A Freeing Breath

When Jun retired to his room for the night, Akari gathered the strength to look through the photo albums.

Page after page she relived her childhood when her family was still whole, smiles were still real, and love still around. Birthdays and holidays. First steps and first days of school. Days at the beach and late-night walks. Memories she once viewed as cruel reminders now softened in her hands, reflecting not as pain, but as heartfelt nostalgia.

She continued to flip through the album until something loose slipped from the pages. When Akari picked it up and looked at its contents, her breath stilled. It was a letter to her, unmistakably her mother's handwriting:

Haruka,

I hope one day this letter finds its way to you. There are so many things I want to say to you. I'm sorry that I never managed to follow you. I'm sorry that I failed to protect you and your sister. I'm sorry that I couldn't find you. I have failed as a mother in more ways than I can count. 

I hope that you are alive and well. Are you eating properly? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you healthy? Are you happy? I worry about you so much. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

There's so much I wish we could've experienced and talked about together. I wish I could've seen you again. Hugged you. Made you a meal. Brushed your hair for you. Something. Anything. What I wouldn't give to have more time with you. But my time is running out, and my body no longer listens the way my heart wants.

If you're reading this letter, then I am already gone.

But there's something I wish I could've told you. Something I should've told you long ago but never found the courage to say when it mattered most.

Haruka, what happened back then was never your fault. Please don't let guilt stay in your heart. Don't let regret or hatred weigh you down or steal the life you deserve. You were just a child, and you did nothing wrong. 

I hope you can live your life freely. Away from the pain and suffering you've endured. 

My sweet darling girl, I hope you know how much I love you. I'm sorry I failed to be able to show it to you, but I love you so much and I always will no matter where I am.  

Please let go of all the pain and let yourself live. 

But never forget that no matter what happens, you are always loved.

Mom.

Tears spilled from Akari's eyes, burning as they fell. She clutched the letter to her chest as her breath became uneven. Mom... I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm sorry I didn't find you either. I hope you weren't in too much pain. What I wouldn't give for more time with you too... I could really use a hug...

In the midst of her cries, Akari felt two warm arms wrap around her from behind, firm and steady, pulling her gently back against a solid chest. Jun had heard her cries through the walls and quietly approached. He didn't say a word. He didn't need to, his hold spoke for him - anchoring, caring, supporting.

Akari's sobs came harder once she realized she wasn't alone. Her shoulders shook beneath his arms as she clung to the letter - the only remnant of her mother's word left.

Jun adjusted his hold, one arm tightening around her waist, the other coming up to rest over her clasped hands. He grounded her without restraining her, letting her cry as long as she needed.

When Akari's cries eventually softened and her breath evened, Jun slowly loosened his hold and stepped back slightly. "You should get some rest." He said quietly, wiping a tear from her cheek.

He turned toward the door to leave.

"Jun."

He stopped and turned to her.

"Could you stay...?" She asked softly. "Just for tonight."

For a moment, he didn't speak, unsure if this crossed a line. But when he saw her red and swollen eyes, the doubt disappeared and he nodded. "Of course."

Jun sat on one side of the bed atop the covers. "You had a rough day. I'll stay here while you rest." He pulled the covers down on the other side of the bed, gesturing for Akari to lie down.

Akari eased herself under the blankets. "Thank you for today, Jun." Her voice still shaky. "I couldn't have done all of this without you."

"You don't have to thank me." His voice soft. "I wanted to be here."

Akari's puffy eyes blinked heavily before sleep quickly claimed her. Jun leaned back against the headboard as he watched over her, the rise and fall of her chest under the covers calmed him in a way he didn't expect.

He stayed still, careful not to get too close to touch or do anything that would wake her. 

A strand of her hair fell across her face but he resisted the urge to brush it aside. He made sure to keep his distance as he watched her with quiet attention. His heart tightened at the sight of her tear-stained face. It pained him to see her hurting, but he also knew this was something important for her to face and overcome. And he was determined to stay by her side through all of it. A small, almost helpless smile tugged at his lips at the thought of being by her side. What have you done to me...?

Moments passed, Jun slightly relaxed his posture against the headboard. He stayed awake long enough to make sure she was truly at ease, then he allowed himself to drift toward sleep, mindful to maintain the fragile space between them. 

-

Morning light filtered through the curtains, stirring Akari awake. She blinked sleepily as her hair fell across her face. Jun had already been awake, watching over her quietly.

"Morning." Akari murmured, voice still hoarse from sleep and crying.

"Morning." Jun replied with a small smile forming from the sight of her. "How are you feeling?"

Akari pushed herself up to sit. She paused for a moment, taking in her surroundings. "My heart feels heavy."

"It's understandable. You went through a lot recently, especially yesterday." 

She placed a hand over her heart. "It feels heavy but also freeing... Like I'm able to actually breathe now."

"I'm sure your heart will begin to feel even lighter with some more time."

Akari nodded. "I'm sure too. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can say I'm okay and it not be a complete lie."

Jun's smile softened. "I'm glad." He paused for a moment, his mind debating on his next words. "Since you're feeling a little better." He treaded carefully, unsure if this was appropriate. "If you're feeling up to it, would you like to do something this evening?"

"It might be nice to go and do something." Akari tilted her head. "What would you like to do?"

He met her gaze confidently, his voice no longer hesitant. "I'd like to take you on a date."