Frightful Forest Fiend

“What’s the matter? You look like someone took your seat or something.” The elf leaned back and crossed her legs over my desk. The girls standing around her broke into giggles. Some of them couldn’t even look in my direction without cracking up.

There was no backing down now. I’d be even more of a laughing stock. Deep breath. You can do this Seishin, I told myself. “Good morning,” I said, taking a step toward her. Good. Smooth, even. I just needed to pretend I wasn’t bothered, and she’d leave me alone.

As if.

“Nice job running so fast yesterday,” She said. “Way to make the rest of us look like pasty nerds. You know, the coach made us do more laps after you left practice early. If I wanted to run so much, I would have applied to an actual warrior school.” More giggling.

So that’s what this was about. “Suppose I can’t blame you for being mad,” I mumbled. “From your point of view, I’m probably a dumb jock who lucked into the school you’ve worked hard for all your life.”

“Huh?” She stood and leaned uncomfortably close to me. “Speak up. You think just because I got these big ears that--Hold on a sec. What’s that smell?”

Suddenly, I was keenly aware that I hadn’t had time to take a bath before coming to school today. The smell was probably me.

As if to confirm my suspicions, she took a couple large sniffs. “What gives? You smell so frickin’ good.”

“I do?” It was a weird compliment, but coming from a girl like her, it made me kinda happy.

“Your mana, I mean. Yesterday, it smelled kinda fetid, but now it reminds me of lilies blooming in a forest glade. Back in Sylvoria, dark elves sometimes kidnap people with rich mana like yours.”

“Why do they do that?” I asked.

“No one knows for sure, but some people say they eat them. I always thought that was just a rumor, but now… I’m not so sure. I’m tempted to kidnap you for myself.”

“Please don’t.” My plea came out as a pitiful squeak, causing all the girls to laugh.

They stopped abruptly when another elf walked into the room. Except for her brown skin and black hair, she looked identical to the gyaru bullying me, right down to the loose socks. The only other difference was that she had her hair tied back in the classic elf braid.

The girls all scattered like kids caught with their hands in a cookie jar. Even the bully sat down at her own desk… right next to mine. She must’ve been one of the hiragana names. Akemi Anmori, if I remembered correctly. The dark elf sat down at the other desk next to me. That would make her Kageko Anmori.

As soon as I took my seat, the final bell rang and the teacher started roll call. Relieved that my ordeal was over, I stole one last sideways glance at Akemi Anmori. Her head was turned in my direction She wasn’t paying attention to the class at all, and when she noticed me looking, she licked her lips.

⁂

I managed to avoid any more unfortunate interactions with my classmates by running to the bathroom during morning break, and I intended to do the same for lunch, but I found the door blocked by an elf boy with meticulously-groomed short blonde hair.

“Yamaguchi, wanna eat lunch together?”

“Oh, uh… Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” I said.

“I’m Roshiki Hayashikaze. Since we’re the only two guys in our class, I’d like it if we could get along.” For real? I looked around the classroom, and sure enough, it was all girls except us.

And one of those girls, Akemi Anmori, was walking right toward us. “Yes, join us Yamaguchi,” she said. “We’d love to have you for lunch.”

“Sorry,” I squeaked. “Forgot my lunch at home, plus, I already have planned. Maybe next time.” Before they could reply, I juked past Hayashikaze and fled down the hallway as quickly as I could. In my haste, I rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Robolina.

“Sei, I was just coming to collect you. Did you have a chance to eat lunch?”

“Not yet. I was just headed to the cafeteria.”

“Then you’re out of luck. You can only get food from the cafeteria with a summoning spell. It’s one of the many ways Blade and Shield reinforces its magic lessons. Luckily, you have a tutor who has your back. Summon.” A bagged yakisoba pan appeared in her hand. “Let’s head to the roof to continue your training.”

“They let us eat on the roof? I thought that kind of thing only happened in anime.”

“I have special permission. It’s the ideal spot to recharge my mana.”

She led the way to the staircase. Once we were on the roof, she did something completely unexpected: She unbuttoned her blazer.

I quickly turned around and covered my eyes before I saw anything scandalous. “What are you doing?”

“The fabric blocks mana absorption. If I don’t strip, I won’t have enough for practice this afternoon.”

“But you can’t get naked outside!”

She sighed. “You sound exactly like the principal. That’s why she gave me permission to use the roof, so I could have some privacy.”

“Meaning you probably shouldn’t have brought me here.”

“Probably not, but I’ve already done worse to you, and you haven’t snitched on me.” At least she was aware of it. “Besides, I’m a golem. I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. We don’t even wear clothes in Mechanoria.

I tried, and failed, not to imagine it. “A--Anyway, you said something about magic training earlier.”

“Do you remember the Solar Flare spell from this morning? Try to cast it without any help. Let me warn you, it won’t be easy. Combining two spells is more difficult than casting them separately.

She wasn’t kidding. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t make it work. I even tried casting the compressed orb spell on its own. It made my hands glow with a golden aura.

And so I spent the lunch period on the roof practicing my spellcasting while a naked girl sat a few meters away. Magic school, I had to admit, was weirder than I ever imagined it could be.

⁂

Immediately after class, I rushed down to the locker room to get changed. Mercifully, Anmori let me go without any further teasing. With​​ how quickly I left, I expected to be the first person there, but Tetsukiba was already getting changed by the time I arrived.

Since he wasn’t wearing a shirt, it was hard to ignore how impressive his muscles were. I knew he was bigger because he was a half-orc, but I still felt puny compared to him. He was only a year older. I doubted I could close even half the gap between us in just one year.

“Yamaguchi, nice hustle,” he greeted me. “You got here fast.”

“Not as fast as you. Aren't your classes on the floor above mine?”

“Don’t worry about comparing yourself to me. I’ve got an unfair advantage. My muscle enhancement magic allows me to safely jump out the window.”

“Muscle enhancement? So those biceps are pumped up with mana?”

He shrugged. “Beats the gym, if you ask me.”

Realizing that I’d been staring, I started changing. Knowing that my uniform had been blessed by Senpu Hime, I folded it with reverence and placed it carefully in a locker. I was just about finished when the older Yuumondou brother entered the locker room. Not wanting to get into another argument with him, I struck up a conversation with Tetsukaiba. “You’re in the same year as Blooming Flame Blossom, right?”

Yuumondou interrupted with a chortle. “Are you seriously calling her that?”

“That’s how she introduced herself. Anyway, I was looking for advice on how to deal with her. Yesterday, she was kinda… overly familiar.”

Tetsukiba nodded. “She stuck to you like glue. Wish I knew what to tell you, but it surprised me too. You’re either going to have to get used to it or talk to her yourself.”

The prospect of getting used to an overbearing tomboy with middle schooler syndrome was daunting, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. There were worse fates.

“I think she’s just excited to have another human around,” Yuumondou added. “There aren’t many of us at the school, and most of us are from old magic families. You’re something of a novelty.”

“So she won’t bother me once the novelty wears off?”

Tetsukiba and Yuumondou shared a glance, then said in unison, “I wouldn’t count on it.”

Their words stuck with me as we made our way to practice. Tetsukaiba had donned leather armor, and Yuumondou was wearing his chuuni black robe. Then there was me, in my P.E. clothes. Really made me feel like I didn’t belong here, but the feeling vanished when we reached the track and the first-year girls were also wearing sports uniforms.

The oni coach was standing next to the track, and when she saw me, I swear her eyes lit up. “Warm up laps. Keep going till I say stop.”

Even though Yuumondou arrived well ahead of me, it didn’t take long to catch up.

“This isn’t a race, Yamaguchi,” Yuumondou called after me as I left him in the dust. “Save your energy.”

I wasn’t worried, but I slowed down a bit. If I wanted to earn his respect, following his advice was a good place to start. Besides, it didn’t matter if I was more athletic than he was; he was much better at magic.

After a couple laps, the coach called everyone to gather up. There were even more people than there had been yesterday. Must have been around twenty girls, but only four guys. Among the girls, there were a few more in leather armor, but most wore robes. Not surprising for a magical school.

“All right, form parties of three,” the coach ordered. “Then spread out along the track.”

“Yo, Sei.” I tensed as a familiar arm wrapped around the back of my neck. Even through her robe, Blooming Flame Blossom’s arm radiated heat. “Let’s party up and burn them all down!”