First encounter

You bring heaven and hell in my mind

If I’m with ya would u give me heaven or hell

I’m scared but I’d walked through hell for you

My mind’s scared

Should I run forward

Should I be patient and wait for the right chance

Or is it already over

Will I always look at you from a far

Even if I touch your hand would ya gimme hell

Let god pull me through

It seems like I’m walking all over

Where's my path

Am I going right or left

Or is it just the direction I’m going

Or is the right way actually left?

It’s Saturday morning. The sun rises to illuminate my mind from my dreams, and dumb thoughts. What was I dreaming about last night, just about you, I forgot what it was about but you were definitely in it. You’d probably be the person I most dream about in my life in just a semester, not counting outside sleeping. I’ve been thinking about it but I’d probably be willing to go to school on the weekend just to see ya, if it happened though I probably wouldn’t even be able to talk to you but I’d like it, the chance, that enough I wouldn’t miss a single day of school.

Well enough of me bashing about a girl I don’t have the guts to ask out. I better fool around with the freetimes I got from the weekend. I got some time to kill, might go hang around a bit. I walk outside the apartment, and see my brother David resting on the footsteps with his walkman. I don’t think there’s been a time I haven’t seen him without his walkman since he got it on his 16th birthday. He was about 2 years older than me, wore glasses, and always had on the same hoodie.

“Hey Tupac, what’s up.”

“Nothing, just wondering if I could use your walkmen.” My brother was strange, I didn’t see him that often as he worked a lot, but when he wasn’t working, or looking at older women, he was always with his walkman on the footsteps, like why not inside, not that it matters. He was a real nerd about rap, always talking about where the group was from, and if they're gonna become the next thing with an excited look on his face.

“Sure, it’s a good time I got some new stuff for you.” He pulled out a cassette tape that was just labeled New!

“This time I’m not even sure who's it by, but it sure is good. I gotta ask him next time. They're probably gonna be the next big thing.”

“You say that every time.”

“Well I still haven’t been proven wrong yet, you’ll see in two years.” I smirked a little. “You can keep it for the rest of the day, I gotta get to work now.”

“You sure, you always have this thing on you.”

“It’s alright, I always got that thing on me. Just make sure not to lose it alright, I’ll beat you up.” He points at me, and looks me straight in the eye. Now I’m a little scared, he ain’t seem like he was lying. After that he took his bag, went down the street and disappeared.

When I was listening to rap it was freeing. The words sprang and made my heart beat harder and harder. The beat, the weird but cool lyrics, it made my heart go wild. I listened to the unnamed mixtape as I watched the people walk across the streets. I saw people walking to work, smoking, partying, and drunk, the whole world was also moving along too. Come to think of it, my first encounter was also in October, when I was still in middle school, and my brother was a sophomore in high school. I remember it being oddly hot for a day near the end of October.

Even after my mom bought my brother his walkman he never could use it. My mom didn’t think to get any mixtapes with it and my brother was also pretty dumb despite being the only kid in our family with glasses, did he really get them for his poor eyesight, so he probably had the opportunity to get one but it wound up taking him 2 months into the school year before he could get one mixtape, and even than he borrowed it from a friend.

“Hey pac.”

“What.”

“I finally got a cassette.”

“Didn’t you say you couldn’t find one anywhere.”

“Well I got lucky, a friend lent me one.”

“Really, he’d lend you something like that.”

“Yessir! Well he said he’d kill me if I lost it though, it’s his cousins that someone gave to him.”

“Broo.”

“You wanna listen.” At that time I think we were lying on the floor looking excitedly at our definitely 5th handed beaten up walkman. He opened the cassette door, and he carefully put the cassette into it. Then he closed it, the cassette door made a satisfying click as it closed. Then he plugged in his headphones, and put them on me.

“Here you get first listen.” I hear the faint volume of the machinery, and then the reel starts spinning. I hear the music, the cassette just so happened to be rap. It was my first encounter and I fell in love. The beat instantly got me drawn in, and then

“Heey!” I said whinely. My brother grabbed the headphones off my head.

“My turn now hehe.” After that we spent a while fighting who gets to listen first, till we just both put our ears on one side of the headphone. The audio was so bad that that way I could barely hear anything.

In just a flash it was 2:30, and it was almost time for my shift. I must have listened to the whatever album 2 times while looking into the streets. Maybe my brother was right, they might be the next big thing. Let’s see today if I can snag some free slices of pie for my brother today. I walk to work still listening to the tape, walkman in pocket and enjoyed my walk to the fullest.