White Day

*RING*

The school bell rings, signaling the end of the school day, but for Kasumi, it feels more like an alarm telling her to act. Her fingers caress the case hidden in her desk, its cold metal making her sweat.

“Come on, Kasumi, just give it to her,” she whispers to herself.

“But does it have to be today?” she thinks.

“Yes, it has to be today,” she whispers, arguing with herself. “Even if it wasn’t White Day, she leaves for her trip tomorrow morning, so—”

“So there’s time to give it tomorrow morning then?” Kasumi groans as her fingers clench the case and her toes curl. Her inner voice isn’t wrong; she can theoretically give it to her in the morning. But that would require her to wake up early on a Saturday. Furthermore, if she does miss it, then Momo will be gone for the last week of school and then the first week of spring break.

“No, it has to be today!” Kasumi whispers. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and releases it as she clenches her fist.

“What has to be today?” says a voice, snapping Kasumi out of her focus. She opens her eyes and sees Momo, the object of her debate, kneeling so their eyes are level. Kasumi has been so engrossed in her own thoughts that she hasn’t noticed the time passing. What she’d thought was a few moments between now and the bell ringing is actually a few minutes. The rest of the class has bailed, leaving just Momo and Kasumi alone in the otherwise empty classroom.

“AH!” Kasumi yips, nearly jumping out of her skin.

*BAM*

Her knees rocket into the underside of her desk, sending it rumbling forward. In a panic, Kasumi grabs it with both arms, only to overcorrect and tilt it too far back. The contents of her desk spill out onto her lap and onto the floor.

“Well, someone’s on edge today,” Momo says, reaching to pick up the scattered papers and books from Kasumi’s desk.

“No, don’t!” Kasumi screams internally as Momo’s fingers draw closer to a heart-shaped tin buried in papers.

“Did you not do well on your final? We studied together, so I can’t imagine you’d—”

“Stop!” Kasumi says, reaching down to snatch the tin just as Momo’s hand reaches for it. She misses the timing, though, and instead of grabbing the tin before Momo, all Kasumi does is press Momo’s hand onto the tin. Seeing Kasumi’s reaction and feeling the tin, Momo’s devious side takes over. Before Kasumi can react, Momo pulls her hand out.

“Oh, my, what’s this?” Momo asks, a teasing smile stretched from ear to ear.

“Ahh! Give it back!” Kasumi cries, almost falling out of her chair as she tries to snatch the tin away.

“Oh my, I’m not sure I can,” Momo says, standing straight. “I’m just so hurt that my best friend would keep something like this from me.”

“Come on, give it back!” Kasumi commands, raising her hand as high as she can to grab the tin. Momo’s longer arms make the task impossible as she continues her teasing monologue.

“This is a nice tin, too; must’ve been expensive.” Momo brings the tin closer to her eyes, getting a better look at the bright red-and-white striped pattern. “Oh, and there’s tape on it. That means you haven’t looked inside yet? Want to look together?”

“Just give it back,” Kasumi begs, anxiety pushing her to the brink of tears. Momo notices her friend’s distress, and her smile dims.

“Okay, here,” Momo says, relaxing her posture. “I’m surprised… I didn’t know you gave anyone chocolate on Valentine’s Day.” She holds the tin out to Kasumi, but Kasumi doesn’t take it. Kasumi stands, arms stiff at her side, lips trembling. “Hey, don’t be upset,” Momo says, thinking she’s teased Kasumi too far. “Sorry about teasing you… Though I guess now you can gloat a bit about getting more than an obligation gift for White Day.” Momo reaches for Kasumi’s hand, placing the tin in it, but Kasumi’s hands remain limp.

Momo panics for a moment, concerned that she’s overstepped and distressed Kasumi. Kasumi’s eyes are downcast and covered by her bangs so that Momo can’t see her expression.

“You…” Kasumi murmurs, voice so faint Momo can hardly hear it.

“Huh?” Momo asks, her teasing grin replaced by an inquisitive stare.

“For you…” Kasumi mumbles, repeating herself. Her fingers tighten around the tin, but her voice is still too quiet for Momo to understand.

“What about it?” Momo asks, only growing more confused by Kasumi’s fidgeting and mumbling. Her mind races for an explanation, her mouth left gaping when she comes up with one.

“Don’t tell me the boy she likes asked her to give this to me on his behalf!” Momo thinks. Her hands begin to tremble, her heart pounding out of her chest, and her mouth dries like a desert. Before Momo can think about what to do, Kasumi acts.

“IT’S FOR YOU!” she screams, thrusting her arms out and shoving the tin into Momo’s chest. The cold metal jams into her sternum, causing Momo to reflexively clutch the tin and step back. Kasumi’s feet remain planted, fists trembling at her sides as her eyes remain focused on her shoes.

“I gave it to her,” Kasumi thinks, trying to calm her racing heart. “I gave it to her, so now…” Her left hand subconsciously reaches for her school bag to make a getaway. As her hand moves, her eyes look up for just a moment, too curious to run without seeing Momo’s expression. Momo’s face is contorted and confused.

“How do I handle this?” she thinks, mind running in circles. “Who could’ve asked Kasumi to do this? Nobody’s talked to her all day, so it must’ve been before class began.” But nobody comes to mind.

Her mind races so much that she almost doesn’t notice Kasumi’s hand reaching for her bag. Ever so slowly, Kasumi’s fingers wrap around the straps, as if she’s preparing to run off without another word.

“No,” Momo thinks, her mind blocking out all other thoughts except for saving Kasumi. “I won’t let it end like this!”

*CLACK*

Kasumi nearly jumps at the sudden sound, her hand retracting to her side as she looks ahead. Momo has purposely slammed the tin onto the desk next to her so hard that the tin dents on the side.

“No!” she declares, lifting her hands from the tin. “I don’t accept it.”

“Huh?” Kasumi asks, shocked and curious in equal measure.

“Is she rejecting them? She is! She’s rejecting me, isn’t she?” Kasumi thinks, her heart sinking into her shoes.

“If he won’t give them to me properly, then I won’t accept them.”

“Who?” Kasumi asks, genuinely confused at Momo’s words.

“Don’t back down now,” Momo thinks, taking a breath to gather her resolve.

“I don’t know who it was, and I don’t care,” she says, taking a step toward Kasumi. Momo reaches down, taking Kasumi’s hands in hers and holding them firmly. “If he can’t give me the return gift himself and properly get his feelings across, then how could I ever return those feelings?”

“Whose feelings?” Kasumi asks, more confused now than nervous.

“The boy who asked you to give me these sweets,” Momo declares, her confidence matched only by the depth of her misunderstanding.

Kasumi’s mind runs just as quickly, caught between the right and wrong conclusions. She weighs both in her mind. No matter how she thinks about it, going with Momo’s misunderstanding is the safe option. Knowing her, Momo will never ask who gave her the tin, and they can move on as if nothing happened.

“We can maintain our relationship, just as it is now; nothing less than best friends, but never anything more…”

“You’re…” Kasumi begins, preparing to use her old, reliable strategy: running away.

“It’s fine; I can run,” she thinks, unsure why her throat is closing as quickly as she’s opened her lips. “Running’s kept me safe; it’s kept me from being hurt; it’s kept me from… having the relationship I want with her.”

“YOU’RE WRONG!” The words burst from Kasumi before she can think of an escape path. She grips Momo’s rough, archery-calloused hands and stares up at her wide eyes.

“I’m not running away from my feelings anymore,” Kasumi thinks, gathering her resolve. “I have to make sure she understands.”

“When we were making Valentine’s chocolate together… I got upset when I didn’t see a bag with my name on it… I was so upset that I avoided you and even threw away the chocolate I’d gotten for you. But despite that, you chased after me. You kept trying for my sake, even when I made it hard for you.” Momo’s hands seem to pull away, but Kasumi clings to them all the tighter, practically squeezing them as she speaks. “You… You make me feel… special. Ever since that first day we met. You never stopped trying to get over my walls, and now I…” Her voice catches; she isn’t sure she’s taken a breath in minutes, or if Momo can hear over the thundering of her heart.

“Am I really going to say it all?” Kasumi thinks, hesitating. “Even though I’m not really sure myself?” She could’ve stopped; she hasn’t said anything that doesn’t apply to a cherished friend. But Kasumi can no longer lie to herself and say that’s all Momo is to her.

“I can’t imagine my life without you. Momo, I—”

“Kasumi!” Momo says, cutting Kasumi off. Momo’s face is flushed, cheeks as red as the stripes on the tin, and her hands tremble like the last leaf in the fall breeze. Her heart is racing, and her brain is a puddle in her skull.

“Kasumi… I…” She doesn’t know what to say, but she knows she has to stop Kasumi before she says something that can’t be unsaid. “I have to go finish packing,” she settles on, pulling her hands away from Kasumi’s.

She strides to her desk, clutching her school bag with trembling hands. Her breath is ragged, and her uniform is soaked with sweat. Her hand reaches out for the front sliding door, fingers close enough to be snapped by built-up static electricity, then pulls back. She turns to the back of the room, where Kasumi stands stone-still, eyes vacant, hands stretched out in front of her as if she is still holding Momo’s.

“I shouldn’t,” Momo thinks, even as her feet turn. “Don’t give her false hope.”

She strides to the back row. As her footsteps echo in the room, Kasumi finally looks up, eyes half-filled with tears. Momo keeps her eyes down, never meeting Kasumi’s gaze as she scoops up the tin. She holds it tightly to her chest and turns away. She marches toward the back door, stopping just in front of it.

“I’ll make sure to enjoy whatever’s inside,” Momo says, without turning. “After all, they’re a gift from…” Her pause makes Kasumi’s heart stop. She leans in, ears straining to hear the following words out of Momo’s lips. “From the girl I…” Momo stops, forming and reforming the sentence in her mind, searching for the right words. “Cherish the most.”

With that, Momo exits the classroom, leaving Kasumi to soak in her words.

Down the hall, Momo rests around a corner. She opens the tin to reveal orange macarons. Their deformed shape is proof enough that Kasumi made them herself. Popping one in her mouth, Momo picks up a single flavor as she chews.

“Peach,” she thinks, swallowing despite the flavor. “My least favorite flavor.”