To Let Go and Move Forward

Akari's tears fell until there was nothing left. Her eyes burned, her face reddened and swelled, and her throat dried up. She didn't realize how much she had been holding back all this time - every sorrow, every regret, every longing. She couldn't believe how much she had shielded herself from feeling the pain.

But now that she was here before their graves, she finally allowed herself to feel it all, and something inside of her loosened. It wasn't a feeling of relief, but a subtle easing, like a weight she hadn't noticed was crushing her had now shifted just enough for her to breathe properly. 

Jun stayed silently by her side the entire time, a slow movement of his thumb circling her back for support. 

After a while, Akari slowly rose to her feet as her legs wobbled. Jun followed, staying close in case she needed him. 

At first, she didn't say anything, just stared at the grave for a moment longer as if committing it to memory. 

Then she finally broke the silence, her voice hoarse. "Thank you, Jun..." She looked at him, eyes red and swollen, tear tracks still visible. "I really can't thank you enough..."

Jun shook his head, his voice quiet. "You don't have to thank me. I only helped you get here."

Akari stepped closer. "No... You did more than that." She closed the space between them. "I don't think I could've done this alone." Her hands hesitated for a moment before she reached for him. She leaned forward, lightly pressed her head against his chest, then her arms slipped around him.

Jun stiffened in surprise - only for a second.

Then his breath left him in a quiet exhale as his arms came around her - strong and certain. One rest between her shoulders, the other settled at the small of her back, pulling her in just a little closer than necessary. "Then I'm glad I was with you."

Akari's body rested against him as if the last of her strength finally gave out. The warmth of his hold spread through her, the steady rhythm of his breathing grounded her, the faint beat of his heart comforted her. 

Jun's hold didn't loosen. If anything, he held her closer, firmer, protective, as if letting go wasn't an option he could bring himself to consider. His chin rested lightly against her head as he breathed in her scent that made him selfishly wish they could be like this forever.

Akari shifted slightly against him, and his grip instinctively tightened, as if afraid she might disappear the moment he let go. The thought unsettled him more than he expected it to.

Neither of them spoke. Just a quiet embrace full of words neither knew how to say.

In that silence, Akari understood that Jun had become someone she leaned on, someone she cared for, someone she trusted with the parts of herself she'd kept hidden with her mask for far too long.

And Jun, understood clearly that he didn't want to be anywhere else than by her side. This was no longer about just helping her. It was about not wanting to ever let her go. About wanting to be with her.

After some time, Akari was the first to move. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she loosened her hold on him. 

Jun felt the shift immediately; his arms tightened in instinctive protest for a second before he caught himself and let her pull away. The warmth she'd left behind felt sudden and jarring.

She took a small step back, lifting her glassy eyes to meet his. "Thank you..." The words carried more meaning than before.

Jun met her gaze with a nod. "Anytime."

Akari turned back toward the grave, drawing in a deep breath to steady herself. "Hikari... Mom... I'll come back again."

She bowed her head once more, then turned to Jun with a small fragile smile that made his heart ache. "Shall we go?"

"Are you sure?" He searched her face. "We can stay longer if you want."

She shook her head lightly, glancing back at the grave. "I'm okay... I feel like I can start moving forward now." Her voice carried a hint of acceptance. She wasn't healed but a sense of peace made its way through her grief.

"Alright. As long as you're ready." 

He waited for her to take the first step and then fell into stride beside her as they walked the path out. A gentle breeze pushed from behind as if nudging Akari forward.

-

When they returned to the car, someone appeared to be waiting for them. An older man heavily aged by time stood hunched over carrying a bag. His eyes lit up as soon as he noticed them and he waved warmly.

Jun grabbed Akari's hand without thinking and led her over.

"Jun!" The old man's voice hoarse with age yet carried a subtle joy. "It's good to see you." 

"It's good to see you too." Jun replied.

Akari stood beside Jun, still holding his hand, a mixture of curiosity and caution in her chest. The old man's presence was commanding yet kind and for some odd reason she felt like he looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. 

"This is Mr. Sanada." Jun introduced after noticing Akari's confused expression. "He was my mentor when I first became a detective." His voice treaded carefully. "He wanted to meet you to talk to you, if that's okay...?"

Akari titled her head, not understanding Jun's tone. "Okay..." She turned and bowed her head. "It's nice to meet you." 

Mr. Sanada's eyes flickered with shame and regret as he looked over Akari. "Please don't bow your head to me. I don't deserve that from you."

Akari blinked. "What?"

Mr. Sanada bowed low, voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry. If only I had listened closer back then you wouldn't have had to go through so much suffering."

Akari looked between Mr. Sanada and Jun. "I don't understand..."

Mr. Sanada kept his head down in shame. "I'm the one who ignored your mother's report of abuse... If it wasn't because of my negligence, you might've lived a better life."

A memory resurfaced and Akari finally realized why Mr. Sanada looked familiar. He was one of the police officers at the scene after Hikari's death. The one that interviewed her and her family back then. The one that concluded there was no evidence and let her father walk away free. 

For a moment, anger boiled under her skin, demanding to be unleashed. Her breath became uneven as her nails dug into her palms. "How could you?"

"I have no excuse." His voice heavy with remorse. "I failed you. Your mother. Your sister. I know that cannot be forgiven. But even so... I offer you my sincerest apologies."

Akari's chest heaved and her eyes began to sting. A storm of rage and disbelief swirled inside of her. 

Jun's hand gently tightened around hers, bringing her back to her senses.

Akari took a deep breath to try and steady herself. "Your apology won't bring them back or make up for it..."

Mr. Sanada kept bowing. "I know. And I don't deserve your forgiveness. I only wanted to face you to apologize and take responsibility."

Akari swallowed. "Raise your head."

He did not move.

"Please." Akari said firmer.

Mr. Sanada lifted his head and met her gaze. 

Akari's anger faded when she thought of how she spent her afternoon at her mother and sister's grave. I'm not an angry person...Nor do I want to be... The years of holding her grief and pain in had already taken its toll. The thought of clinging to rage after everything felt unnecessary.

She offered him a faint fragile smile. "Jun told me about how dedicated and hardworking you were when he first joined. I'm not saying that makes up for your mistakes, but I'm glad at least you learned from them."

Mr. Sanada blinked, taken aback by her words. "Thank you..." 

"Are you the one leaving flowers by their grave?" Akari asked.

He nodded. "I am... It's the least I can do."

"Thank you..."

"You don't owe me any thanks." Mr. Sanada suddenly remembered the bag he was carrying and handed it to Akari. "I know this doesn't make up for anything, but this belongs to you."

"For me?" Akari took the bag, looking inside in disbelief. "These are photo albums..."

"Your mother kept them with her until she passed."

Akari stared at the bundles of photo albums as tears threatened to pour again. "W-what happened to her?" Her voice unsure if she wanted an answer.

"She got sick." Mr. Sanada said simply. "I'm sorry I couldn't find you sooner."

"You were looking for me?"

Mr. Sanada nodded. "Your mother and I both. When you left for the mainland, she wanted to follow you, but things happened... When everything finally settled down, she came to me for help to find you, but by then you had disappeared."

Akari blinked back the tears. "So she didn't abandon me..."

"What? No, child." Mr. Sanada's voice wrapped in concern. "Your mother never abandoned you. She loved you more than anything. It was just unfortunate circumstances that kept her away."

Jun squeezed her hand, letting her lean on him as she let the words sink in.

"I wasn't sure what to think..." She whispered almost to herself.

Mr. Sanada gave a small sad smile. "I'm sorry it took so long for you to hear the truth. But she loved you. Please know that. She did her best to protect you, even from afar."

Akari fell silent, her thoughts tangled as she tried to process. Jun immediately noticed. He offered a polite bow and exchanged goodbyes. He then gently led Akari back to the car.

-

Back at the hotel, Akari lay on the bed next to the pile of photo albums, staring at how worn by time they were.

Jun sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. This was too much for you..."

Akari slowly sat up with a faint shake of her head. "No... I needed it." Her voice soft but certain. "You gave me a chance to face things I had been running from."

Her gaze fell on him. "Thank you, Jun... You're really something special."

The words took him by surprise. "I only did what anyone would've done."

Akari let out a breath that might've been a small laugh. "Not anyone would go through all this trouble."

Jun glanced away, a faint redness rose to his ears. "Maybe not... But I wanted to."

Akari leaned in closer, resting her head against his shoulder. "Thank you..."