Seeing Sophia (Part 1)

October 5th – Kimura Mirai 

I took the pendant out of the place I had stored it in for the last 20 years. After seeing the boy that looked like an exact replica of Yuto I didn't know what to do with my feelings. For 20 years I hung onto this in the vague hope that it might really be possible to bring him back to life and that it wasn't just some ploy to ease my pain in my darkest moment. Over these 20 years I never told anyone about this. Not my husband, not my daughter, not anyone. I even didn't ever talk to Sophia again after that fateful day. But I did talk to the pendant a lot. Whenever I was down or missing him more than usual I would take it out and talk to him like he could hear me. He was the only one I felt like talking to in these moments. Of course I was aware that I was only prolonging my pain this way and that I didn't have anything to gain from clinging to the past like this, but I just couldn't help it. He gave his life back then and so I felt like I had to devote my life to him to match his sacrifice. Even if I was the only one who cared.

But what should I do now? I knew deep in my heart what I wanted to do. But it was so unspeakable that I didn't even dare think it. But I still knew that I couldn't just let it go. Not now, not after hanging onto this regret for 20 years. I had to talk with Sophia again. She was the only one who might know what to do. But how should I contact her? We didn't talk for all this time and I didn't have a phone number to even try call. The only thing I knew was where she lived back then. Did she still live in that same old house? It was my only hope. I checked to see whether Kiyomi and my husband were sleeping and then I took the car and drove to the place where the house was where Sophia lived in 20 years ago. It was in the middle of the night, but she was always awake during the night back then so I hoped her habits hadn't changed. It was such a ridiculous thing to do, 20 years, what a long time. No way she was still living there and awake.

When I arrived at the house it hadn't changed much from the way I remembered it looking. The house wasn't very far from my own, but I avoided it at all cost. Too many memories were attached to the house where Yutos mother lived. I parked the car and slowly walked to the house. The house was an anomaly in the neighborhood. Sophia came from England decades ago and she build a house here that wouldn't have felt out of place in the English countryside. It really stood out amongst all the boring japanese houses in the suburban neighborhood. The closer I got the more it felt like I had to struggle to get closer to the house, like something was pushing me away. But finally I made it to the door. What now? Just ring the bell? After a couple seconds of just standing there I finally gave myself a push and pressed down the brass button of the bell and the sound it made awoke more memories in me. I didn't really know whether I wanted her to be here or not but before I could think about whether I should maybe just run away, the door opened and no other then Sophia stood before me. She was 20 years older, but it was her, no doubt. At first she didn't seem to recognize me, but when she did, her face displayed an emotion I couldn't really read. But she surely didn't seem to be too happy to see me.

“What are you doing here Mirai?” she asked. Her voice still sounded about the same as back then. Nothing much seemed to have changed around here.

“Something happened and I don't know who else to talk to,” I answered.

Suddenly her face turned into a smile.

“So you finally met Suzuki,” she said to my surprise.

“You know him?”

“Oh yes, of course. But come in, I tell you all I know.” With that she moved out of the way and I entered the house like I had done so many times before in the past.