Test of Courage

I saw the text confirming the time for this call at eight o’clock, but I still couldn’t believe he answered me. Kiia was up before me after the night we had, and made her way, with Hank, to the local radio station to start their media tour.

I dialed the number. I hadn’t called it since 2017. This was the biggest leap of faith I’d taken in my life.

“Hello?”

His voice had barely changed since I last saw him.

“Hey, Kevin, this is Cy.”

“Well, I figured as much. I was a little shocked to see a text from you of all people at eleven o’clock at night.”

“Sorry about that, I got a call from my boss with a small crisis, and I needed to get working on a solution ASAP.”

“I know how that is. So, I’m guessing you need one of my services.”

“Yeah…”

He should have been the easiest person to ask this from.

“I know how busy your practice has been, but would you be able to do a ten week stadium tour?”

I couldn’t believe I was asking him this.

“You know, that depends–” I cut him off.

“We would do it as a full Beyond the Realms reunion, pay split equally, and the tour is already basically sold out.”

I heard him choke on the other end.

“Yeah…I’d do it if the others are willing. If you or Tony talk to Richie, make sure he knows I’m on board. I know he’s salty about how things went, but he can’t be too much of a bitch if I’m coming back.”

“Thank you, Kevin. I’ll let you know how the calls go.”

“I look forward to it,” the joy was obvious as he ended the call.

One call down with one to go.

I dialed Tony’s number.

“Cy?”

“Yeah, this is me.”

“What do you want?”

“I need you for the summer tour with Ozean Horizon.”

“Do you need a co-headliner?”

“No, I either need an opener or a Hail Mary.”

“If I’m opening, who’s second on the bill?”

“Me.”

There was silence on the other end.

“Wow, you’re willing to do a comeback tour because Axcess and A Warm Place screwed you over?”

His voice softened for as kind of a criticism as he could muster.

“Isn’t that overkill?”

“Yeah, but I can’t take a risk on empty seats for Kiia, I mean OH’s headlining run.”

“So, I am available, and under these conditions I’ll do it, but what’s your Hail Mary?”

“Co-Headlining bill for the first time: Beyond the Realms and Ozean Horizon.”

“You know there’s no way that will ever hap–” I cut him off.

“Kevin’s in.”

I heard the clatter of Tony’s phone against the floor through his microphone. I had a poor relationship with Richie, yes, but Tony and Kevin weren’t on speaker terms before the end of BTR.

“He knows that it would be the four of us, right?”

“Yeah, and Tony, he didn’t even mention you.”

“I guess I’ll call Richie and see if he’ll have a meeting with us when you get back after the current tour.”

“Thanks, I would appreciate that.”

We hung up, and I was feeling better about everything.

***

Sometime in the afternoon I got a text from Tony and Borgen. Everyone involved in BTR agreed to meet in Boston on May 30th to discuss whether this reunion would come to fruition. Two more weeks on the road with OH before then felt like paradise.

Despite the details not being completely ironed out for the summer tour, the label did announce there would be a change in support acts. Our ticketing and promoting partners were not subtle about including my silhouette on their poster. I did commit to replacing Axcess on the bill, at this point it was just a matter of in what capacity.

I was ready to get ribbed in the meeting about how much more money I would make if it was just me supporting since a backing band is paid a set rate rather than at an even split of the gross profit.

Regardless, I was struggling with the mental block about performing again. I overcame the first mental hurdles with OH, but it was different from what happened in 2019. I knew I needed to face that before I could truly resolve this summer touring issue.

At 9pm, Kiia and Nate returned to the hotel from their media misadventures. This was another one of the rigors of touring as we were boarding the bus to make it to Denver for the show the following night. Normally, we wouldn’t schedule something like this, but the Dallas stop in August was the largest venue on the tour at 80,000. Most of the smaller stadium shows were already sold out, but Dallas was only at about seventy percent.

Kiia melted into my arms in our cot on the bus. It was clear that she was spent from fourteen hours of social interaction. Regardless of where we slept, we drifted into our nightly routine of me cuddling her to sleep, her head on my chest, waning to the sound of my heartbeat.

Before she could go completely under, she stirred to ask, “How did your calls go this morning?”

“They went really well…I have a meeting in Boston after the tour to see if my dream will become real,” I whispered, trying to lull her to sleep.

“Are you going to open for us?” she asked, fading. “I can’t wait to see you play again.”

“Yeah,” my voice lowered even more. “No matter what, I’m going to play before you every night…”

“Are you afraid?”

“Yeah, but we can talk about that later…you need to sleep, beautiful. There are two weeks and nine shows left on your first arena tour.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she tried to fight her tiredness as the weight of the day had pulled her under.

I’d never told anyone what happened that night in Madrid. Borgen and Tony knew what happened that night, but we never spoke of it. Everyone around me pretended it never happened, that by ignoring it they would be absolved of their guilt in it. I knew, deep down, if I faced Kiia about it, I would be able to move on.