In his eyes.Event, Part one.

A small tap of a kiss is placed on my forehead before we are visible to the public of this party.
Kenshin seems much more at ease when I close my eyes to enjoy it although what I do not tell him is:

I am actively trying so hard to swallow down this even more heightened state of fear I am feeling.

My eyes are roaming this room,it is a stunning work of artistry that is amazing for me to behold.

Enough even to make me question,even more so regardless of his adorable faith,my place here.

My hand grips his arm slightly harder as we pass many prolific people,people I see on TV who are powerful and influential enough to change the course of lives around japan,maybe even the world.
Part of the reason I am here too is to be visible proof of the effect that an active hand can be to change things for the better.

Yet.
I can only look at the walls,distract myself with the beautiful workings showcasing the beauty of old Japan and the modern intermingling of decor that seems almost seamless enough to make me feel like I am in some kind of fantasy.

The moments it takes to get towards his father are like a long walk through towards an emperor and I feel more out of place by the moment as I see others view me and leave not a moment to actually SEE me,just let me pass on and I would normally show respect enough to look another in the eye but I am not given the chance.

My only fantasy escape of this whole night is looking at this beautiful place straight out of my minds eye and the affection so quickly given from the one beside me holding close,unaware he is really what is holding me up and present in the now by the blessing of GOD.

This kimono is so tight feeling suddenly.

"Steady heart,steady."
I mumble to myself as Kenshin is pulled away by his father who says not a word to me but more like a snarling grunt of sorts.
I try to walk around and be friendly but am not well received except by two of the conglomerates heirs.

The first,he seems to believe that just because I turned around and made eye contact briefly that I am just ready to jump in his arms and be rather unladylike.
The other though.

She reminds me of Sokako,she seems to actually be curious about when volume three of my newest series"Swords Of Vermillion"will release.

Kind of flattering that my stories made for the lower class at first reaches the high class too.
Yet though,
My second respite would not last anywhere near long enough.

"Hello."

I am now familiar with his voice but am not quite used to it.
Maybe never will be.

He is beside me now,at a small distance out of respect for my lack of comfort towards him.
Oihas brother stands a little taller than he did two years ago,much broader too.

She did say he worked on his mind and his body to reform himself and she seems to be right,even his eyes seem so much..

Lighter.

Like a new soul is there and the same one somehow.

"Hi,Kaigo-San."

We both just then stand there a little awkwardly,staring out the window as we both cannot find anywhere else to be in this party.
No one is willing to bring us in and I suppose neither of us want in.

"Before we do the demonstration.I want to say,thank you for helping my sister.
She...she always suffered worse and I was so angry about that I couldn't really do much for her.And you....I genuinely thought somehow you were mocking me,that is how the meds made me think.We both suffered and I really never thought of that at all."

"I did not suffer,not like you both did.You attacked me and it was WRONG,but sometimes action are born out of reactions unintended.I was happy about what I thought I had and I treated it more like vanity instead of a blessing.We neither were right."

He seems so,overwhelmed by my words and his feelings.

"I hate it here,I just want to help Oiha and have a new life instead of being in the house of strangers that look at me like a thief.I haven't stolen a thing in years.
Am I forever a villain for a past I am trying to slay?"

Wow.
Kaigo speaks so beautifully,I would have never guessed that.

"You speak so lovely and beautiful.I am sorry that I had not known of your letters until so late,the school would have benefited from such speech."

He blushes and I feel a small comfort in the fact that I do not feel the same consuming fear by even the thought of him but discomfort still aches me.
He is called away and excuses himself.

Feet roaming where they will,I walk around and study the paintings.
All of them by one artist,Genmoe Ito.

They are stunning depictions of samurai,singers and landscapes of hydrangeas and cherry blossoms.

"They are my mothers work.She has no comparison in my eyes."

I turn to give my agreement to see Ito-San to my left,he is so imposing and while at the same height and frame of Kenshin,the feeling that one and the other gives off is widely incomparable.

"I have seen no other the like Ito-San,lovely work your mother made."

Do I talk more?
Less?

"To be abundantly clear,my son will not listen to a word I have to say concerning you and I do not sense such from you.
You know without a doubt you will drag my son down into your world of bad choices..Yes,yes I am aware of what that young man did and it was awful.So was what you did."

I look into his eyes,try my best not to flinch at his words but although my eyes stayed locked on his,my heart and body flinch at each word.

"You chose to react in a way that you would have been equally in pure pain with.Right?Afterwards you felt guilty and went to counseling and work.Did that help anyone but you?Yet,here you are convinced that you are good enough somehow to be apart of this family.
You know he is set on marrying you,he would not dated you otherwise.He would not have less than his heart desire and it had to be you of all people....You will stain him,any future children will have to live with the cost of your actions on them and the next generation.
Does he deserve that?You would do well to remember your place,break his heart if you must to get it over for him so he can have his chance to be happy.You will never allow yourself to be happy.You will eventually break him and this heart fluttering feeling will become bitterness."

I am fighting back so hard many tears,my fist are hurting so much from balling them inside my kimono sleeve and I am so stunned my words do not come out quickly.

Not readily.

But...

Come they do.

"Do you really think I want to break him??I am scared and do not like this world.
You see that so I do not deny it.I want to have him and have my quiet life but there is no options between,either an intense world in my life to have him or back to being a girl who killed someone over a bad choice.I did not mean to do that,I was hurt.I took therapy to make myself stronger to deal with this kind of thing and to make the family know I am repentant but you are right...what have i done?
I am trying now though,to help with this program with my only good thing I have,my words.I want to make your son,my Uncle,my Aunt,my parents proud and happy!To do good with what I have and this?!Does nothing!You want a warrior but a warrior that is what you want and not what maybe is best.People I have noticed do not want a person to watch in life that is without any mistake ,but a honest one, who knows that they are flawed simply just another person too!"
Ito-San seems stunned but not impressed.

He walks away and I should say more but my heart will not let the next words out like they should.

"Do not cower with him,he respects a proper woman but one that will not cower because of his manners.Show him that you are determined and you will have your place here earned.My husband never gives anything without a fight."

The voice is melodic and quiet,I turn to see only the shadow of form,a woman, following after Ito-San and I see the people crowding around them and how he seems like someone else when she takes to his side,to a gentle touch to his shoulder.

He looks back at me only the once.

Strange indeed.