Departure

A red guppy was playing tag with a black guppy. My eyes followed them as they swam around the tank, passing by the plant and going under the stone bridge before emerging again.

I was checking on my little fishies before I left for Italy, making sure that nothing was wrong with them, the tank, or the oxygen pump, before I headed out. Nothing seemed to be a problem; they still lived without a care in the world just as usual.

Knowing that I didn’t have to worry about it, I sprinkled some pellets into the tank, watching the little fishes feed on them as if they were having a feast after a long drought, even though I’ve never missed feeding them even for a day for the last six months. That streak would end today, unfortunately.

These little guppies had been with me for almost three years. I’d gotten them because I wanted to fill this space in my living room. For weeks, I looked for any kind of decoration that was not too big and not too small, not too boring and not too bizarre.

The hunt ended when I went to a pet store. I was window shopping around the mall and happened to see the saw, thought it was interesting and went in.

Inside, there were normal pets like dogs, cats, hamsters, bunnies, and a little more exotic ones like lizards and snakes. The aquatic pet section of the store caught my eye the most, or to be more precise, the goldfish. They were swimming with their fat bellies and flowy tails to the meal that the worker sprinkled into the tank.

The tank was decorated minimally with a blanket of white sand as its flooring, one aquatic plant to the side and a rock across from it.

It was wonderful to see those little fish swimming inside a miniature space; it felt as if I was observing a microbiome, and it reminded me of the space in my living room.

I didn’t have to measure to know that the tank this size would be too large, so I asked the worker if there was a smaller tank, spacing out my hand to show the size I wanted, to which the worker walked me to it.

It was a fifty liter tank, complete with a light bulb inside the top. I asked if I could keep gold fish in this, to which the worker said that it would be too small and pointed me towards the guppies and the endlers, since they were smaller and easier for beginners to keep.

I decided to go with the guppy for no particular reason and bought everything the worker recommended to me to start my first tank. I was probably being tricked into buying things I didn’t need, but I didn’t care. Money wasn’t my problem.

The store offered to deliver them to my place since it was a big order. And three days later, it arrived. I bought them inside and spent all day setting everything up with the help of online guides. After all of that was done, I put the fish into my tank. The dinner I had that evening felt especially delicious as I watched my hard work swim around the tank.

They seemed to have magic properties because whenever I felt frustrated, my eyes would be drawn to them, and watching them swim around would calm me as if those little fishies got me hypnotized.

As I was reminiscing about the past, my phone dinged. I pulled it up and read the message.

“I’m here.”

It was from Lena. I headed to the entrance and welcomed her in.

“Thanks for coming by.”

“It’s okay.” She shook her head. “I’m not that busy.”

I’d called her over to keep an eye on my fish, or to be more precise, my automatic feeder. I wasn’t cruel enough to make her come over and feed my fish every day. I’d set the automatic feeder to feed the fish every day for a certain amount; it should take around two weeks or so for it to run out of the food, that’s when Lena would come over and refill it. I would be gone for three months or so, which meant that she would have to come over around five to six times to refill the feeder.

I showed Lena the cupboard where I kept the fish pellet and how to refill the feeder. Nothing too complicated since I had already set the feeder, all she had to do was simply put the food into the drum and screw it back on.

“Well, that’s it really. Did you get all that?”

She nodded.

“Thanks for taking care of them.”

“No problem. I would hate to see them die.”

Lena watched the fish swimming in the tank. It seemed like she was mesmerized by them.

“How long have you kept them for?” She asked without taking her eyes off the tank.

“Almost three years, I think.”

“Wow, that’s long...”

A brief silence was enough for a question to brew inside her head, and so she turned to me and asked:

“When you have to go away for a long time like this, who do you normally call to take care of them?”

“That would be my aunt.”

“...So, why me this time?”

“I just wanted an excuse to see you. That’s all.”

Hearing my answer, Lena smiled as she rubbed her ear, turning her attention to the guppies to hide her fluster from me, I assumed.

I glanced at the clock to check the time.

‘I should head to the airport soon...’ There was still a lot of time until my flight, but thinking about all sorts of security checks I would have to go through was enough to make me exhausted.

“It’s about time I have to go now.”

I grabbed a key from my purse.

“Here’s my key.”

And handed it to her. Because how else would she enter my place? I wasn’t about to let her enter by lockpicking the door, nor would I leave my door unlocked.

She accepted it, and inspected it.

“‘Your’ key? Not a copy?”

“Yep.”

“How will you enter your house then?”

“Like I said before.”

It took a few seconds for her to realize what I meant. And when she did, she nodded with a light smile as she gripped the key with both of her hands.

I wrapped my hands around Lena, tightening them around her torso, and she responded in kind. I pulled back slightly, my arms still around her because I didn’t want to let go of her yet.

“I’m gonna miss you, Rachel.”

“You can call me whenever you feel like seeing me.”

Savoring the touch of her body, I stared into her gray eyes; it was almost like they had a mysterious force that drew my eyes towards them. No words were exchanged between us as I moved in closer, and closer, and closer, until...

Her lips were soft. I read somewhere that first kiss tasted like lemon, but that wasn’t true at all. Besides, the taste wasn’t the important part of it; it was the burning sensation of her lips that lit a cloud of fog in my head and sent an electric jolt down my spine.

Only when I felt Lena’s breath brush against my upper lip did I realize what I’d done. I pulled myself back suddenly. Lena stood there, frozen, her widened eyes stared back at me and her face flushed red. She didn’t seem to hate it, just surprised at what I did.

“I uh... W-Well, s-see you later!”

I walked out of the house without hearing her response out of sheer embarrassment, but I had to come back because I needed to lock up, and Lena was still inside.

“Um... I had to lock the house so...”

“Right! Right...”

She then walked over to me, and I locked the front door. I didn’t know what to say after what I’d done, nor was I planning to, not before I made up an excuse, at least.

“See you later... For real this time.”

“Y-Yeah, see you.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see that Lena was still flustered from what I did. I’d always thought that she looked cute in this kind of state, one where she tried to hide her reddened face and rubbed the back of her ear to calm down. So cute in fact that it made me want to kiss her more. And since it happened already, doing it for a second time should be fine... right?

That train of thought arrived at its destination, and without even a second gone by, it got put to use.

I leaned close to Lena, giving her another kiss, this time on her cheek, before I hurriedly walked away without looking back at her. I wasn’t brave enough to show her my expression, and I assumed that to be true for Lena as well. So me leaving right away was the best decision for both of us, flustered people.

As I waited for a cab, I thought about my little guppies swimming around in the tank. The thought calmed me down, but still wasn’t enough to subside the excited nervousness in my heart. Maybe I needed to add more fish to the tank so that their calming effect would be more efficient.