Chapter 4

Nina

Dear diary,

I’m sorry, I couldn’t finish it yesterday. The thought of what I had done weighed on me until I had to lie down to rest. But you can see my situation and why it would be better if I never stepped out of that door again. I do not fit in that world any longer, and I would be better off keeping to myself until the time comes to once again see mum and dad.

The thought of it makes me happy, but I do not wish to see them before my time has come. Maybe I’m a coward, and only fear is stopping me from committing to the act, but then so be it. It was long since I could influence anything in my life, and it would be best to simply drift until it’s my time. There would be no more mistakes, no errors leading to consequences I cannot foresee. But I’m sure you do not wish to hear such gloomy talk any longer. You already know my life, and you know the state I’m in, and nothing that I say will surprise you.

So you will be happy to know I’ve finished my drawing, and I’m pleased to say I got the shading right. If only I could show it to mum, I know she would have loved it. Next, I will try to draw Sayaka again. I know I’ve already drawn her so many times, but I found a new image of her sitting in the shade. I want to make sure I get the shading right on that one, too.

You also know that I have a new client, and he’s sent his file for the new logo. I will work on that next week, and I hope he will be pleased with the new design.

It’s getting late, I need to sleep. I will write more tomorrow and update you on how it goes with my new drawing.