Slime Sprint Showdown

Running track was a perfect metaphor for my life: No matter how hard I tried, I just kept going in circles. As I lined up for my final race of middle school, I expected more of the same. Little did I know, I was about to run off the track into a new life of adventure.

It was a chilly October afternoon, and I was running the 1500-meter. As usual, I spent most of the race in the middle of the pack, but as we entered the final turn, the other runners slowed. I found myself in second place. Was this my chance? Even though this was my final race, I wanted to win. It would be nice to taste victory for once.

A burst of energy flared in my gut, igniting in my belly and quickly spreading through my body. The outside world seemed to fade to white. There was only me and the first-place runner. Our raspy breaths, dull footfalls, and heavy beads of sweat were all that existed in this world.

And then a slime plopped onto the track in front of me.

I always pictured slimes as cute green blobs with goofy smiles. This slime was nothing like that. It was a filthy clump of mud and twigs that stretched and bubbled as it oozed across the field. Most importantly, it was colored a bright purple that just screamed it was poisonous.

Suddenly, the world snapped back into existence. Surprised gasps and shouts of warning went up from the bleachers. I was too close to stop, moving too fast to turn around. There was no time to think as the slime lunged at me. With no other options, I jumped over it.

Looking back after I landed, I saw the slime sloshing after me faster than any creature without limbs had any business moving. I had no idea what it was doing here, or why it decided to target me, but I wasn’t about to stick around and let it cover me with poisonous goo. With more strength than I thought I had left in me, I picked up the pace.

“This way. I’ll catch it.” Near the finish line, a tall, bronze-skinned orc wearing a blazer waved me over. He didn’t seem to have a container or anything to capture the slime in, but everybody else was running around panicked, and I was headed in his direction anyway. I passed the finish line in first place, not that it mattered anymore, and turned to see him snatch the slime with his bare hand as it jumped at me.

“Hey, it’s pois--” My warning was drowned out by the loud smacking sound the slime made when he threw it at the ground with enough force to splatter it across the track.

A loud voice drowned out the chatter all around us. “Don’t touch poison slimes with your bare hand, idiot.” Evidently, I wasn’t the only one worried about him. From the opposite side of the field, a red-skinned oni woman ran toward us. Immediately, I noticed three things about her: she was roughly twice my height, she was made of pure muscle, and her crop top showed off a large scar running diagonally across her rock-hard abs.

Behind her, a short girl in a school uniform jogged at a leisurely pace. If I were to describe her in one word, it would be blue. Her metal skin was the color of a calm ocean on a bright day, and her hair was as dark as a moonlit night sky. Even her eyes glowed like pale blue flames.

She was a golem. Her body was made of steel and enhanced with modern technology, but it was mana, not electricity, that flowed through her wires.

Many peoples had made their homes in Fukuoka over the last hundred years, but I never thought I’d ever see a golem like her in person. From what I’d heard, they rarely left their realm.

“Don’t worry, coach.” The half-orc held up his hand in front of the oni’s face. “I’m poison-resistant.”

“Resistant doesn’t mean immune. Get a medic to look at it, and next time you pull a stunt like that, throw it hard enough to shatter the core.” She pointed to the slime spread out across the track. The goop at the edges was slowly flowing back toward the center. It was only injured, not dead.

“I threw it as hard as I could,” the orc muttered.

“What was that?” As tall as the orc was, the oni looked down at him with a scowl on her face.

“I’ll work hard, coach,” he said, louder.

The golem chose that moment to interject. “Coach, you can’t hold students to your standards of strength. Furthermore, in human society, it’s inappropriate to call people idiots.”

The coach rubbed her temples with one hand and sighed. “Not again with this. How am I supposed to train future adventurers if I have to coddle them?”

“Maybe you’d be more successful if you tried explaining how to dispatch slimes instead of insulting your students.”

For a moment, the expression on the oni’s face was so wild and intense that I feared she might attack the golem. If the golem felt any fear, she didn’t show it. She stared back at the oni with a defiant expression. Finally, the oni turned to the orc. “Tetsukiba, help me out here. You don’t mind, right? Orcs insult each other all the time.”

The half-orc shrugged. “I wasn’t offended, but Robolina has a point. Not everyone responds well to that kind of behavior, including some orcs. Besides, I’m half human. It isn’t possible to guess how someone will react based on their appearance.”

As he spoke, the coach slumped her shoulders. Despite looking so intimidating, she sure was quick to back down.

Meanwhile, Robolina grabbed Tetsukiba’s hand and turned it over to inspect the palm. “No poison here.”

For whatever reason, this caused the oni to perk back up. “You’re not going to take Ms. Know-it-all’s word for it, are you? Be safe and get a real doctor to look at it.”

“Nothing can escape my optical sensors. However, if you still have doubts, I can biopsy--”

“It’s OK, I trust you.” Tetsukiba pulled his hand back so quickly he nearly ripped Robolina’s arm clear out of its socket.

“Tch.” The coach turned away and clicked her tongue. “I trusted a golem’s eyesight once, and now I’m stuck babysitting you prep school brats.”

“Oh? Is that why you jump down my throat every time I open my mouth? Because of something a different golem did?”

“No, it’s because you act like you’re smarter than everyone else even though you’re fresh off the assembly line.”

“That is not true. I respect your knowledge, and I’m eager to learn from you--once you decide to stop berating us and start teaching us. However, when it comes to living on Earth, I’m your senpai.”

“For all the good that did you. Last time I took your advice, I got pelted with beans.”

Robolina’s mouth hung open as she tried to come up with a response. Tetsukiba stepped in to bring the argument to an end. “OK, enough. You two are gonna scare all the recruits away again.”

The oni snorted. “Yeah, well, not like there’s anyone worth recruiting here. Waste of time, if you ask me.”

Without taking her eyes off her coach, Robolina gestured in my direction. “Actually, I believe he has potential.”

Getting drawn into their argument was the last thing I wanted. Honestly, I had felt super awkward just standing there, but I didn’t feel like I could leave without thanking Tetsukiba. And honestly, I was still curious what a golem was doing here of all places.

“This wimp?!” Before I could say anything, the oni glared down at me. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move. “Fine. Do whatever you want,” she said a few seconds later and stomped away. As she reached the slime, which had nearly finished re-forming, she leaned back and inhaled deeply.

“Coach, don’t,” Robolina called out. “The fire will create a toxic gas.”

Her warning went unheeded as black fire erupted from the oni’s mouth and engulfed the slime. I covered my face with my shirt in a desperate attempt to block the fumes, but as the slime burned away, it didn’t emit any. When the fire disappeared, the track was completely undamaged.

“Oni fire completely burns away any impurity.” The coach smirked as she took in Robolina’s shocked expression. “I don’t need your advice when it comes to monsters, and I sure as hell don’t need your attitude.”

“Point taken,” Robolina said as the coach walked away. She and Tetsukiba then turned to face me.

“Um, thank you for saving me earlier.” I bowed to Tetsukiba then stood up and addressed Robolina. “And thank you for saying I have potential, but I want to try something different in high school.”

Tetsukiba chuckled and held out a meaty hand for me to shake. “Suppose I can’t blame you for turning us down after seeing how spartan our coach is.”

“No, really.” I took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “She was gruff, but I couldn’t help but like her.”

The two older students exchanged glances. “Is that what you call an M?” Robolina asked. “I guess people like that really do exist.”

“I only meant her honesty was refreshing,” I hastened to explain. “If anything, I’m more into cute girls.”

“You mean like me?” Placing her hands behind her back, Robolina leaned closer and flashed a winning smile. I’d be lying if I said she didn’t make my heart beat a little faster. Sure, I knew she was a golem, but she had modest curves in all the right places, and her glowing eyes were large and expressive. But honestly, I had no idea how I was supposed to respond. Admitting I thought a golem was cute might come off as creepy, but what if she got upset if I said she wasn’t?

Luckily, Tetsukiba covered for me. “Knock it off. He’s already seen how you normally act. No use trying to lure him in now.” She elbowed him playfully in the side, but if he noticed, he didn’t show it. “By the way, I didn’t catch your name.”

“I’m Seishin Yamaguchi. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” I bowed to the two of them.

“Yuuto Tetsukiba. Let’s get along.” He bowed slightly. “And this is--What’s your real name again?”

“6BO-L17.”

“Right, that, but everyone calls her Robolina. Listen, I know you said you’re looking for something different, but we’re not recruiting for regular track and field, and we’re not just any old school. How would you like to run in the Dungeon Relay for Blade and Shield Academy?”

“Dungeon Relay? What’s that?”

“It’s a new sport designed to train the next generation of adventurers,” Robolina answered. “There’s going to be an exhibition match in a few minutes. Maybe you’d like to watch with us?”

“Well, I do owe you for saving me,” I said. “Guess it couldn’t hurt.”

⁂

“They’re going to run in that armor?”

By the time we reached the stands, the competitors were getting into position at the starting line on the far side of the track. Three of them were wearing full suits of leather armor, and the other three were wearing colorful robes.

Tetsukiba shrugged. “It’s not as bad as it looks. Besides, professional adventurers march through dungeons in heavier armor for days at a time. For a short sprint, it’ll barely slow you down.”

Perhaps to prevent me from escaping, the two high school students sat on either side of me. Robolina left plenty of room on the bleachers between us, and though it was a blow to my pride that a girl didn’t want to be near me, I couldn’t blame her: I was still covered in sweat and probably smelled quite ripe.

Not that I knew whether golems had a sense of smell. Robolina had what looked like a nose, but she didn’t appear to breathe. Maybe it was just for decoration.

Trying not to dwell on it, I returned my attention to the field, where I noticed something surprising. One of the armored runners had long, braided hair, and one of the robed competitors had theirs tied up in a ponytail. “Is this a co-ed event?”

“Adventuring is a profession open to all,” Robolina answered. “However, if you believe this gives you an advantage, you’re mistaken. There is much more to adventuring than raw strength. It takes cunning, skill, and luck to succeed. The top adventurer in all the realms is a woman.”

“Not since she retired,” Tetsukiba said.

“I have no doubt she will return to reclaim her place, and she’ll keep it until I am old enough to take it from her.”

“Not if I get there first.”

From the smile on his face and his lighthearted tone, I could tell Tetsukiba considered their rivalry a friendly one, but before Robolina could retort, a sharp popping sound from near the track signaled the start of the race.

The competitors ran maybe thirty meters before two more purple slimes appeared on the track, but this time, there was no chaos or confusion. The girl with braids plunged a longsword into one of the slimes, and it vanished in a puff of black smoke. Shortly afterwards, one of the boys in robes shouted “Purify,” and white light shot from his hand, vaporizing the other slime.

“This is a sport where you fight monsters?” All that talk of training adventurers suddenly made sense, but it was still surprising. I hadn’t expected students to be exposed to that kind of danger.

By the time I got over my shock, the competitors had continued along the track, dispatched what looked like living scarecrows, and were now handing their item bags off to runners waiting for them.

“It’s harder than just fighting monsters,” Tetsukiba said. “You also have to protect your items. If your bag gets destroyed, you’re out, and your party is down a member.”

“Party?” I hadn’t realized it because the runners had all stayed close, but now that I looked again, I saw the armored students pull ahead of the robed students. This was a team match, warriors against mages. “But don’t parties typically have a combination of different roles? You’d think a sport for training future adventurers would do the same.”

“Can’t be helped.” Robolina shrugged. “Adventurer schools all specialize in different classes, and it wouldn’t be a sport without competition.”

“Death Hand!” A shout drew my attention to one of the runners, a human with well-groomed black hair, a strong jaw, and rectangular glasses. He looked like a stereotypical student council president, but he was dressed in a black robe with red accents and curved, pointy shoulders, and he was shouting out the cringiest spell names. His hand glowed as if engulfed in purple fire, and he thrust it at a monster resembling a giant wolf with blood dripping from its fur. The beast jumped to the side to dodge his attack, but then seemingly fell into its own shadow. “Darkness Destruction,” he yelled, causing the shadow to snap closed around the monster. I raised a hand to my mouth to stifle a laugh at his appearance.

“What is so funny?” Robolina cocked her head to one side.

“Nothing, it’s just… the chuuni student council president,” I said between chuckles.

Tetsukiba frowned. “It’s not smart to judge people by appearances.”

“I know, I know.” I swallowed hard to collect myself. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect--”

“Pfft. Chuuni student council president.” Now it was Robolina’s turn to giggle uncontrollably. Her laughs were soft and squeaky and so full of joy I couldn’t help but smile. Once again, I was taken completely by surprise. Sure, I may be ignorant when it comes to golems, but I’d heard they were stern and humorless.

Tetsukiba let out a sigh that I’m sure he exaggerated for dramatic effect. “Seriously, Robolina, you shouldn’t call people names, especially not to their faces.”

“I’m not that clueless when it comes to social interactions. Besides, you thought it was funny too.”

“But I didn’t laugh. You, on the other hand, chose to.”

“Is that a crime? Seriously, I’m getting sick of pretending to be a boring puppet just to spare everyone around me the shock of learning that Mechanorians are actual people.”

“Well, maybe if your people visited other realms, or, gods forbid, allowed people to visit Mechanoria, they’d be used to you by now.”

“Hey, you’re preaching to the priestess, literally. Anyway, Sei…” Hold on, Sei? Since when were we on a first-name basis, let alone a nickname basis? “…as much as I hate to admit it, Tetsu-tetsu is right. Mr. Chuuni Student Council President’s skills are the real deal. Watch.”

I’d been so engrossed by the conversation that I lost track of the action. Looking again, I saw the robed party was trailing the armored party, but not by much. On the track ahead of them stood two massive monsters that glowed bright orange.

“Are those lava elementals?” My shock at the unexpected nickname was quickly replaced by my shock at seeing such a dangerous monster up close. “Even pros have trouble with them.”

Sure enough, the armored party had their shields locked together to defend themselves from the heat. As fire swirled around the beast, it pressed up against a transparent magical barrier that surrounded it on three sides. It was the first time I realized that not only was the crowd protected from the monsters, but the barriers also divided the two parties.

Sensing their chance to take the lead, the robed party ran forward. A flaxen-haired elf summoned a torrent of water on top of their elemental. Its skin--er, top layer--hardened into rock, but not before it shot a plume of fire at the party, engulfing them completely. I gasped, believing they would be killed by the attack, but they emerged safely a moment later, shielded by a large water bubble.

Meanwhile, the armored party was pelting their elemental with potions, achieving the same effect, only slower.

“Cursed Arm!” A burst of light radiated from the chuuni student council president’s arm, and when it faded, it looked just like the elemental’s hardened limb. No, on second glance, the elemental now had his arm attached to its shoulder. He had swapped arms with a monster. Wasting no time, he sprinted forward and plunged the arm into the monster’s chest, crushing its core with its own hand. The elemental disintegrated into black smoke, and when the chuuni president pulled his arm back, it was once again his own.

Seconds later, an armored orc threw a spear through the other elemental’s chest, but the mages had already taken the lead. It seemed the chuuni student council president had led his party to victory.

Or he would have, if he and his party weren’t gasping for air as they ran. The armored party overtook them just before the finish line, but I was still so wowed by what I had just seen that I didn’t care about the results.

“You want to recruit me for that?” I asked Robolina. “Do you really think I could take down an elemental?”

She nodded. “With enough training.”

“I’ve always thought of myself as average--worse than average, to be honest--and that was amazing. If you’re telling me I can be amazing too, I’ll do it. No, please let me join your team.”

“Here.” She reached into her bag and handed me a stack of tickets. As I flipped through them, I saw that they each had a different date on them. “Take one that fits your schedule.”

I grabbed one and handed the rest back to her. “What’s it for?”

“Blade and Shield Academy’s admission test. Since it’s an adventuring school, it takes place on an obstacle course designed to test your abilities.”

“Don’t underestimate it,” Tetsukiba said. “Calling it an obstacle course makes it sound like a bunch of hurdles and ropes, but it takes a sharp mind to pass.”

“Indeed.” Robolina nodded. “Luck also plays an important role in the exam, but if you prepare, you shouldn’t have a problem.”

They both seemed so confident. I didn’t want to disappoint them, but I doubted I was strong enough to run in leather armor. With just three months to prepare myself for a test that would decide if I would become a warrior, maybe if I spent all my free time in the gym, I could live up to their expectations.

Well, what did I have to lose? My only other option was a normal, boring, low-ranked high school. If I wanted to stop going in circles and do something with my life, this might be my only chance. I resolved right then and there to give it my best shot.

I had no idea I’d face a monster far deadlier than a slime during the exam.