How Do You Defeat a Giant Tsundere?!

Everything happened too quickly for anyone to notice. The giant Hanako slipped on something on her way to squishing Sachiko. Neither Shōko nor Sachiko could be found after Hanako landed very roughly in the warehouse district. Aichi and I heard the two of them screaming past us, but we could not find them.

“Oh, I think I know what we missed,” Aichi said quietly.

“Don't tell me it has to do with Hollow contract law,” I told Aichi.

“Yeah…” Aichi admitted. “Rule #4 ~woof. A contract between a human and a Hollow only goes into effect once the human has saved the Hollow from imminent danger.”

“Your species has some very stupid rules,” I told Aichi. “Also, is that why you were playing in traffic when I saved you?!”

“Hey, I didn’t make the rules ~woof,” Aichi insisted.

“Let's just go see if Shōko and Sachiko are okay,” I said. “We can sort out this contract nonsense later.”

Having assumed they traveled in a straight line, Aichi and I hoped to find them at the end of the road. It took a bit of searching, but we did eventually find them inside a red bubble that was partially embedded inside the local Prefecture Office. Shōko was unhappy with what happened, while Sachiko looked like she had the time of her life. Wow, that sure sounded familiar…

“Let's do that again, ~bo peep!” Sachiko finally spoke in a language that I understood.

“You can talk?!” I asked the little lamb.

“Of course, I can talk ~bo peep!” Sachiko seemed offended by the suggestion that I wasn't able to understand her. “I thought magical girls could always understand us.”

“It was the fact that the contract hadn't been finalized, ~woof,” Aichi explained. “Regardless, it's good to have you on the team ~woof.”

“Alright! Let's try that again, ~bo peep!” Sachiko told Shōko.

“Sachiko, let's shine!” Shōko shouted. “Flower Power! Rise Up, pretty pretty please!”

Shōko's transformation was very different from either mine or Sayori's. Sachiko flew in a complete loop, forming the sakura sigil. Shōko ran through the sigil, instantly giving her a bright orange kimono with the sakura sigil and a little lamb embroidered on it and a green hakama. She then clapped her hands twice, and a giant pink bow appeared on her kimono. Instead of a staff or a yo-yo, Shōko was given a giant hammer to use as a weapon.

“Oh, this is so adorable!” Shōko cried out. “Do I get a cute hero name like Ayame, too?”

Not once had I ever considered being called a Magical Intern to be cute. But that's how I always introduced myself, so other people were bound to consider it cute at some point.

“Of course ~bo peep!” Sachiko answered. “Hmm… you look like a… Magical Princess… Sakura ~bo peep!”

Wonderful… Shōko would often be called a princess at school due to how popular and talented she was. Now she got to be called a princess while doing magical girl things, too.

Shōko squealed with glee at the sound of the name. But before she could even attempt an introduction, the giant Hanako had picked herself up from the ground and began her hunt once again.

“Fine!” Hanako shouted. “Be like that! But I'll find you one way or another, you idiot!”

“She must really like this Yuji kid,” Shōko observed.

“There's gotta be a way we can reverse the-” I began to say before she started throwing cars around like they were toys. “And she's treating the city like her playhouse.”

“Didn't you say you knew how to defeat the giant monsters?” Shōko asked.

“We thought the key was strong emotions,” I explained. “But that doesn't always work.”

“If I may interject ~woof,” Aichi said, “but what if it has to be certain emotions?”

“Well…” I thought about it for a while. The rose monster was defeated by getting kicked really hard. The giant kitten was defeated by giving it a giant ball of yarn. The giant fluffball was defeated by getting wet. The giant publisher was defeated by sadness. The giant octopus monster was defeated by knocking out a home run. The giant cannon was (I assumed) defeated by singing.

Nothing really connected them together. Strong emotions couldn't have been the way to win. All these cases seemed all too random.

Random…

“Everyone!” I shouted. “I got an idea!”

“~woof, what is it?” Aichi asked.

I performed my “Brave Charm!!” dance, allowing me to summon a folded piece of paper. I was catching on to the nature of these monsters now.

They were all completely random, and it made sense that the ways to defeat them would be equally random.

I opened the note, which had an address and a boy's school photo printed on it.

“I wonder if this address is important…” I said.

“Where is it?” Shōko asked. “Hold on.”

A Maya Packhorse had been flung in our direction. Shōko took this as an opportunity to demonstrate her new magical abilities. Judging from the absurd size of the hammer she wielded, which was almost as tall as she was and had a head that was three times wider than her, she must have had magical strength. Shōko whacked the truck away like it was nothing, sending it flying into the ocean.

“Looks like it's in the Shinjo District,” I told her. I then turned to Aichi and said to him, "You're pretty good at finding people. Can you go to this address and see if Yuji Ogawa is home?”

“~woof! I'm on it!” Aichi said before he immediately darted off.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Shōko asked.

“We gotta stop her from destroying the city,” I told her. “And the perfect first spell for you to learn is Pulse Field!”

And so we did just that. The three of us: Shōko, Sachiko, and I cast the Pulse Field spell at the same time, creating a giant barrier between Hanako and the core of the city. Hanako was not pleased to see us.

“Stupid fairies!” Hanako screamed. “What is your problem?!”

“You're twenty meters tall and destroying the city looking for a boy,” I answered. “That's a really big problem!”

“Whatever…” Hanako stormed off looking for a way around the barrier.

Aichi then quickly ran up to us. It didn't take long for him to realize the address I gave him didn't work.

“Wrong house, ~woof,” Aichi said.

“You're kidding!” I said in shock. “Now what?!”

“Let me try!” Shōko told me. She then performed the Brave Charm dance, but instead of saying “Brave Charm!!” she said, “Sakura Melody!!” Sweet romantic music, an entire string suite and all, began playing out of nowhere. “That's not the spell that I cast!”

“Yeah, that happened to me once,” I told Shōko. “Sometimes magic has a mind of its own. But it's working!”

The giant Hanako stopped her game to admire the beauty of the music playing.

“Is that the Holberg Suite?!” Hanako said, tears welling in her eyes. Hanako knew her classical music. She started shrinking, but she was still over fifteen meters tall.

“Ayame ~woof! Try another Brave Charm!” Aichi shouted.

I then performed the “Brave Charm!!” dance, which summoned none other than Yuji Ogawa to us. Yuji was a very average-looking fourteen year old boy, a perfect target for a tsundere love interest.

“What the?! Where am I?” Yuji asked us. “Who are you?! What is that awful music?”

We pointed him in the direction of the slowly shrinking Hanako, still enamored by what Yuji described as awful music.

“Do I really have to talk to her?” Yuji asked. “She seems… mean…”

“She's been looking for you specifically,” I answered. “She wanted to say something important.”

“Oh dear…” Yuji seemed to realize what was happening. “Tokura! Hanako! Over here!”

Hanako immediately turned around at the sound of Yuji's voice.

“Yuji…?!”

The sight of her crush caused her to shrink down to normal size immediately, leaving a shower of dark energy in her wake. Plenty of magic food for Aichi and Sachiko to enjoy.

•

“You… You like me?!” Yuji said in a weird mixture of shock, horror, and relief.

“Don't say that too loudly, you idiot!” Hanako shouted fearfully. “I have a reputation to uphold here!”

“You're fourteen years old,” I told her. “You shouldn't have a reputation.”

“If word of this gets out…” Hanako warned us. What could she have done against four magic users? “I'll be ruined! They don't call me the Ice Princess for nothing!”

Yuji took a hold of her hands. “Don't worry about it,” he told her. “It'll be our little secret.”

Hanako smiled. Then Yuji smiled. They then went off, presumably to her house, but it could have been his house, hand in hand.

“Remember,” Hanako told Yuji, “when we're in school, I don't like you.”

“And if you accidentally slip up, just say Ugh! It's not like I like you or anything! or something like that,” Yuji told her.