Chapter 12

I left soon after, feeling even more out of place than normally. At least I’d keep busy all evening, researching those questions. Staying with them felt like navigating a minefield, but at the same time, part of me wondered what lay beyond that. Somehow, it felt different than hanging out with my old squad, even if I couldn’t really say why…

Were we really that close? We had known each other for less than a week. It was nothing compared to my squad that had become the closest thing to family I’d ever had. I shook my head. Was I zoning out again?

I tried to focus on my task again, scanning cringy website after cringy website, looking for answers. It would be more efficient to teach them how to do it themselves… I heard the sliding door open, and I glanced at the balcony just in time to see An’Ri walking in, wrapped in a colourful scarf, her hair wet.

I blinked, but she didn’t seem to notice my surprise and sat down next to me on the sofa, resting her head on my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Working…”

“It is late”

I sighed. How was I supposed to answer that? She huddled against me, trying to cover herself with her scarf.

“Are you cold…?”

She shook her head.

“I can help you”

She peeked at my screen. I didn’t really think she could, but I didn’t want to tell her off. Part of me was happy having her company. She was still weird, but she was definitely easier to be around than… I was right, though, and her questions didn’t help, but rather forced me to try to explain things I didn’t understand myself. But somehow, I didn’t mind it, at least until she fell asleep.

I sighed. What was I supposed to do now…? Would she come and pick her up? It would be the best. I glanced at the balcony door. It was still raining outside. I waited for a bit, trying to focus on my task, but my mind drifted, and I closed my laptop before I completely zoned out. She really should have come by now.

I glanced at the sleeping girl. I sighed and carefully got up, wrapping her in my jacket, and picked her up. She stirred in my arms, but luckily, didn’t wake up. I stepped over to the balcony and opened the sliding door. There was still light in their flat. Good. I carried her to their side, trying to shield her from the rain, and knocked on the door.

Mai’Ri opened, smiling.

“Come in”, she said softly.

I hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, and she closed the door behind us. She could easily have taken her from me at that moment, and I could have gone back to my flat. So why didn’t she? I stood there, holding the girl in my arms. I felt as if I was about to step on a minefield again. Finally, she took her, leaning so close I could smell her shampoo. I stepped back and looked away.

“Thank you…”

She looked at me and leaned towards me again, only to stop herself mid-way and look away.

“I should go…”

She nodded, and I opened the door. There wasn’t really any reason for me to stay… The cold rain hadn’t cleared my head as I hoped it would, and when I came back to my flat and sat down on the sofa, it felt almost as cold and empty as the night outside. There was no point in dwelling on it, it was what it was. I cast a last glance at the balcony and then went to my bedroom. It was a good idea to try to get some sleep.

It was still raining when I woke up, but even if it was my rest day, it wasn’t an excuse to waste my time by staying in bed longer than necessary. Like always, a cold shower and a cup of coffee put me in shape, and I sat down at the table with my laptop, trying to finish my task as the sun slowly lit up the sky.

When the war ended, I’d considered finding myself a hobby. With so much spare time, boredom was slowly creeping in, but I never managed to settle on anything. During the war, we’d spend our free time playing cards, and on those rare occasions when we got leave, we'd just get drunk. From all of us, only Raptor had a hobby, turning every available piece of wood into miniature tanks and power armours with his combat knife. I still had a few of them standing on my shelf. And Vanity… No one had taken their passion for cataloguing their souvenirs seriously, but they’d finished studying that crap at uni. Who would have imagined it back then…?

At least helping them with their questions gave me something to do. It wasn’t something I really wanted, but still, it was better than nothing. It was more complicated than I thought it would be, and I was pretty sure the next market would bring another task that required my help… At least Mai’Ri was happy about it, and part of me was looking forward to it. I guess the Major would be more than happy to help me with some of it.

I blinked. Those were strange thoughts invading my mind. I sighed. They were different from the usual crap that filled my head when the world around me went too silent, so they had slipped unnoticed. Although, they weren’t bad, right? Just weird... Almost as weird as They were...

I sighed and glanced at the balcony door, but only rain met my gaze. It was still early. I had left my jacket there, so I had to go pick it up at some point. I smiled and stretched in the chair. They were probably still sleeping, so I could have breakfast and do some work before going over to them.