Chapter 16:

My Crazy First Kiss

My Crazy American Father


Tobias 1213 August 17, 2046

“And she said ‘I was thinking the same thing’ and we walked to the station together,” Sora said, finishing his retelling of yesterday’s events. After his recent fiasco with Suki-san, he and I were eating lunch together in the classroom.

“That’s nice, so did you kiss her after that or what?” I ask, taking a bite of my sandwich. Instead of a response, I hear the clattering of his chopsticks as he smacks his forehead.

“I totally should’ve!” he says with a flabbergasted look on his face. “Now that I think about it, that would’ve been the perfect opportunity for our first kiss.” He sets his head on the desk and mops a bit. “I’m the dumbest man on the planet.”

“Glad you’ve finally figured that out, so are you gonna do something to fix your mistake or what?” I ask, unamused by his dramatics.

“What should I do?” he asks.

“Go on a date and kiss her, obviously,” I answer assuredly.

“It’s not that simple.”

“It really is.” I pull out my phone and begin to look up movies playing the next day. I stop when I see a romance film with a good review. “Here,” I say, showing him the movie. “Ask her to go on a date tomorrow, take her to this movie, and kiss her during the climax.” I drop my phone and make snapping finger guns. “Batta-bing Batta-boom first kiss you’ll never forget.” He looks at me in disbelief at my confidence.

“There’s no way it’s that easy.”

“Yes, it is. I’ve been reading many a teen magazine, among other things, so I can help you and Suki-san get your relationship rock solid. The sooner your relationship is sailing in a calm Caribbean sea, the sooner you help me move on Niǎo-san.” He looks at me, still unconvinced. “Ahh, look, the park’s near the theater. If it makes you feel better, I’ll scope it out today so that if you’re too chicken to kiss her during the movie, you can do it as the sun sets in the park. And if somehow even that doesn’t work, I can always resort to walking up and mushing your faces together.”

“The park should be enough,” he says with less confidence than I’d have hoped.

“I’d hope so; I’d hate to have to be at your wedding as anything other than your best man.” I laugh at my joke. “Send her a text now. Asking after school would be a bit last minute, so best to ask now.” I say, resuming my lunch.

Sara 1215 August 17, 2046

“Why didn’t you kiss?” I ask Iori-chan as she finishes her story.

“That’s what I’m saying,” she replies. “He had come running, I was tearing up, out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw the setting sun making a heart out of our shadows somehow-”

“That part was probably just your imagination,” Kano-chan interrupts

“-It was perfect, and he just held my hand. We did that at the festival 5 mins after he did the fireworks,” she says, resting her head on the table, defeated. “Are all boys this hesitant, or is it just him?”

“I think it’s just him,” Murakami-senpai says, chiming in. “Why if Alice-chan hadn’t stopped me, I’d of-” He’s cut off by Alice-senpai showing a fork full of “poutine,” as she called it into his mouth before interrupting.

“Eaten too much of my cooking and gotten a stomach ache,” she says with her trademark goofy smile. Murakami-senpai chews the food before speaking again.

“How are we so in sync that you can always finish my sentences?” he asks, smiling pleasantly at Alie-senpai.

“Well, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because you have a one-track mind, so it’s never hard to guess what you’re thinking,” she says pleasantly. They both snicker at each other with laughter.

“I truly envy the ability to know what someone else is thinking,” Kano-chan says as she eats her lunch. “But it would seem that the solution to your problem is rather simple, Iori-chan.”

“It is?” Iori-chan asks, “Well, tell me! Tell me!”

“If you want Tetsu-kun to kiss you, wouldn’t it be easiest to simply ask him to do so?”

“NOOOOOOOO!” Iori-chan cries as she holds her head and leans back. “I can’t do that; it’ll make me seem like a- woo ahh,” she yells as she leans back and falls in her chair, leaving her legs hanging in the air.

“Are you ok?” I ask, hurrying to help her up.

“Hmm, I don’t think that color suits you,” Kano-chan says as she looks down.

“Alice-chan, why did you take my glasses?”

“You know exactly why” Murakami-senpai and Alice-senpai bicker as I help Iori-chan up.

“I’m fine. But I can’t just say that. We just got over spending too much time together, so If I suddenly say that to him, it’ll be like I’m sending mixed signals, and I don’t want that.”Iori-chan says

“Well, that’ll be a problem,” I say. “Both Tobias-kun and my brother are bad at taking hints, so you’ll have to be very obvious with dropping your hints.”

“Well, how do I do that?” Iori-chan asks. Her phone vibrates, and she looks at it. “Oh, it’s Sora-kun…. He says he wants to go on a movie date tomorrow.”

“This is your chance,” I say. “Say yes and on the date and at the movie make it easy for him to do and clear that you want it.”

“Wah. But how do I do that?” she asks.

“Just cling to him any chance you get and keep your eyes closed at scary parts.”

“But what if I actually get scared?” Iori-chan asks.

“If you want, I can go with you. I’ll even scout out the park nearby in case he’s too hesitant to do it in a crowded theater.”

“But wouldn’t it be hard to kiss someone while your sister is there?”

“Sora has a bunch of costume-type stuff in his room. I can just borrow some of that and go in disguise,” I say. “Kano-chan, would you be willing to come to help her too?” Kano-chan thinks for a moment before speaking.

“I doubt my parents would allow me to go on a date with a boy. But if I go to study with Sara-chan while her brother is out of the house, that should be fine.”

“Ok, but how does that help Iori-chan?” I ask

“Oh, you misunderstand. I will use deception, as I’ve seen in the manga you lent me. When I say ‘study,’ I did not say we shall be studying the dating customs of the Japanese.” She looks around to see what everyone thinks of it. “That is not the reaction I expected. Is this not part of the ‘teenage rebellion’ I’ve seen in the American movies?”

“No, that’s a prime example,” I say, staring at her confused. “We just didn’t think we’d ever see it from Ms.Obey-The-Parents.”

“The manga you lend me has rubbed off. Now I too wish to ‘taste the forbidden fruit’ as they say in the manga,” she says with serious eyes.

“Maybe you should cut down on the manga for a while,” Iori-chan observes.

“What? But I still have yet to try the ‘Kamehameha’ of fame and to use the ‘shadow clones’ to finish my chores in record time.” she says, confused.

Sara 1853 August 17, 2046

I should’ve worn my ponytail. I think as the cool evening breeze blows through my hair. I’d decided not to tie up my hair for scouting out the park, but I didn’t think the wind would be blowing this hard. I walk through the park, and I can’t help but feel a kind of nostalgia towards it. Sora, Tobias-kun, and I had spent many a day running around and playing in this park. I look over at the playground and see the three of us running around playing tag, I look to the swing and see Sora and Tobias-kun arguing over who got the second swing, and I look to the river and see the three of us being scolded by a policeman after he caught us splashing in there. I’m so lost in my daydreams that I don’t watch where I’m going and end up bumping into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say

“Hey, watch where yo- oh hey there, pretty thing,” the man says with a creepy smile crossing his face. The sun shines off his sunglasses and slicked-back hair as he leers at me. Not good, getaway. I think

“Sorry, I’ll pay better attention next time,” I say, trying to leave, but he sidesteps to block my path.

“Woah, woah, woah, no need to hit and run, babe, I was just thinking that it’d be nice to grab a snow cone. Why don’t you join me?”

“Uhh, no, I really need to be getting home now. My parents will be upset if I’m late.”

“Ahh, I’m sure they won’t mind,” he says, reaching out to grab m hand. He’s about to make contact with me when I hear a voice call my name.

“SARA-CHAN” a voice calls. I look over, and Tobias-kun is rushing towards me. A wave of euphoria rushes over me as I see him. He’s coming to save me, I think as he approaches.”There you are, I’ve been looking for you,” he says. The man takes a step back as he looks Tobias-kun up and down.

“Who are you, her boyfriend or something?” he asks in a harsh, grating tone. He thinks we’re a couple! We look like a couple! My cheeks get warm as Tobias-kun pulls me next to him. He’s going along with it! How far will he take it? My cheeks go red as I await his response.

“No, no, I’m her brother,” Tobias-kun says confidently. “She wasn’t giving you any trouble, was she? She likes to sneak off and do dumb stuff, really gives dad a headach, especily on thursdays when he teaches his judo class.” Brother?! I think as a wave of disapointment washes over me. Why did he correct him? Why would he just use another lie? It’s not like this guy was gonna give us any more trouble since you’re taller than him. I’m so focused on my pessimistic thoughts that I don't even notice the man slink away.

“Are you okay?” he asks breaking me away from my train of thought.

“Wha- oh yeah, I’m fine” I say

“Good, glad I happened to be here,” he says cheekely

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“A thank you might’ve been nice,” he says. Even though he’s right, I can’t manage it. Somehting about him denying the chance to act like my boyfreind miffed me a bit and I was not gonna thank him for that.

“I had everything under control. I didn’t need your help at all,” I say, acting confident.

“Spoken like someone who had absolutely no control over the situation and needed a knight in shining armor to come save her.”

“I’d hardly call jeans and a t-shirt shining armor.” He laughs conceding the point before speaking again.

“So what are you doing here all by yourself?” he asks.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I say.

“True, true, “he says, nodding. “well, I’m here for a date,” he says casually. A DATE?! It takes all my willpower not to scream, cry, and run all at once. Tobias-kun is on a date? With who? Did I wait too long to act? But he was looking at me so intensely just a week ago? Who is this woman that stole my Tobias-kun away from me? When I find her, I’ll-

“Well, not a date for me. I told Sora I’d scope the place out. Look for good places he can try for his first kiss with Suki-san.” My easement is immeasurable as I hear him speak. Oh, thank God in heaven, I think. He’s just helping Sora out. I almost lost my cool there. I smack my cheeks, take a deep breath, and muster up my courage before walking up beside him.

“What a coincidence; I was doing the same thing for Iori-chan. What do you say we continue together?” I ask in my girly voice.

“Yeah, that’d actually be great; I should’ve asked you to come with me from the beginning,” He says excitedly. What? Could it be he’s excited to walk through the park with me? I think. “You’re a lot closer to Suki-san than I am, and it’d be nice to get a girl’s opinion on some things,” he says in his perfectly analytical voice. Oh, he just wanted a girl’s input on things. Well, that’s okay. I still get to walk around the park with him, and if I’m smart about it-. I cling onto his arm and lean on him. I might just be able to get him to make a move. I think

“Uhh, Sara, What are you doing?” he asks.

“Well, if we’re going to be looking for good spots for a romantic date, wouldn’t acting like we’re on a date help put us in the right mindset?” I ask.

“Ohh, that’s actually an excellent idea. I’m jealous I didn’t think of it.” He says.

“Well, should we begin to walk from the beginning so we can compare our thoughts on the spots we’ve already passed?” I ask

“I was just about to suggest that,” he says in agreement, and we restart our walk through the park. We pass by the flowers, throw a coin into the fountain, make a wish, and even get snow cones from a street cart. By the end of the walk, we find no fewer than four spots that would be ideal for a first kiss. I try to set the right mood during the whole ordeal, but he’s taking none of the bait. Just how dense is this boy? At this rate, I could straight up confess, and he still might not get it. I think, feeling frustrated. That’s it, one more shot.

“So, do you think they’ll be able to have a nice first kiss?” I ask as we make our way back home.

“With how long we’ve been out here scouting the place, they’d better,” he says confidently. “I really have to thank you for doing this with Sara-chan. Most girls would be opposed to simulating a date to help their brother find a good spot for his first kiss.”

“Oh, I’m not just doing it for Sora; I’m doing it for Iori-chan as well. But tell me has it made you think about how you’d like to have your first kiss?” He stops dead in his tracks on the bridge and thinks for a moment before speaking.

“Honestly, I’ve never given much thought to it. I’ve always thought that I’d know when the right time was and go from there. To be frank, I know it’ll be special for me, no matter if it's in a romantic park like this or because I fell down the stairs like in a dumb manga. I’d be more concerned with making it special for her because it's more important to share it with someone I love.” I stand a look at him, stunned. He’s so dense. How can he say that to a girl so calmly? Does he have no idea how I feel? No, I have to make sure. I think.

"That's nice, a lot different from your father. He’d probably just say to go for it full send the American way." Tobias groans and places his hand over his face.

“Oh man, he totally would. But that’d never work for me. I don’t have the confidence or lack of self-awareness, I should say, to pull something like that off. No way it’d work for me.”

"Oh, I'm sure there's a girl who'd love nothing more than to have a strong American man look in her eyes, hold her close, and kiss her in the heat of the moment. Maybe one you’ve been staring at for a while now.” I say in a teasing voice to try and hide my embarrassment. He takes his hand from his face and looks at me intensely with his severe, deliberate eyes. I’m shaken as he’s never looked at me like that.

“You mean you noticed?” he asks me dead serious.

“Well, of course, I noticed. I sit right next to you, dummy.”

“And you’re alright with it?”

“I’m actually kind of glad, to be honest. I’ve be-” I’m cut off by him embracing me in a tight hug. OH MY GOD, HE’S REALLY DOING IT. I never would’ve imagined he’d be so sudden. Well, I did just say the heat of the moment. He relaxes his arms and pushes me away, creating a small gap between us—just enough for him to look me in the eyes. Oh God, here it comes, I think as I jostle my thoughts together. He says something, but my heartbeat is so loud that I can’t hear what he says.

“What?” I ask, wanting to know what he says before we kiss.

“I said thank you, I’ll keep that in mind for the future,” he says, patting me on the head. What? For the future? Why not now? We’re standing alone on a bridge in the orange light of the setting sun. For the love of God, why can’t you do it now? What are you thinking, Tobias-kun?

Tobias 1941 August 10, 2046

“I said thank you, I’ll keep that in mind for the future,” I say, patting Sara-chan on her head. Her cheeks are all red, so I must’ve scared her. I need to be more careful with girls, I think. I didn’t expect her to know about my crush on Niǎo but knowing she supports me is all I need. So Niǎo is a fan of the bold American type? Good to know. I’ll have to be more confident around her then. I think as I begin to walk away. “Come on, Sara-chan. It’s getting late. Wouldn’t want our parents thinking we were on an actual date now, would we?” I say, giggling to myself. I turn and see she’s still standing there motionless like a statue. She’s looking at her shoes, and I swear I can see steam pouring out her ears. “Uhh, you ok, Sara-chan?” I ask a bit nervously.

“You…..” I hear her say under her breath.

‘What?” I ask, struggling to hear her.

“You… You….DUMMMMMY!” she screams as she charges me and pushes me over the railing. “AAAHH.” I plummet into the river below screaming. It’s only an 8-foot drop, but the water’s deep enough, so I’m more shocked than hurt. I look up and see her running off in the direction of home. “I was talking about the fishes.” I think I hear her scream as she runs, but I’m not sure. I didn’t think I frightened her that much I think, as I climb out of the river and head home. Girls are weird