only I truly knew everything. Maybe, that would be what I need to save everyone.

“Why did you ask me about people’s fate after death?” I asked. This question cleared my mind of those inconvenient thoughts. Keeping Pestilence in check, that was what mattered. I needed to know more about her. The person she was at the moment, not the mirage of her past self that I only vaguely remembered.

“Just a random question,” Pestilence said. She took off her atrocious outfit and dumped it into the trash. She might have a sense of disgust after all.

“Random? You don’t do random.”

Pestilence strode towards the bathroom. I would even dare to say that she was escaping from the conversation. “Do I have to take all these accusations? Can’t a girl learn? Or will you burn me as a witch? Oh, the horror-”

“Shut it. We made a deal. I helped you steal whatever that abomination is. And you will work for me. Not whatever kinky roleplay that you think can ensnare me.” I crossed my arms and slipped in front of her. She stopped.

Silence. I didn’t blink, as spirits didn’t have to do so. Pestilence also didn’t for a while, thanks to her influence over her body. It was a makeshift staring contest.

Eventually, Pestilence yielded with a blink. I didn’t know how voluntary that action was. After her defeat, she shook her head as she stepped into the shower. “When I learned that the world had eliminated smallpox, my heart sank. Hell, look at how fast humans developed a vaccine for COVID. In the past, that virus definitely would have wiped out a larger part of the population. It was a sign that humans could overcome diseases, a pillar of nature’s will.”

“Wow. That must have been one of the most pretentious things to have come out of your mouth.” I could never understand her obsession with the natural law. Try living in the wild; see how she would like it.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m suited to be your mindless slave. Anyway, the disappointment also got me wondering… has anyone survived death before?” Her gaze drifted to the row of flasks in her kitchen, specifically to the one with an acorn inside.

“Nope.” I gave her a single word. Once our host dies, we take over their bodies, and after we die too, we hop to another host. There could be no reversing this, and also not the thousands of deaths that had taken place since we started this conversation. Believe me, I would know if there were.

We let the calmness swell and the night hurry by. Eventually, Pestilence fell asleep on a chair. I wondered if she had ever used her bed at all.

***

“Do you see that? Ogusu Genki died last night at his office. Good riddance. He totes deserves it.” Raven dug her fork into a piece of scrambled egg and brought it to her mouth. Her other hand showed her phone screen to Pestilence across the table.

“Ekk. Don’t mention this! I was eating.” Pestilence let her fork slip from her fingers. No sign of the deep sorrow that she had revealed to me yesterday.

What a faker. You were there yesterday!

I might be rolling my eyes internally, but I had no reason to take away Pestilence’s fun. I would rather she unwind like this than spread some unknown fungus in the city as a twisted hobby.

But nothing was stopping me from ruining Raven’s fun. “Are you sure he deserves it? You hated Hideka too, but you now share social media posts and memes with her. I know what you two text each other.”

“Ueshima-san isn’t on the same level as those rich assholes. Do you see a dedicated office worker get wealthy? No, because you can’t be rich without using shady methods. You have to be an accomplice to the corrupt system. You have to be greedy, or else you would have spent what you’ve earned to help the poor, as I do for the orphanage. So many poor people die every day, I don’t see why I should be sad about bad people dying, especially when one less rich asshole means more money for the rest of society.” Raven ended her entitled speech with a shrug to emphasize how much of a bitch she was.

Could she say the same thing after knowing the reaction from Genki’s wife and daughter to his death? Would she if she knew the amount of charity work he did when he was alive? Or the vow written in his diary of his goal to make energy affordable for everyone, and the steps he had taken to make it a reality? I could tell Raven these things, but she wouldn’t believe me.

Because he was also a misogynist and a beneficiary of capitalism. I had played judge in a previous life too, but eventually, I saw that, no matter who one was in real life, the deaths would come in the same way. As a mere spark to me, combined with other demises to form a grating noise in my ear.

“What is Dede-chan talking to you about? Don’t leave me out…” Pestilence leaned closer to Raven, interjecting into our conversation without an ounce of shame. No wonder these two got along so well.

“Death-san keeps defending the rich people who died, even though karma disagrees with her. Why else would so many of them have died recently?”

“Dede-chan? She is probably trying her hardest to look away from their deaths. She has always been like this.” Pestilence scooped those slimy eggs from her plate into her mouth; that was if they were eggs at all. Only at this moment was I glad that my quasi-omniscience couldn’t tell me what they were.

“That’s interesting.” Raven typed Pestilence’s words on her phone. “Karen-san, you are so nice and helpful. I should have moved in with you earlier.” Excuse me? Did she have memories on par with a goldfish? Did she remember her diarrhea? Maybe I had to give her the rundown on which historical plagues Pestilence caused. But something else clicked in my mind.

“Wait. What did you mean by ‘so many of them have died recently?’” I blurt out. I could have asked more artfully, or maybe I shouldn’t have asked at all. Quasi-omniscience should fill me in with the rest. Too late to take back my question, because Raven had the biggest smirk on her face.

“Oh? Do I finally know something that you don’t? Let’s trade info, shall we?” Normally, I would remind her how little value the things she knew had. No one had to know her opinion on why communism would make for a better society.

I didn’t reply. Or maybe I did. It wasn’t my main concern. The outside chatter and all other sounds dissolved, as my focus on my mental search engine had deafened me. Documents from the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, hospitals, and news organizations, I scoured for any accessible information about other recent deaths.

The victims all died of health conditions. No foul play was found. The police were skeptical at first, but were forced to concede after a severe lack of clues. I didn’t blame them. Forensic science wasn’t yet equipped to deal with magical crimes. And in this case, magical artifacts had to be involved. The underground artifact trades. Targeting the rich.

I hated how spontaneously my conclusion came. I’d prefer it to arise from careful deduction. That way, my victory wouldn’t be soured by one inevitable fact. The fact that I could have arrived at this conclusion the moment I had seen Genki’s lifeless body. I had the pieces all along, floating in the ocean of facts, ready to be fished up by my mental search engine anytime. But I failed to find it.

A win was still a win; as the saying goes, beggars can’t be choosers, especially if your winter clothes were stolen by an immortal masochist.

Also, I was getting ahead of myself. After all, this was just speculation. To confirm whether I was right, I needed to find the Robin Hood.