Chapter 17

Nina

Dear diary,

I do not know what to reply to Mel. She kept texting me, and yesterday she asked if I can help her with graphic design for her events. It’s a nightmare. What shall I tell her? Oh, I didn’t think this through, and that talking to someone might lead to this. Should I simply ignore it? But that would be impolite. But I cannot reply to her. She will be disappointed if I say no, but saying yes would mean reaching for a life that is no longer mine.

I cannot. My designs aren’t really even that good. Oh, why did she find my website? I should have foreseen it. I cannot do it. It’s not even about the designs, there will be meetings, and I will need to talk to them and visit them. It’s not like my current clients, they are easy, and I simply keep in touch through email. But doing graphics for her events would mean something else.

In another life, I believe I would have enjoyed it. Even if it would be for her abstract paintings, I believe it would still be a fun project. But I cannot, not now. I don’t know what to reply to her, but I cannot prolong it much longer. I believe I will rest, and maybe my thoughts will have cleared out after that.