I wanted to cry but couldn't

“And it will be a precious time of your youth so don't…….”

Every student was standing in a straight line when the speech by the principal was going on.

Not interested in it, students' ears and mouths were busy with their friends around them. Not all of them but quite a bit of them.

As I saw our homeroom teacher yawn I knew all of the teachers also wanted the principal to put a full stop to the speech.

But maybe the principal recalled his own youth and the speech lasted for another 20 minutes.

<>

Most of the boys were walking ahead like mafia’s. Attitude and Ego filled in every step and movement. My steps were walking far behind along with Uragao-san, Fumiko-san, Kyoko-san and other girls to not get lumped with those idiots.

We are not going to an all out war with a yakuza faction. It's Karaoke.

Not everyone from class was coming but it was still enough for me to sweat buckets if said to sing in front.

Honestly, now that I think about it, I shouldn't have come. I will be doing nothing. If i had to just listen to people singing there are infinite numbers of videos on the internet. But now, I can't go back.

<>

Sitting in the room my eyes looked around.

Girls on one side busy with their own problems and boys on the other trying to flex hard. Honestly, did not a single decent boy come?

As the girls grabbed the stylus and started selecting a song to start with, two boys were ordering from the wall mounted telephone.

The performances started from the girls side and were passed to one of the boys. Taking turns, it continued, where the girls showed off their excellent voices, The boys only had some diamonds in the rough.

I was quietly sipping on my cola, thinking why did I even come.

Like seriously there is nothing for me to do.

When the cola in my cup hit the bottom I started surfing through the phone.

There was a message from Hiraru-san, a photo of Akemi-chan trying to act like a cool lady. I couldn't help but let out a giggle.

A chain reaction started from there, as I kept scrolling back through chat I found more and more silly and cute photos. Going through other photos through my phone, I found some of Shigeo, Lemon, Dad, Sachi-san, Hiraru-san,Asami-san, Ayako-chan,Sumiko-chan and Nobuo-kun photos with me in some of them.

Some silly, some cute and adorable, some just normal. Most of them were from when I was in middle school. As my face was giving faint smile while looking at them a voice asked,

“Oh oh! Go back.”

And I did as it said instinctively.

A photo of Nobuo and Shigeo hanging upside-down on a horizontal bar, mouth wide open and a dumb expression on face of both, not giving up when competing with Shigeo on who gives up first and in the background Akemi, Sumiko and Ayako making peace sing with a face clearly saying “Idiots”.

A portrait of pure comedy.

“Haha.That's funny lol ~~”

The voice hit the ears again and I turned towards it.

Fumiko-san was wiping away the tears and couldn't stop laughing while gluing her eyes to it.

After filling the empty lungs of her back she asked,

“Is…is one of them your brother or sister.”

Zooming in the photo I said,

“Yeah. He is my little brother Shigeo.”

“He is too cute~”

Swiping the screen I searched for a photo I just went through and showed it to Fumiko-san.

A bowl of cream fully emptied on Shigeo’s head and he stood innocently while half of his face was covered by the bowl and cream, and Lemon clearly showing the disappointment of her hard work gone to waste as she was staring at a bit of cream on her finger while crouching beside Shigeo.

“Here. When he tried to taste the cream sneakily. Crouching beside him is Lemon, my little sister.”

“Owwww~”

“Wait, what's this Mae-kun?” laughing at it, Kiyoko-san asked.

“What are you two laughing at?” Uragao-san's curiosity was grabbed by their laughs.

“Mae-kun’s little brother is so cute,look look.” Fumiko-san pointed at my screen.

“Oh he really is! Is he really that silly and cute?”

I swiped through some more photos and showed them. I didn't show every single photo of them on my phone because of course they wouldn't like it and nor would I if someone did the same for me, I only showed some hilarious and adorable photos.

In the middle of it all, I felt glares at me.

Looking from the corner of my eyes I saw the boys clearly exasperated, not all of them, only the ones who always treat me like trash.

I couldn't handle those killing glares at me so I stepped out with the excuse of going to the restroom. I also took my bag with me because I don't know what would have happened if I left it here.

<>

Sighing as I looked into the mirror my eyes dimmed more.

Pulling back the bangs I looked at the scar.

Just a blank stare.

“Did it grow?” I murmured when I saw the scar creeping towards the ear.

Clank clank

I heard footsteps approaching the restroom. Loud and strongly placed like they wanted to warn me about their arrival.

Dropping back my bangs I turned.

“Oh ho ho, look who's here? The trash-kun.”

“Isn't he hanging a lot with Fumiko-san and others?”

“Don't get ahead of yourself.”

“Sinking his face in the toilet will be enough right?”

As those four boys entered I could feel my instincts telling me to get out of there as quickly as possible.

And I tried. Grabbing my bag my legs rushed outside but,

Pulling me back by the collar they throwed my body against the wall. Pushing me against it one of the guy with piercing said,

“Dont run away like that. Hey! pull his bangs back.”

The one with Blonde hairs comes closer and pulls them back.

“Does it still hurt, huh?” His finger started poking right beside my eyes.

The pain from the first poke,similar to a needle poking it brought me to tears.

“Kah ha ha, That's a nice reaction. Let me try it too.” The one with a piercing gestured to the other 2 standing behind him to restrain my hand.

Not long after, their pleasure escalated with each poke, pinch and rub. One of them shut my mouth with one of his hands and took pictures with phone in the other hand.

Grinding my own teeth and biting the tongue my legs gave up and I fell on the floor. Legs and Hands still struggling to free myself and run away from there.

But

The strength wasn't enough against them.

My throat was shouting but the cry for help didn't get past the hand shutting the mouth.

Don’t!

Please!

Stop!

Please stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Let me go! Stop! Stop! Stop! Please! Let me go! Stop! Stop! No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

<>

The struggle of my legs and hand stopped at some point. Even the muffled screams went silent. Breathing was the only thing I could do to stay conscious which was also the thing I wanted to stop doing at the same moment and only tears ran down from the eyes asking for someone's help.

I don't know how long it went on, but for me hours passed.

Their satisfied faces left the washroom with some lines said to me, but my body was overwhelmed by pain for any senses to work so I could hear.

Directing any last drops of strength left in my body to my legs I somehow stood up.

Lifting up my chin the first thing I saw reflected in the mirror in front of me was my traumatized face.

Messed up uniform and Hairs. Trembling hands and legs. Watery red and dead eyes. Racked brain and wobbly movements if I tried to do any.

I could still hear the boys laugh reaching my ears as they walked toward the room in which others were.

Fixing my hair and uniform, I grabbed my bag and left for home.

<>

My vision was mostly buried but I could feel the revulsion and unpleasant gazes at me on the streets because of the scar in view. And expressions weren't any indifferent from most of them.

My steps were rushing through the horrible expression on the streets and my mind had a thought, A random thought

One day I will ■■■■

that fogged my mind on the way back. The mind was in a mess for me to pay any attention to it.

And that's how a day horrifying enough to not let me sleep for some night and maybe haunt me in future was added to my life.

Something important also happened that day but that's a story for another time.