???? Obtained!

“Accident? What acci-Ow!”

I started feeling my head and remembered it was bandaged, wow I really did get a concussion. At least now I have an excuse, time to extract some information.

“Yeah, come to think of it, I don't know you. Who are you? Who am I? Where is this? Are there any horse girl-”

“Wait bro, please you’re gonna make my head split. That and I’m still recoiling after you threw me into a wall.”

“Fair enough…that said, WHAT IS MY NAME! PLEASE DON’T TELL ME IT’S SOMETHING STUPID LIKE UR’GAK OR YUR’DIKK!”

“...What, heavens no! Your name is Rodney, wow big bro you really don’t remember at all do you.”

That’s good, my name isn’t stupid at least. It’s strange though that my name is so human. Actually, let’s test that theory.

“What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Phil! Oh no, Big bro you really did forget about me!”

Alright so this human name thing isn’t so weird, let’s keep investigating this for now.

“Sorry for the trouble Phil, and for now could you call me by my name. It might help me remember things a bit clearly.”

“No worries Big-I mean Rodney! Besides, it’s not your fault this happened. I was the one who caused this, please let me remind you of what I did.

****

Phil filled me in on the details of how this all happened, he was tasked with transporting materials and I came along to watch him for obvious reasons. Everything was shelved, and right when he thought we reached the finish line, Phil started to dance in celebration. The result was him bumping one of the shelves and almost getting caught under it. I-No, Rodney ran to him and pushed him out of the way. Phil got up to see his wounded friend caught under the shelf. In a panic he ran over and started trying to lift the shelf, but it was impossible. Some of the guys came in after hearing the commotion and saw Rodney bleeding heavily and Phil crying his eyes out. After that Phil got reprimanded harshly, but besides a stern talking to, he didn’t receive any heavier punishments. After all he already was punished, his stupidity nearly caused him to lose his best friend. How do I tell this guy the truth? That his friend died and that I have his body now?

“Hey, Rodney? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. So you don’t need to cry anymore okay. That’s how you can repay me for almost killing me back there.”

Phil got caught off guard for a moment, I guess he didn’t assume I’d bring it up. I’m guessing Rodney in the past probably would’ve told him it’s fine, but things aren’t the same this time around. Phil still carries airs of guilt, that’s why I’m choosing to reinforce the fact that he needs to be stronger. This is my way of showing I have faith in him, and hold him accountable.

“...I understand, it might be hard at first Rodney but I promise you that from this point on I’m not crying at all.”

“Excellent, my little crybaby has become a man!”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of-Wait a minute, we don’t have time to chat! We gotta get to work!”

“What!?! But I just recovered!”

I didn’t have room to argue, Phil grabbed my hand and forced me up. Immediately I felt jolts as I began to move, which makes sense considering that this body wasn’t mine to begin with. Phil led me to the tarp covered entrance to the shed we were in, upon exiting I finally accepted that this wasn’t Earth anymore. Giant ladybugs, birds with two beaks, walking trees, and other phantasmal beasts awaited my eyes. What kind of fantastic world have I been sent to?

“Oh Rod! Are you feeling better?”

I looked over to see some goblins wearing what looked like turtle shells on their heads, they were carrying lumber and hammers. I guess they work in construction, as for where we are allow me to explain. I don’t know about the world that much, after all Phil barely knows the basics himself. What I do know is that this is a base camp for a squad in the Demon King’s army, monsters and devils of all shapes and sizes are working together to keep the operation up and running. Most members can choose their roles, but for goblins like us-

“Hey Rodney, they’re talking to you.”

“Right! Sorry guys, my memory’s a little hazy after I received that blow to the head.”

“No worries, that said you got a week's work ahead of you. The captain expects your yield to match the time you spent off.”

“That’s a bit much isn’t it?”

“You’re telling me, anyways good luck to you guys!”

The chubby goblin with his makeshift hard hat and his buds headed off towards the wall of the base, apparently it got damaged in a rain storm from before. As for me and Phil, we headed to our usual work station.

****

“*Huff Huff* You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Wow Bi-Rodney! I’m surprised you’re actually putting in more effort than usual!”

“You don’t say?”

The department me and Phil work under is agriculture, it’s our job to make sure the base has the resources it needs so we can all survive. In particular, right now I’m tilling the soil so we can plant crops. As expected, that's a difficult task with baby arms like these. Every few swings, I catch myself gasping for air.

“Hey Rodney, you just woke up so if you have any questions please let me know?”

“Sure thing!”

I took another swing, however this time I felt something weird in my pelt. I found myself digging around in there, I checked near my rear to find a strange gem stone. Wow this looks expensive, it smells weird though. Still, this is a pretty good find if you ask me. I wonder if this is useful, I’ll ask Phil about this. Where is Phil, oh he’s over there with-WHAT THE HELL! In front of Phil was a creature notorious in the fantasy genre, a Minotaur! The guy wore shoulder pads and carried an axe on his back, his eyes were brown and his chin hair was in a braid. It doesn’t look like their conversation is important so I’ll go ask, I walked up to Phil and called out to him. He froze when I called him, but I asked anyway.

“Hey Phil, I found this in my pelt. I think it could be valuable, what do you think?”

After hearing my question and seeing what I had in my hands, Phil’s jaw dropped. As for the Minotaur, he closed his eyes for a breath moment. I also noticed a giant white balloon entity standing behind the Minotaur, for some reason his face is red and he looks like he’s about to explode. Did I do something wrong? Before I could put my thoughts into words, the Minotaur broke the silence.

“Worker Rodney, I get that you have a head injury, but what reason do you have to show us your shit?”

“Huh, don’t be silly this isn’t poo it’s a gemstone.”

“Rodney…”

“Yes Phil?”

“Monster stools often come out as stones like that.”

...So that’s why it smells weird, so that means I’ve been walking around with shit caught in my pelt. THAT’S DISGUSTING! Oh my god, didn’t they clean my body! Wait, that means I just showed these guys my…

...I want to die now. Great, now I look like a complete dumbass. Can this get any wor-

“I understand you’re feeling a bit sluggish, but showing your feces to your superior, not to mention to the very captain of this base.”

“Huh?”

“Rodney, standing before you is Captain Torres. He’s in charge of the Taurus base camp, and standing behind him is our Head of Supplies, Glint Ghast.”

“...Oh Crap.”

Looks like I just made a fool of myself in front of our bosses. Well, at least this can’t-

“To show me such a thing when I was worried about you. You’re one cheeky son of a bitch!”

“Captain, please forget my previous pleas about this fool's health. EXECUTE HIM AT ONCE!”

“Don’t mind if I do Headmaster Ghast, now then- COME HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!”

The captain immediately lifted me and stared me in the eyes, oh dear god! My life is gonna end when it just began!