Off script

“Gah!”

Right as Tamashi managed to get to his feet, the goblin leader was already upon him, landing a clean punch to his stomach. The air was knocked out of his lungs, and he flew back a dozen meters, coughing blood while struggling to breathe.

Gasping for air, Tamashi lifted his head, only to find the goblin leader’s monstrous green fist right before his face.

Fuck—

Then, after a brief moment of feeling his nose break and the overall anguish, he promptly blacked out.

***

“Mom! Brother! He’s waking up!”

Tamashi’s eyelids were heavy, and his whole head felt like a mountain of solid steel that was somehow melting at the same time. As he slowly woke up, the first thing that met his eyes was the face of a beautiful young girl, looking at him from above with the sweetest smile in the whole world. Tamashi looked at her for a second, then just sighed.

“You know, I never imagined the first woman to give me her thighs as a pillow would be not my future wife, but my skinny little sister instead.”

“Huh?!” gasped Mika, quite frustrated. “How dare you insult your perfect little sister. And who would want to be your wife anyways? Hmph!”

She stood up and trotted away with angry steps, while Tamashi’s head fell onto the hard soil.

“Ouch! Okay, that was mean, sorry,” he said with the slightest hint of sarcasm in his tone.

Then, a tall, strong, buff, and handsome young man stood over him, looking at him with half pity and half ridicule.

“Sup, bro. How you doing down there?”

“Go to hell,” retorted Tamashi, at which Kengo joked back.

“Looks like you’re already there, and it seems a bit too rough for my liking.”

Despite his mockery, he offered Tamashi a hand, helping his older brother stand up. Since Tamashi was still a bit disoriented, Kengo let him hold onto him while Tamashi looked around.

Everything looked pretty much the same: a hilly meadow with a few deciduous trees here and there, and the occasional corpse of a dead goblin. There was one difference, however.

About a hundred meters away, a rather large chunk of ice was sitting on the grass, completely out of place.

Only then did Tamashi’s mind clear up, and he finally remembered what had happened to him.

“Is that...?”

“The goblin leader,” Kengo finished his sentence. “After you got knocked out, it wanted to finish you off, but I managed to get to you in time. Only, instead of a cool heroic save, the goblin threw me over its shoulder like a rag doll, then proceeded to kick my stomach in with his foot. Let me tell you, it was not at all pleasant.”

Kengo glanced at his brother, then let out a weak laugh.

“Well, I guess I don’t have to tell you, huh?”

Tamashi snorted playfully, and Kengo continued.

“Well, not much happened after that. Before the goblin leader could do anything else, Awayuki stepped in—well, rather flew in—and saved the day.”

“Nice one,” complimented Tamashi.

“Thanks. Anyway, Awayuki froze the dude in a matter of seconds. There was nothing it could do. Then, for good measure, he also put the leader in a block of ice, because why not, I guess.”

“I see... Where is he, by the way?” Tamashi wondered aloud.

“Awayuki? He just fell asleep after everything. We checked, and he’s still breathing.”

“Right... He must have been exhausted after using so much of his power. Freezing someone that quickly isn’t easy, and he’s still only level one.”

“Tamashi! You’re awake! How are you feeling? Does it still hurt? Of course it does, just look at you.”

They walked over to Himawari, who was now looking Tamashi over with pained, worried eyes.

“Wow, pretty harsh, Mom,” teased Kengo.

Himawari completely ignored him, though, and started shoving onigiri—which she had most likely purchased in the System store—into Tamashi’s mouth. He didn’t resist in any way, indeed feeling quite starved.

***

“By the way, Tamashi, can I ask a question?” Kengo asked during their lunch.

The whole family—this time excluding Awayuki, who was still sleeping, currently in Tamashi’s pocket—was eating a hard-earned meal after their tough battle.

Deciding to treat himself—and everyone else—a little, Tamashi bought some barbecue, so they were all enjoying top-notch beef with roasted vegetables, with either barbecue or chili sauce.

Tamashi swallowed a piece of high-meat-percentage sausage and washed it down with some cold sparkling water before answering.

“Yeah?”

“I just thought of something. Since the dungeons look like this, isn’t it technically possible to just get enough supplies and live here forever? Y’know, since no one else can enter while another party is inside, and once you kill all the monsters, there’s really not anything dangerous.”

Tamashi stared at his younger brother for a couple of seconds, dumbfounded.

How the hell had I not thought of this before?!

After clearing his throat, Tamashi replied, trying to keep the embarrassment in his voice hidden.

“Well, the main issue is that once you kill all the monsters, you have zero income. Sure, you could bring your own stuff, but not all dungeons are as nice-looking as this one. For example, since it doesn’t rain in this dungeon, your crops would eventually die out, and you would starve. Well, you would die of thirst long before that, since the dungeon only lets you carry in so much stuff.”

After pausing for a few moments, he added:

“Well, it’s not a bad idea to use a dungeon as a hideout in case of emergency for some time. But you still have to get lucky with where you end up, since it could be a literal volcano...”

Tamashi’s family listened to him silently, with interest, as he told them stories about the various dungeons he had visited in the past. Then, the conversation went in a more casual direction for a while, before Awayuki finally woke up.

“Cheep?” (Tamashi?)

“Oh, Awayuki. You’re awake. How are you feeling? Had enough rest?”

“Cheep.” (I should be the one asking you that instead.)

“Ah...” Tamashi scratched the back of his head awkwardly, and Awayuki continued. This time with a hint—a rather big and obvious one—of irritation.

“Cheep!” (Did you perhaps forget that if you perish, you will also take me with you? It has not even been a week. Please do try to be more careful next time.)

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Tamashi apologized. “I got too careless. Thanks for helping out in time.”

“Cheep!” (No thanks are needed. I do suppose you would have done the same for me.)

“Still, thank you. Now,” Tamashi stood up and stretched, “do you think you could find the loot chest? After today, I’ll need a good night's rest in my own bed.”

“Cheep...” (Unbelievable...)

Despite the whining, Awayuki did as he was told, ascending into the air and flying away to take a look around.

Meanwhile, the others also got up and started packing up, since they were finally about to go home.

However...

Cheep! Tamashi, this is rather bizarre. Are you certain that every enemy has been disposed of?

Yeah, I checked after I woke up. Why, is there something wrong?

It took a while before Awayuki responded, and when he did, Tamashi stopped what he was doing and froze, praying he had heard him wrong.

Well, this will be rather difficult to hear, but... it seems the loot chest has not spawned.