Explanations

October 6th - Kimura Kiyomi

When I woke up it took me a moment to realize I was at home in my own bed. Then a wave of panic washed over me as I tried in vain to lift myself up from and get out of bed. Then I saw my mom kneeling beside the bed.

“It's alright Kiyo. Noone is hurt,” my mother said in a soft voice.

“So Suzuki and Reiko are fine?” I was relived, but I wanted to be sure.

“Oh yes, Reiko was the one who called me after everything was over. She told me she was supposed to run away, but she stayed in the school building and when the sky went back to normal she looked for you and found you on the roof. She also knows about everything now, I figured there was no point in keeping it a secret from her.”

I fell back into the bed and looked at the ceiling. So everything worked out fine in the end.

“And what about Suzuki. Is he awake?” I wondered how bad is condition was after the attack he defeated the Eiswind with.

“He was already awake again when I arrived and he seemed quite distressed upon your condition.”

My mother said that in a certain tone of voice and I couldn't help but blush, which seemed to amuse her.

“He told me what happened. What you Managed to pull of was pretty impressive for the first time.”

Up until now her voice sounded very informal, but what she said next sounded a lot more serious.

“But you both could have died. You probably already realized that you transferred a lot of energy to Suzuki and Suzuki burned a lot of it using an attack he couldn't really control. Both things can strain the body so much it might not recover.”

“I know. We held hands because we didn't know what else to do and then it was like we were chained together and couldn't let go of each other.” Saying that made me blush again. Why did I say it like that?

“Suzuki already told me. This is a well known phenomena and it's called Manalock. It happens when the flow of Mana starts unconsciously. Because then it's very hard to stop it consciously if that makes sense,” my mother explained to me.

“And how did we Manage to stop it then?”

She hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words.

“I don't know exactly. But my best guess is that if you start unconsciously, you also end it unconsciously. But of course that's very unreliable and can lead to dire consequences.”

“And how do you do it properly?” I asked. We probably had to do it again in the future.

My mother hesitated again. I could see how she was struggling with herself. It seemed like she had made a decision, but had a hard time coming to terms with it. Finally she answered.

“I'm going to teach you,” was all she said.

“But didn't you say we should not get involved?”

“I did. But as you saw, it's no use. It's coming whether I want it to or not. And if I let you two walk into it unprepared your dea...” she suddenly stopped mid sentence and covered her face with her hands. Only minutes before she seemed in high spirits, but now she displayed a similar desperation as the time Suzuki showed up at our house.

“Thank you,” was all I could say.

“It's alright. Do you want to see Suzuki and Reiko now?” In a heartbeat she seemed to be in high spirits again and smiled at me. I was glad to see it, but at the same time I knew it was just a mask.

“Yes, please.” I was happy to leave it at that and I really wanted to see them. My mother left my room and I was alone for a moment. For the first time since I had woken up I could think about what actually had happened on the roof. If that was only the beginning, what else was coming our way? But then I already heard a knock on my door and I told them to enter, which they did. Suzuki and Reiko kneeled beside my bed. Reiko seemed very worried and looked at me with big eyes. Suzuki seemed as unfazed as ever and seemed to look at the wall behind my bed.

“Are you alright?” Reiko finally said. Her voice sounded like I had never heard her sound before.

“I'm fine,” I answered. Which wasn't a lie at least. “Thank you for calling my mom.”

“Of course. I was so scared for you, but I had to go back to the roof. At first I couldn't even open the door because it was frozen, but then it suddenly worked again.”

“Maybe that happened when Suzuki defeated the monster,” I said and looked at Suzuki directly. He seemed to take notice as well and looked me in the eye for the first time.

“All the effects of the Eiswind disappear after it is destroyed, so the door should have functioned normally after that,” he said, matter of fact as always. Reiko was looking at him quizzically. Thinking about it she probably had never really heard him talk before, so his stilted way of speaking must have sounded quite odd to her.

“And what do we do now?” I asked Suzuki. He still knew more about all this than I did.

“We have to train in order to use our abilities better in order to be prepared for the next battle,” he answered, as stiff and by the book as ever. I felt irritated again.

“Can I help you in some way?” Reiko asked out of the blue.

“Your assistance won't be necessary,” was Suzukis blunt response. Now Reiko looked a little bit shocked. Apparently she didn't expect him to be so direct about it.

“But... when you two have to fight I wish...” Reiko couldn't even finish her sentence.

“Since you don't have any abilities your cooperation is meaningless for the success of our mission,” Suzuki said. Now Reiko looked like she was close to being in tears.

“Reiko...” I tried to touch and maybe console her but then she suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Now I couldn't take it anymore and with a swift movement I slapped Suzuki in the face. I was genuinely angry now. Suzuki didn't seem to anticipate my anger and my hand hit him right in the face, making a admittedly very satisfying slapping sound. He seemed startled for a second before he finally looked me in the eye. He didn't seem to understand anything. Or he pretended to at least.

“Why are you this way?” I asked him, without really expecting an answer.

“What you you mean? I merely stated the facts to her. There was nothing wrong with what I said.”

He said that in his usual indifferent tone of voice and now my anger really boiled over.

“You braindead moron. Why do you have to treat her this way? She wanted to support us in any way she can and you just acted like she was dead weight.” I looked him straight in the eye the whole.

“But she is dea...” This time I didn't let him finish his sentence and I slapped him again. But now my anger turned into something else all the sudden and I felt like crying all of the sudden.

“I can't do this Suzuki.” I barely could hold back the tears now.

“I don't understand,” Suzuki answered and I had no doubt about it to be honest.

“You always act like you are some kind of sphinx that doesn't want to give any emotion away. But I saw you smile yesterday. I really liked that. But now I'm not sure I can stand being in the same room with you when you are like this.”

Now he looked away from me and he sank his head. Now I was surprised. What kind of reaction was that? Then he suddenly stood up and his body stiffened and he walked out the room without saying anything more. I wanted to say something, but I was too surprised to think about anything to say. Shortly after he walked out, my mother came back into my room. She looked at me worriedly.

“Did you two have a fight?” She asked. I couldn't look her in the eye.

“I slapped him. Twice.” I finally said. My mother kneeled besides me again.

“And what did he do to deserve that?”

“He was harsh to Reiko. You must have seen her crying.”

“Yes, I did see that. But she didn't want to tell me why.”

“Because she offered to help us and he just told her she is useless to us. Even if he is right, I hated the way he said it and so I slapped him.” My mother nodded.

“I see. And that was all?” Apparently she knew there was more to this.

“Not really. I just hate the way he is so matter of fact in general. Like a robot. I saw him display emotion before, but he just doesn't want to admit it. It's infuriating.” Now my mother was the one to look into the distance. It seemed like she was already aware of what the situation was.

“I think I know why he is that way,” she said as she looked at me again. Now I was the one to look at her surprised once again.

“And what would the reason be?”

“The sun and the moon aren't supposed to fall in love with each other. I'm sure he was told to keep his distance from you and that's why he acts like that.”

“But you said you fell...”

“Yes and that was never supposed to happen.”

“But why? What is the problem with falling in love if you have to try to work together so closely anyway?” I genuinely didn't understand why this would be a problem. My mother seemed to struggle with herself again about what to say.

“For whatever reason being in love interferes with our abilities,” she said in a very silent tone of voice. Suddenly I had a horrible thought.

“Was that why he...” I said hesitantly. Now my mother looked me straight in the eye again and I could see that she was on the verge of tears.

“Yes, Kyio. You are right. In our very last battle I couldn't give him enough Mana to execute the attack that was needed to kill our enemy. But he attacked anyway, exhausting his body to the point where it couldn't recover. It worked, but he paid the price.” Now she actually started to cry. I hesitated for a moment but then I hugged my mother and she hugged me back. Why did anyone have to go through something like that?

“Thanks for telling me mom.” We were still hugging each other and I didn't know what to do with this information. I was all too aware that I was probably already on my way to fall in love with Suzuki and I didn't know how to stop it. Should I tell my mom about this? I decided not to for the moment. It wouldn't help anything right now.

A while later I was alone in my room and I tried to fall asleep again, but of course it didn't work.

All my thoughts were of Suzuki and what the information my mother gave me meant for our future relationship. I didn't know how Suzuki felt about me and how this whole thing actually worked.

Did it only affect us when we both were in love? Or was it just me? Or him? Maybe I needed to talk with my mother some more, but I doubted even she would know the details. I also needed to talk to Reiko soon to apologize for his behavior. Since he sure wouldn't do it. Turning over these problems in my head, I finally fell asleep.