I Have Ornithoscelidaphobia

You see the title of the book, my husband is a cryptozoologist. I, myself, think it is a crazy idea, but, maybe I’m wrong. The studying he’s doing now, is, he’s trying to bring back pterodactyls. I am not thrilled by this idea. And when I say ‘not thrilled,’ I mean I’m terrified. I have ornithoscelidaphobia, which is fear of dinosaurs. And, just my luck, I am the most afraid of pterodactyls.

“Please don’t make an expedition to bring back dinosaurs,” I told him.

But he never pays attention to me. Now I’m laying down as I do breathing exercises. Breath in, breath out breath in, breath out breath in…

“Janet!” my husband screams as he runs into the bed, nearly crushing my legs as he sits down.

“What?”

“Look at this picture!”

“Ahhh! You know I can’t stand pterodactyls.”

“But do you know what this photo means?”

“That I almost had a heart attack?”

“You amuse me, Janet. It means I might have brung back dinosaurs!!” he says, leaning toward me.

“Hooray, hooray, happy days.” I say sarcastically.

“You’re not proud?” he says slowly, allowing me to sniff his breath.

“Your breath smell like beer.”

“And?”

“Just noting that.”

“Well, you should be proud.”

“Why? This project is just a way to kill people.”

“Focus on one thing.”

“What?”

“Me becoming famous.”

“All you care about is you, you you.”

Gil turns towards the door, face red with embarrassment.

“But I like it,” I say as I give him a light kiss on the cheek.

“Night, Janet.”

“Night, Gil.”