Chapter Four Part 1

Yuya was lucky, because as soon as they got home, his brother let him go. And after a quick greeting, he ran up to his room and closed the door behind him. He knew it was a bad decision, that his mother would question him about it, and bring up that he should apologize for yesterday, even if he hadn't done anything wrong. But Hokuto always manipulated events so that Yuya came out looking bad. He hated himself for being so weak and cowardly, for not daring to stand up to his brother or his father, but he was terribly afraid. He knew if he did, the situation would get worse. And if anyone found out about it, his life at home would become hell. Not that everything hadn't been bad, terrible, and oppressive until now, but if it came out how his family treated him, everything would only get worse than the current situation.

He knew he had a little time now, because his brother was probably describing his day to their mother. Of course, well embellished, and the boy was sure he would include him. Just as he was aware that his father had already learned that he hadn't gone to P.E. again. He would call him all sorts of pathetic nobody, who couldn't even run a few laps on the track or do a few push-ups. Then he would come up with something, why he hadn't exercised. A sudden illness could always strike, for example, from some food or drink.

But he decided he would deal with the problem when it arose. He packed up, then changed. He chose a simple, dark tracksuit and a cream-colored, long-sleeved shirt that covered his injuries. He didn't want to show them off, because even if he had said his brother had beaten him, his parents wouldn't have believed him. In their eyes, Hokuto was perfect, irreproachable and uniquely intelligent, an excellent student and athlete, handsome, friendly, and polite. The child every parent desires. A real jackpot, only Yuya knew that the real Hokuto couldn't be further from this ideal. Yes, his brother was indeed smart, and handsome too, but that was it. He kept his friends for self-interest and only dated his girlfriend because her father was in a suitable position. Of course, this reminded him of the notification about the Parent-Teacher meeting, and Yuya's stomach immediately cramped up. But he had to hand it to his father, listening to another thunderous outburst about how stupid it was to go to all this, when he, meaning Yuya, was just a useless nobody, for whom even going to school was a great favor. However, he couldn't hide the paper, tear it up, or deny it, because his father would have found out sooner or later. The homeroom teacher would surely have called his parents to inquire why they hadn't come to the meeting. So he had no choice but to dig out the neatly folded paper and, taking a deep breath, started downstairs, when he heard the sound of his father's car. He steeled himself and tried to prepare for everything.

~*~

"Parent-Teacher meeting!" Yuya's father looked at the paper as if it conveyed something terrible. "Now I have to leave earlier, even though we're in the middle of a big project. But your mother is just as useless in such situations as you are," he looked at his son. Yuya cringed and listened obediently, head bowed.

"Perhaps I could go, then you wouldn't have to deal with such things, Dad," Hokuto offered, but Kentaro waved him off.

"You have enough to do at university, and the Halloween Party is coming soon. Your exams are also approaching, it's better if you focus on those," his father said. "If you want to keep your scholarship, you can't afford to relax! Not like that one there," he poked Yuya, who was rather fixated on the food on his plate.

He had gotten used to the tone; his father hadn't spoken kindly to him since he was ten, and his brother had been beating and tormenting him in every way he could since then. Their mother said nothing, as appearances had to be maintained. Even if she knew what was going on between her sons, she didn't interfere, as if nothing was happening in the house. Yuya knew,that he couldn't count on anyone but himself, but he couldn't do anything. In his own way, he loved his family and wanted to protect them. He knew that if he reported them, an investigation would start, his father would be fired, his brother's scholarship would be lost, and his mother would be out on the street. Although he knew exactly that he was a victim of abuse, he was afraid to act because he didn't want his family to suffer.

"I'm just saying, if Yuya doesn't pull himself together, I won't have to pay tuition from spring," Kentaro announced, making Yuya tremble. "He can go to work, then he'll learn that he can't just laze around all day as he pleases. But we'll give it another try, maybe he'll straighten up."

"I doubt it," Hokuto shook his head. "This little good-for-nothing will never change. I told you not to let him apply. After Junior-high, you should have sent him to work. You're just wasting money on High-school, and he's not even studying at a very good school. He couldn't even get into the right High-school. Sometimes I wonder if he's really my brother, or if he was swapped at the hospital back then."

Yuya didn't say a word, he was used to his father and brother talking about him as if he wasn't even there. He didn't matter, but the thought of work terrified him. He knew that would mean his father would find him a job, and then he could hand over his salary at home, "so he wouldn't waste it on foolish things." Then he wouldn't have time for photography and listening to podcasts, and every minute of his time would be scheduled. He trembled at the thought of this possibility and didn't like it at all.

However, Yuya didn't say a word, he didn't protest, because that would have only led to a fruitless argument anyway. Instead, he ate with his head down and pretended not to hear anything. As if he were alone, which was true. He couldn't count on anyone in his family, and he didn't really have friends at school either. At least not ones he would go home with, or invite over. He did have classmates he talked to, with whom he was more or less on good terms, but he wouldn't have called them friends. His only friends were his online acquaintances, scattered across many parts of Japan. Most of them, like him, struggled with problems at home or school, but they could talk about them online. Although he had never met most of them, they were more honest than those he had daily in-person contact with. Yuya finished eating and put down his chopsticks, just as he had been taught as a child.

"Thank you for dinner," he said, then stood up.

His father and Hokuto looked at him as if they had only just noticed he was present. But Yuya didn't care, it was best if they treated him as if he wasn't there. He bowed to the others, then headed towards his room. His studies awaited him, as he didn't want to fail his exams. He always achieved very good results on tests, sometimes he only thought that perhaps he could do more. But his father's sharp and cruel words, and his brother's behavior, had already severely damaged his self-confidence. That weekend, he decided to study even more, and the library in Ikebukuro was the most suitable place for this, being only three stops away on the JR Line from Shin-Okubo, where Yuya's family lived. He could study much better there than at home, where he was in plain sight and exposed to harassment from either his father or his brother. Or his mother's indifference, who never did anything to protect her own child from the atrocities. As he walked towards his room, he still heard his parents and brother talking, but he didn't care what they were saying. He knew it was most likely about him. All three of them were deceitful imposters who put on an act in front of others. Yuya never knew whether to feel pity or anger towards them, or perhaps both at once. And they took out their anger and frustration on him, because they knew he wouldn't dare to fight back. Which was true, at least for now, but Yuya had long ago decided that as soon as he could, he would leave this house,where since his early childhood he has received nothing but scolding and beatings. However, it seemed his father didn't know about the skipped double PE class, which somewhat calmed Yuya's nerves.