15 — Sorry, Mom. Your Son Became a Terrorist (09)

"Let go of me! Where do you think you're taking me? Put me down!"

"Ugh, stop hitting me, Minami-san. I'm not letting you go until we reach the hospital."

"What hospital?! Turn around, now!"

"No way. I'm not going back even if you pay me a million ie— aaagh!"

Feeling Minami-san's teeth almost rip into my back, I dropped her onto a bench in the park.

"What the hell was that?! Why did you bite me?!"

"Hmph. That's what you get for being cocky. Who gave you permission to carry me like that, deserter!? And how dare you abandon the mission?!"

"Deserter? Can't you see I did it to save us?"

"I didn't ask you to do that. Who do you think you are interfering in my life? Don't pretend you care about me. I'm not going to fall for you!"

Huh?

What's wrong with this girl?

Does she think I'm trying to seduce her?

"Looks like the symptoms are worse than I thought. Must be the smoke. The poor thing's delirious. Come on, the hospital isn't far. If we hurry, the doctor can check your head too."

"Get your hand off me! I don't want a hospital!"

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

"I need to go back and warn the others. Unlike you, I have a sense of duty, and I'm going to… follow even if it… costs… me my…"

"Minami-san!"

Although I shouted, I couldn't stop her from collapsing to the ground. My legs were weak from running so much, and even though she wasn't exactly heavy, carrying someone on my shoulders for so long wasn't easy.

"Ah, seriously."

I lifted Minami-san and put her back on the bench. This time I used the moment to rest a little too. If I kept running I'd probably have a heart attack before the terrorists killed me.

Ah… again.

I couldn't stop sighing.

I'd tried convincing myself I didn't want regrets, but honestly, regret was the very first thing that hit me the moment I sat down.

Adrenaline masked it earlier, but now my legs hurt. My calves were killing me, and I could list at least a dozen muscles cramped up without thinking.

For the first time in my life I understood what my father meant about exercising regularly to avoid a sedentary lifestyle.

I was wrecked, in every possible sense.

I stretched and took a deep breath.

I needed a mental reset.

Aside from escaping the battlefield, the only solid plan I'd had was to get to a hospital, but now that we were so close, I wondered if it was actually a smart idea.

Showing up with Minami-san dressed like that would raise far more suspicion than I could explain with a simple 'she fell down some stairs.' The chances of being detained by medics were high, not to mention how that crazy girl would react when she woke up. I couldn't assume anything, but my gut said it wouldn't be pleasant.

Still, even if I'm no model of 'smart choices in risky situations,' I couldn't just leave her alone.

Maybe taking her home and tending to her there would be better…

"..."

Hm... no.

Definitely not.

I was too tired, and I didn't have half the things needed to treat her. Also, after abandoning the mission, the last thing I wanted was to go somewhere predictable like my place.

But staying on this bench swinging my legs felt just as stupid, which, undeniably, brought me back to square one.

Why did everything have to be so hard?

"Ah… maybe I should just turn myself in to the police. That'd be the least stressful option."

Lost in thought, I felt Minami-san stir against my shoulder.

"Hmmmk… Kobami…"

"Oh, Minami-san, you woke up at the right time. I'm not gonna lie, I don't have the strength to carry you anymore. You'll have to use your own legs to get to the hospital."

"..."

Her face was still scowling, but she seemed calmer than before (or at least less likely to bite me.)

"What did you do while I was out?"

"Huh? What do you mean? I didn't do anything. And how did you reach that conclusion out of nowhere?"

"I don't see how else you'd be worried about covering the evidence of your crime."

"The evidence of my…? Oi! I gave you my jacket because… uh… it was cold and you had so much skin exposed. I didn't notice your magic didn't restore clothes!"

In my defense, even if I wanted to, there was no way I'd have time to worry about that in the middle of all that chaos.

"Your answer sounds suspicious."

"J-just for you. I thought it was plausible."

"Fine. Where are we?"

"Don't you remember? I brought you here to get treated."

My words must have sounded as harsh as stepping on someone's foot, because Minami-san's face puckered like a sour lemon.

"Why do you keep insisting on that? What's wrong with you?"

"I ask you the same. When we're injured, we go to a hospital. What's wrong with seeking treatment?"

How can someone be so stubborn? I don't like doctors either, but I know we need them.

She sighed. "I don't know why I keep wasting my time listening to someone like you."

"Hey, where are you going, Minami-san? Are you really going to throw your life away like this?"

"What I do with my life is my problem. Besides… I don't care if I die."

W-what?

She doesn't care about dying?

Just like that?

After everything we went through to survive the attack, after all I've been through since I lied to Ichika-san, she says that like it's nothing?

Is that for real?

"Aah, so that's it, Minami-san. You don't care about dying. Now I get it."

I clicked my tongue.

She, who had been walking away from the bench, stopped when she heard my mutter.

"Huh? What? Why did you stop?"

"You… why the change in tone? Are you mocking me?"

"Change? There's no change. I just stopped caring. If you think your life's worth so little you'll waste it, go ahead. I won't stop you."

"Stopped? Just so you know, Kobami Haruki, reverse psychology doesn't work on me."

"If that's how you want to see it, fine. I honestly don't care if you head there. We hardly know each other, owe each other nothing. Do what you want."

"I… I expected nothing less from a deserter."

"Call me what you want. I won't go along with your madness or force anyone to do something they don't want. We're free to choose. I have no right to stop you. But… I think it's a bit late for that."

Somehow I'd caught her attention.

"What do you mean?"

"Given the time since we left the institute, I doubt anyone's still there."

"T-time…? How long was I out?"

"No idea. I didn't time it. Running back would take about thirty minutes, plus the time you were out. Whatever happened's almost certainly over by now."

"..."

She was quiet for a few minutes, and before I knew it we were sitting side by side on the bench.

"Minami-san?"

"If you're so smart, tell me: what do you suggest I do?"

Her voice was low.

We were close, but I could barely hear her.

Or maybe… I'd heard her from the very beginning and just pretended I didn't understand.

What could I say? I didn't expect this from her.

"How should I know?"

I think I really was exhausted. I didn't even have the energy to come up with a decent reply; if such a reply even existed.

I wanted to stop her from going back into that hell and understand how someone her age could decide her own life didn't matter… but in the end, what did I actually know about her?

What right did I have to tell her anything?

"I really don't know, Minami-san."

"Then why pretend you care? Do you really think you'll get anything out of it?"

"There you go again. Look, I don't know how to convince you. I'm just following my instincts. I don't want to see someone die in front of me if there's something I can do to stop it. But like you said, I don't know your goals. I can't weigh how important this mission is to you and the others."

"Tch. You're just an idiot."

"Maybe. But even as an idiot, I know I don't need to know your objectives to realize you don't actually want to die."

"Huh?"

"Don't put on that face. I know deep down you want me to stop you. Why else would you have come back?"

"H–How delusional can you be? You think I want you to stop me? Where did you get that from? No. Even if you're right, what makes you think I'd ever expect anything from you?"

"Then why?"

"Why what?!"

"Why did you come back?"

"I just wanted to ask that… I…"

"You know I was right. You know it's already too late to try to get there. Regardless of the outcome, the mission's over. Even if you made it, there's no guarantee you'd beat another mage like that with almost no mana left. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, but we were lucky to survive. I won't waste that chance, and you shouldn't either."

I stood up.

"Anyway… whatever. I'm not saying you have to listen to me or anything like that. It's just… death is the end of everything. Don't say you don't care about dying like it's nothing."

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"I'll go get something warm to drink. I'm freezing. Oh— and you can leave if you want, but if you're still here when I get back, I'll bring you a drink too."

Minami-san lowered her head and went silent. So I headed to the other side of the park to get something to warm us up.

Saying it like that makes it sound like I walked off with style, but halfway there I could barely keep myself upright.

I'd stood up so fast that every muscle in my body screamed at once, and if I hadn't forced myself to leave looking all composed, I would've turned right back to rest a little longer—which would've made my whole speech sound ridiculous.

Well…

Either way, I ended up lying to her.

Or maybe lying to myself.

It might've been true before, but after today, I couldn't pretend we didn't owe each other anything. If not for her, I'd probably be dead... or at best, partially melted.

Maybe it sounded ungrateful, but even though I was thankful, I couldn't imagine saying it out loud. So the best I could think of was to repay her with a warm drink.

Hah.

At this point it shouldn't surprise me, but I really couldn't see through that girl.

After everything that had happened, there was no logical reason for her to heal me. It was obvious that reconstructing both our bodies at the same time was the reason she was worse off than she should've been, and also why she fainted so much.

And still… her unique magic was impressive.

Unique magic, huh?

Even if she hadn't done that, I still wouldn't have been able to abandon her, and now, because of that, I was starting to question how valid my own principles actually were.

In the end, I really wished I could be someone with no sense of responsibility, the way she thought I was… but unfortunately, I was a very different kind of person:

A complete idiot.

"Damn it, I forgot to ask if she even likes coffee— Hm? Wait!"

The moment I reached the vending machine, something hit me.

"Hey! Where's my phone? No! my jacket!!!"

After realizing my phone was missing and noticing yet another one of my screw-ups, I sprinted back toward the bench. The pain was still brutal, but I had to push through it. If I was fast enough, maybe Minami-san wouldn't notice what I'd left in the pockets of that jacket.

I'll admit, after that whole speech, I was stupidly confident she'd be waiting for me to come back.

But, as usual…

I was wrong.

Even after everything…

Minami-san was gone.