Faith.

I have not been to Kenshins house yet.
We have together for a few months and been on over twenty dates and not adding into it the time we spend with each other at school, but this is entirely new and uncharted terrain for me.

I look down and see after i feel it,Kenshin puts a small very pretty toy bracelet on my wrist.

Very thin,with little toy sapphire and emerald gems and a fish line a blue color to make it easy to tie on my wrist..

I look him,a little touched by the cute gift but confused as well.
Won't his father be a little mad over a little childlike toy being on my wrist at such an event?

Kenshin just raises my hand after he grasps it,puts a small kiss on the tip of my index fingers knuckle.
His favorite one he repeats very often when he wants to get a message across gently to comfort me.

When i open my mouth to speak he just kisses my knuckle again and i walk with him inside,i had no idea that just the main entrance would be like a small house by itself to walk through.

Like a history museum of swordsman and scholars on every wall with portraits of dragons,warriors and wise text all around us.

"Not what i was expecting at all.It is lovely Shin..."
"I am glad you find beauty in here,perhaps i may too if you can."

I look up at him softly after those words but feel i should not press it,Parents are a bit of a sore subject for him.

I take his offered arm ,for his comfort and my own benefit because these old fashioned sandals are making me unsteady, and hold onto this arm tightly but with an open hand.Not for a second being unaware of how thin a hakama like his is and how very thick his arms feel.

"Squeeze all you like Lovely."

I pinch said arm to no obvious pain so that i could punish him but instead i get a kiss on the head for my ill behavior.

"Why  would you kiss me on the head for bad behavior for?"
"Attention is attention my Lovely,besides,you couldn't hurt me even if you tried."

The way he says that is so soft,gentle.
He is so pure in how much he believes that we are forever and ever.

I wish i felt like that.

I am still scared and i try to shovel that feeling away because it disappears when we are together, but apart?

I hate that i am here.
At an event and obsessing over the nagging feeling.
But i can't escape it no matter how hard I fight it alone.

I hate the spotlight.

I saw camera after camera when Kenshin arrived to pick me up.
Moments later the internet blew up about the event,my first public official date,The likely arrangements for marriage being in the works as I have become somehow profitable to his family.

I want to be here,with him,a help but..
Not the center of the light.
I like the background,where I have always been and now I am on newspapers.
Unable to work because my boss can see that I can't actually get anything done with young women questioning me the whole shift over every detail of Kenshin and I.

Not to mention the very,VERY specific questions I am asked I refuse to answer.

"Ready?"

I jump,so lost in my mind world that I forget I am here now.

In a beautiful house that Kenshin has all but said to me if I am willing will be my home someday.

Wearing a dreamy kimono custom made by the finest tailor in Japan.
Looking for the one of the few times in my whole life (in my own eyes )beautiful.

Now also on the arm of a tall,handsome flirtatious but sweet as honey young man who is my ideal,
everything I have written about and dreamed of secretly.

"Should I be scared Kenshin.Really,no jokes or flirting.Do I really stand a chance or is this all just....A dream?"

The way he turns so slightly like he is trying to hold something back but he catches sight of my eyes,bare of attempting to joke away the feelings but facing them.

Kenshin cups my cheeks,squeezes them softly like one would a soft toy then takes my left hand holding it in front of me so I can closely look at the bracelet he gave me.

"This is what GOD used to bring my grandparents together.One night they both were at the same  playhouse,very old school yes,both of them had been at opposing schools that competed for the best writing in the country at the time.
Now having never met they still were the most fierce rivals on paper.So,that night they both walked away from their parents to avoid falling asleep from the play(terribly boring one I had to see twice).They met just by the front door,this very house was that playhouse,also they had the connection moment.All was perfect."
"Until??"
"Until,they realized that they were rivals.It made being a couple challenging because as goopy gooey as you would put it,they also had to each be the best in there work at the time.Both had heavy expectations on them and would not bend but after trying to fight against it so long and breaking up three times.
 Grandfather made a decision.He made this little bracelet from the items he used to compete against her and told her this:"
'I do not care if I beat you or if you beat me.I am not living with this back and forth anymore!Is there anyone you want more than me?Is there any other dream you have more than being a mother and decent business woman?'
He yelled it too,it was raining like a movie scene dramatic,she did not say a word but kissed him.Said afterwards that the only reason she kept breaking up with him was because he just would not say something quick enough and he argues to this day that it was her.
Married for sixty five years now on faith."

I study this bracelet.
This weird,small but cute little bracelet that holds memories of a past I do not share and feel suddenly bashful I am wearing it.

"Why is it on me then and not her?"

The way his body starts to tense and relax,his eyes looking moistened but not welling up.
Kenshin maneuvers me to just beside the door for a brief movement of privacy.

Respite.

He leans forward and rests his forehead on mine,height difference out to the wind far as he is concerned.

"Because he believes.I believe.I thought you did too,have faith,will you now?This is my only proof I can give you beyond my words and my actions.Can it be enough for you?"

I caress his cheek,he maneuvers it so he can get as much of the touch as he can even in here,I look out the adjoining room and into the main hall that is like a banquet for royalty,it is so lovely.

'How can I make it here though?'
I ask myself.

I look into his eyes though,he seems torn thinking about if i may turn tail and run.

Part of me is tempted.

That word though is bobbing around in my head and it begs for release.

"Faith..."

Kenshin for a moment looks perplexed but I silence that with a small barely there kiss across his bottom lip that he adores,making sure to get no lipstick on him and I put my arm up to get him to give me the crook of his.

"Faith?"

Kenshin asks me.

I am praying to GOD for it,for help on all of this.

"Faith."