A Popular Start

"Make me popular!" I had said. The last word was accompanied by a sharp voice crack. I cringed. 

Slowly, very slowly, I leveled my gaze. I saw his gaze sweep over me. Not in a flattering, seductive way. No, it was like a sculptor looking over his newest piece. Deciding what improvements needed to be made. My palms sweated. Maybe I was too much of a challenge. 

Honestly, why had I even said I wanted to be popular? Wasn't I content to be the girl that blended in with the books? The girl who was observant, not the one being observed. 

But... still. Sometimes the little glances and laughs sent my way got tiring. Sometimes, I wanted to have people asking to be in my group during a group project. Not forced by the teacher. 

I balled my fists, squaring my shoulders. I was ready for whatever judgement Otani was going to say. 

He stroked his chin. "Yes. I can work with this."

In two quick strides, he was in front of me. He held out a hand. "Quick."

I titled my hand. What did he want? A handshake? I lifted my hand to do just that, and he laughed. "Your phone. If I'm gonna make you popular, we're gonna need to meet up."

I flushed, digging through my backpack for my phone. The case was a plain maroon- that way, no one could say anything bad about it. My hands quivered as I typed in his number. 

He jogged in place lightly. "Okay. I've really got to go."

I nodded. He waved, dashing away. My eyes stayed fixed on the door long after he was out of sight. So that was how he made people swoon. Clever. I would weave his skill into my latest novel. 

***

Home again. Most high schoolers probably had a family to come home to. Interactions with my mom were sparse with her running to the hospital. And my dad couldn't even be bothered to send me a measly text. 

So I came home, grabbed a chocolate bar from the pantry, and walked into my bedroom. 

To call it a bedroom was generous. Closet was more accurate- with all of the drawers and boxes filled with perfectly organized things. More felt tip pens than I could count. A flat mattress, greyed from use. My favorite cozy blanket at the foot of the bed. I grabbed it. 

I wonder what his room is like, I thought briefly, then banished the thought. Why was Otani drifting into my mind? I should be doing the dishes. 

A ping sounded from my phone. An unknown number lit up the cracked screen. Hi. It's Otani. 

I flopped onto the bed. What would a popular girl say here? "Hello?" "It's Maru" "Heyyy"

I had... absolutely no clue. 

So I just stared at the message. Hopefully he didn't see I had marked it read. And hopefully he hadn't noticed all the words I had typed and then deleted. 

Oh no. He was typing again. 

We clearly need to work on your confidence, One message read. He was right- but my eyes still widened in surprise. He was seriously going to make me a popular kid? Then, he sent another message. When can we talk about it?

After a couple cringey sounding messages were deleted, I settled on, Let me check my calendar. 

I hadn't needed to. It was completely empty. I decided it was best to shift the spotlight to him instead. 

What days work for you? I asked. Wait, did that sound too formal? How was I still getting embarrassed through the phone?

Within an instant, Tomorrow? After school ofc

Ofc... That means... Of course! Ha, look at me understanding modern slang. I sent a final message, okie ttyl.

On a second thought, I deleted the period. Cool. Effortless. 

And then my ego was dropped and shattered beyond repair. Yeah I have some serious work to do, he texted, followed by a laughing emoji. 

I buried my face in my pillow and didn't respond. 

***

I got another text after school. Library?  It was from him. So he wasn't giving up. I have a plan.

Should I be scared? I typed, then deleted it. Best to act like I hadn't been thinking about this meeting all day. Oh yeah. Sure. 

I swung my bag over my shoulder, keeping my eyes down. If anyone saw someone like me going into the library after someone like him... rumors would spread like wildfire. 

A buzz lit up my phone. A gif of a chubby man yelling, "I'M WAITING!" That wasn't something a popular kid would send. Still, I smiled and laughed lightly to myself. 

And there he was, sitting at the table. He looked up, dark eyes locking with mine. "Finally!"

I rushed in, embarrassed for being late late. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said, staring at me in a way that made me wonder if I had food on my face. "That's your first lesson."

"Oh. Ok. Sorry." Then I cringed- I had done it again. 

He laughed. "We'll work on it. For now... let's boost your confidence."

All around him, on the wooden table, was books. Lots of them. He gestured to them. "Balance them on your head."

I flushed. I knew I would just embarrass myself if I tried to do what he said. "Isn't this kind of... you know... silly?"

He looked down, at the books, then sighed in exasperation. Some dust blew off the table- no one ever came to this run down library. "You're right," he said. "There are more pressing issues at hand. But we can't really do them here."

I stifled a gasp. No, stupid mind. Do not go there. He doesn't want to come to your house. 

"Can I swing by your house on Friday?" he asked. "At like... seven thirty? I have practice until then."

My mouth hung open. Had I misheard? Or maybe he did this to every girl that crossed his path. "Um. No."

He looked crushed. But he would make fun of my house, my room, everything. I couldn't invite someone like him over. 

"I don't know you!" I exclaimed, squinting my eyes. I fidgeted with the pages of a book. 

I looked up, and he wasn't making fun of my squeal at all. He was nodding. "Good point. So let's change that."

My tongue tripped in my throat. "W-what? Why?"

He leaned forward on the desk, and I leaned back. "Well, Maru. You want me to make you popular, right?"

I nodded. Though, I was beginning to doubt this course of action.

"Tell me about yourself, Maru." The look in his eye wasn't stuck up at all. It was honest and deep.

Real. 

So I started talking.