Last Dance

          Well before you call me a loser who hasn’t tried to ask the girl out he constantly thinks about and wants to date, well… you're not wrong but hear me out. I’ve tried to ask you out on a multiple number of occasions but most of the time you weren’t there to ask out, and sometimes when you were there at the last minute I walked the other way, though there was one time I was one second too late from getting my words out though. Aaah, she just had to get picked up that day. Well after two months of on and off trying to ask you out I stopped with the feeling that a perfect moment would happen and stopped waiting by the school entrance nervously with my walkman and anxiously wondering if you would show up or not.

I think my current strategy is praying and begging the lord that I may get the chance to have a date with you instead of going ahead and asking you out. Not a bad strategy if I do say so myself, well I feel that this stuck position of sneakily taking glances at you, and you taking sneaky glances at me is coming to an end.

It was about neat the end of October when it happened, and I saw your dumb, embarrassed, nervous, cute face. After my previous attempts of watching walking away as I beat myself in my head I was determined to ask you out. Even though I was beating myself about it at the time I think it’s pretty amusing now. You had popped in my dream for a couple days in a row and I had a feeling today might be the day, though I think I said I had that feeling about 4 days in a row. Well as delusional as I may be I went to school with high hopes. I even woke up early to make myself some breakfast, made some eggs and bacon on toast. It was quite deliziosa. I burnt the toast though, but it may have been an intentional char.

In the morning of school I never got to see you, it was only a rare treat that I got to see you coming in after first period ended. I basically calculated your whole schedule using all the information I had gotten from all the sightings I’ve had of you, most of the time I would see you was after first period getting in which would mean you had ela later in the day, and also you had a class that isn’t everyday as I saw you coming in first period once before, which would mean gym was your first period class(first period gym was not everyday this year for some reason). The other class periods I pretty much figured out just by my encounters with you in the hallway I would have now and then, homeroom second of course, third would be lunch, and after that would be italian class and lastly history with me. Now that I think about it there wasn’t that much to figure out.

The day passed by with myself feeling more and more drained as we got closer to history class, and my head started to hurt. I noticed this happened more and more often in October especially on those days I decided I wanted to ask you out. Those days my head felt like if I couldn’t ask you out then that it might be over, and that I had to ask you out which got my head even more hurtin out. Though I persevered and made it through till history class.

As we sat down in class I was sneaking glances at you, you were pretty as always— real pretty. Then I saw your earring, I was thinking about it the other day what kind of earring you would wear and when I saw it, it was real pretty I thought. It was a thick earring, one of those hoopy ones, though it wasn’t long and golden, more like a small ring size, and it was a nice pink color. Then I also caught you sneaking a glance at me, Lucky me. After a second I waved and you waved back at me. The period went on as usual and I felt my heart beating every second, and I had a feeling that if I hesitated, or let my mind waver for a second I wouldn’t be able to do it again. So I kept my eyes open and paid attention to the lesson, it wasn’t really that boring that day I feel. The period was about to come to an end and fear leaped from all across my brain, if you were gonna come outside, what if you say no, what if I don’t do it. Then the period was over, I went out and left first with no sight of you. I walked down the stairs, said goodnight to the security guard, and left through the doors. I waited next to the front entrance for a bit to see if you’d come out: heart pounding.

Before this you had come out with your friend and I had just given up, but this time I decided that I wanted to do it differently. You came out with your friend Chanel today. You walked with your friend and I walked behind nervously waiting for you to finish your conversation, then you suddenly waved goodbye and walked over to the road to get picked up. She seemed to be nervous from her expression she was making as she left. I was thinking of stuff to do, or something I could’ve done but I couldn’t think of anything. Then you left, and I remember going my usual route home. I don't remember what I thought on the way home, maybe just the usual hopelessness till I felt hopeful and kept striving to keep going.

Well it wasn’t the most exciting tale but I think it was the one time if you hadn’t left that I would’ve actually asked you out. Now I wonder how it’ll happen, I feel kinda helpless and sucky for waiting, like a writer who delays his book for three months for inspiration. Is he delusional, or is he on to something? Well I’d say I feel a bit a both, well we’ll see how it goes.