Welcome to the Newspaper Club

“Ogi!!” My mother pushes down on my head as I try to tie my shoes.

“S-sheesh! Wassup?!”

“Don’t forget your phone.” She holds my smartphone in front of my face, making some weird laugh sound as I desperately try and grab it.

“Let me goooo, cmonnnn!”

“Awww, you're a strong boy, you can do it!”

“G-g-g-g-g-got it!” I manage to grip it, and she finally lets go, before her arms hold me in a bear hug, a small kiss planted on the top of my head.

“Ahhh, how’s it feel? Being a senior.”

“Eh? Uhh…” My legs shift closer to my body. “It’s kinda cool.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just, like, another year, yknow?”

“Mmm…” I feel her hug get tighter. “What about your friends?” My toes curl. “Are they excited?”

“Yeah, think so.”

“Hmm… well, I think it would be worth making sure this year is special.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“Wouldn’t you rather have a good year?” I mean, that’s fair enough logic. I slump back into her hug.

“What do you recommend I do?”

“You haven’t stayed in any of those clubs for a whole year before. Why not try that?”

“Ahh…” Memories of people all with their heads down, their eyes hardly ever crossing my face, enter my mind, and I bite my tongue till they go away. “Sure. That sounds possible.”

“M’okay. I guess I’ll let you go now…” She starts to move her arms, and as I begin to push away, she tightens them even more than before. “Ah hell, one more!”

“Mooommm.” Even as I whine, I don’t dare resist. Just a little longer…

No matter how much the rest of school may be unpleasant, there is one thing that makes me appreciate it. On the walk there, my gaze is always focused on the woods. When I watch, inevitably, I can swear I see a monster. It doesn't ever look particularly threatening. If I were being inattentive, I'd even say it was probably a deer. But… It doesn't move right. It walks on all fours with a false grace. Think like a kid trying to walk like a dog, but if they really practiced at it. It's unnerving. The writer in me would even say uncanny. I tried throwing it berries once. I mean, deers like berries, right? Whatever, I don’t think it really matters anyway, cause it just stared at me. It was too far away for me to get a good look, not beyond the simple fact that it was doing something no other deer could do. Smile.

I’ve called it Happy ever since.

My eyes drift from the movement in the trees to the school building just ahead. So many people. Some are talking about spray-painted genitals on the side of the door. A man is screaming at them, probably thinks they did it. Knowing what I do about him, he probably doesn’t really care who it was. Some girls are showing off their outfits to each other. Black skirts, black tights, a lot of black clothes. They look really happy. Their clothes ARE really pretty… I step through the front entrance and see hundreds of people, their bored and smiling, scared and crying, hopeful and empty, faces. I wonder what I look like to them? A sigh leaves my lips before I put up the hood of my sweatshirt and move along.

My destination is dead ahead. A pin up board is hanging from years old string, fixed up with many different strands of tape. The initials of students particularly proud of their accomplishments cover the bottom part of the board.

JI and AM say Good Luck Seniors!! From the Gaming Club

KR hopes next year has lots of CSM fans join the Anime Club

HO says, I won't forget any of you. Not for the world. -The Newspaper Club

My eyes hook onto that last one. Gaming club, anime club, football, soccer, technology club, none of them lasted long for me, and as much as I’d like to try them again, the memories with each one make the idea laughable. The only one left to try really was the Newspaper Club. When's their first meeting? Ah, today. I write down the room it's taking place in and begin the walk to homeroom, my brain filling with pitch black.

Let's see, let's see… 107, 109… I carry on through the hall, looking up and down from my notebook. It should beeeeeeee here we are. 115. Even from out here, I can hear the sounds of conversation already. My hand reaches out to touch the doorknob, feel its cool steel structure, and remain still.

What the hell am I doing? What about this is a good idea? Mom won't know if you don't join, you can just say you gave up on it a month from now and boom, all good. That makes more sense than doing something that can't turn out well. Still, even if I say that, I feel my heart stopping every time I try to move my hand.

If that’s how it’s gonna be, I guess just going once may be enough. At least so I can say I tried. Yeah, ok, just this once then. I turn the doorknob, and push the door open.

“-pervert!”

“I am not checking you out!”

“K-Kimi, do we really need to scream?”

“Marie, come on, look at him, he's not exactly innocent, is he?!”

“I, uhm… I think there may have been a mis… understanding?”

“Nah, I know what this guy is. Go on, admit it, you were leer-eh?” Like that, all three sets of eyes fall upon me as I stand silently in the doorway. “...another one?” The girl, who I've gathered is Kimi, narrows her ember gaze at me. Her long brown hair flows carefully behind her back as she leans away from the guy she was just accusing of, uh, something. My eyes go over her uniform, picking up on the white button up tee and khakis. Straight laced? Maybe, but definitely has a fiery sense of self. My eyes jump to the guy, dressed in a big brown peacoat and black joggers, his face buried in the collar along with his messy blonde hair, a set of green eyes barely visible through baggy eyelids. Tired, unapproachable, I feel as though I already know I’ll be talking to him least of all. Finally-

“U-uhm, welcome. Are you here for the Newspaper club?” The skittish girl, her curly black hair’s locks falling over her face, drenched in sweat, bows just a little. Marie, I’m pretty sure the other girl called her. Apologetic, kind? Probably kind. Definitely more open to my presence than either of the others. I give a small smile and over a bow back.

“Y-yeah, I am.” I answer, and am met with nothing. Ah, I get it. No matter how kind you are, you can only fight back against such a pressure alone for so long. A silence I don't have the nerve to break fills the room as I slowly step inside, closing the door. They won't stop staring at me. S-stop staring at me!!!

“You Jerry's lil brother or something?” Kimi sits back down, prodding me with a question laced with lethal poison.

“No! No, I… who's Jerry?”

“Member from last year. Don't worry about it. Your name?”

“Ogi.”

“Kay, here Ogi.” She reaches to a paper next to the guy, who seems to have completely dissociated himself from here, and holds it out. I take the paper, seeing a bunch of articles, some circled and others not. “Circle the topics you wanna cover. Whatever is left over, we'll split between us all.” I nod along, sitting in the free chair next to Marie, who gives me a little smile, mouthing a sorry. I give a little wave before looking over the remaining choices. Already, I can see the main page spots are all taken. Moving to the next page, I see stuff ready to stress me out. School team sports? Would that mean talking to members on the teams?

Recalling the faces of most of those people makes my face scrunch, so I move on. Club advertisements. Not as long as ANYONE I can recall is still in any of those places. Uhm, something that won’t give me a heart palpitation, anything like that, please. Oh! Event calendar. I can do that. Same with weekly poem selection. Kinda weird. Can't think of the last time I've seen a poem in the wild, but I bet it can’t be too hard. Hmm… none of that really feels substantial, though. It feels like all the important content got grabbed already. C'mon, something. Hmmm… special topic. Special topic?

“Uh, Marie?”

“Oh, hi, yes?”

“What's this?”

“What's what? Oh, that's a rotating subject. Nobody likes it too much, because nobody wants to put that much thought into this, hehehe~.”

“Actually, I put a lot of thought into my work. Something you wanna tell me?” Kimi pipes up, making Marie jolt.

“N-not at all!” Despite Marie's response, I can see a smirk on Kimi's face.

“Oh, ok. I guess I can take that one too. Uhh… all this other stuff seems super monotonous though. I guess I'll take whatever ones you three give me from there.” With my options circled, I hand the paper back to Kimi.

“Mmm, alright. You got a clue what you're gonna do for that special topic spot?” She asks with such an unimpressed look, I feel like any answer I give her will automatically be stupid.

“Y-yeah. Think of something you'll have a lot of fun with, y'know?" Marie's rephrasing puts life back into me. Let's see, something I'll have fun with. I'd feel stupid making it about a game or something. Thinkkkk… wait.

“Could I write about a weird thing in the woods?” I ask, and immediately the air changes. “I mean, like, a weird animal that, like, shouldn’t exist, or something, uh, I’m sorry.”

“Like… Mothman kinda shit?” Kimi groans. Eh? When did I say anything about Mothman?

“I-I don't really know anything about that, uhm-”

“Nah, that would probably fit here.” The boy finally chimes in, looking up from his coat. “Though, she really means cryptids as a whole. What you’re talking about sounds nothing like Mothman.”

“Oh. Uh, ok. Is that something you're interested in, uhm-”

“Yuta.” He leans back in his chair, sending an annoyed stare to the still groaning girl sitting next to him. “And, yeah. I'm kind of a crypto zoologist, so forgive me, but you have me pretty interested right now.”

“You do, huh? I see, I see. I mean, I'm sure you've seen it too. The smiling deer in the woods?”

“S-smiling deer?” Marie repeats my words quietly.

“Sure you aren't just losing it?”

“Tell me more.” Yuta leans back forward, eyes locked with mine.

“Pfft, hopeless…” Despite her targeted dig, Kimi does seem somewhat interested.

“Uhm, well, I call him Happy…”