How I Got My Apartment (Part V)

The other thing which I was given was a very elegantly sown with red skin, tape measure casket a length of twenty and a thickness of more than three centimeters. In the center of it was a kind of round, wide brass axe, decorated in porcelain with cobalt-white-orange embroidery, in which was hidden double folded brass gear. 

On the spine of this device there was a slit cut open. Stuck out from it something in the shape of a wedding ring, to which was affixed the beginning of a thirty- or even fifty meter, strong yellow tape. 

On one side of the tape were printed inches, feet and yards, and on the other side centimeters, decameters, and meters. 

This device on its own was so beautiful and so perfectly designed as if to its creation contributed the hand of Cartier or even Faberge himself. To the last minute I held it at the bottom of my ZMP briefcase, wrapped in some rag and to that shoved into some sock. 

Additionally I checked regularly to make sure no one from this peasant crowd had gotten a chance to get their hands on it. My penultimate night in the PGR was a beautiful moon lit one, which even comradette Wanda romantically noted, when regretfully she had to return to her quarters, adding with certain pity that my bedding here was in no way appropriate for two people. 

Exactly instructed by Vinny, I knew that in order to locate precisely the buried suitcases, I had at both ends of the first, meaning the lowest, step of the conclave parade stairs, to find a metal, almost invisible hook, on which I was to attach the tape measure, and where I was to begin the tape measuring. 

Of course heeding the instructions given on the card, I began from the right side, meaning the north side. I pulled out the tape to sixteen meters and being careful so that the whole time there was no slack on the tape, I traced on the flowerbed a part of a circle, whose radius also automatically had to be exactly sixteen meters. 

The flowerbed had long ago lost all traces of its greatness, becoming a sort of hard earthen floor, where without interruption the kids played, cows were taken out, tractors were fixed and where often the drunks pissed, so I had no problem with tracing the circle, and I did it easily with the help of a large screwdriver. 

Next I moved to the left side of these giant stairs, meaning the south side. Again I placed on the hook the tape measure and again being careful so that the whole time there was no slack on the tape, on the previously drawn circle at the given distance of eight, eleven and fourteen meters I marked only the points of intersection. 

Each point I marked additionally by applying a few drops of ink from my ZMP fountain pen. No one saw me, and I was ready for the next day’s ground work.

The next day stood already as just a formality. It was Friday. After leading five whole lectures I discretely packed everything I needed from my official ZMP briefcase into my sports bag, leaving on the top a normal shirt with normal thin pants, after which I hid the bag under my bedding. 

Because most of the doors in the palace were torn off, you could get anywhere. In one room I hit on a surplus of shovels, picks and other tools for ground work. I picked and hid for myself the best shovel and the most appropriate pick. 

In the next two rooms there was a handy surplus of calcium and cement. There were also wheelbarrows, which were taken outside through large, broken out windows, frames and all, with the help of an incline created by doors leaning on the low parapet. 

Through this incline snuck inside herds of nanny goats together with their young as well as horribly smelling billy goats and until they were driven off they would stand on two legs and as if climbing on the wall, and ate whatever they could of the palace tapestry. 

And to this the billy goat with his horrible rotgut pissed everywhere within reach. These exotica made my forced stay at the PGR much more interesting. For these abject people nothing was important, except this that no longer lived here any bourgeoisie. 

This day the weather began to change. After the lectures it began to rain, the temperature fell, the wind picked up. 

It was looking to be a night full of adventure and when well after eleven comradette Wanda, mentioning still something about the ZMP’s Saturday festivities, belly aching and bemoaning, finally left my area, I could begin the real action.