Aoi: A Face Everyone Knows

“I see you’ve at least started drawing the whole face of your boyfriend,” Haruka says as she looks at the open sketchbook next to Aoi’s bento box. “About time.”

“He’s not really…”

“He’s very handsome. Is he really that blond, or are you trying new techniques for the hair?”

“Yohei-kun? Yeah, he is, isn’t he?” Aoi says dreamily before she can stop herself. “And yes, he bleaches his hair almost white. It’s actually very pretty.”

“I guess it’s fashion now,” Haruka muses. “He’s in the entertainment industry, right?”

“He is. And you know I don’t keep track of men’s fashion.” Aoi laughs and picks up the last piece of crispy tofu. “It does suit him though.”

“I guess it’s that white-haired pop idol that started the trend… You know, the one everyone’s obsessed with right now.” Her friend unwraps another small sandwich as she thinks. “Probably lots of fans going blond now.”

“Blond pop idol?”

“Yeah, can’t remember the name right now, but you must have heard some of his songs. They’re really good, and there’s one about ‘echo something’ that’s playing everywhere.”

“Hm, perhaps…” Aoi frowns, “But you know I pay more attention to pictures than music.”

“Oh trust me, I know.” Haruka rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her sandwich. “But what I don’t know is why I hear less about this Yohei-guy now when you’re actually together, than when he was just your mystery guest…”

“We’re not really together, we just hang out sometimes.”

“So all those dates are just friendly encounters? Really, Aoi-chan… do you think I’d fall for that?”

“I guess not, and you know I really like him…”

“Like…?”

How she can put such insinuations into a single word always surprises Aoi, but she nods.

“Yes, and I’m sure he likes me too. We’re just very busy and focused on work and school at the moment.”

“Mmmhm,” Haruka finishes her lunch and puts the wrappers neatly back into her lunch box. Then she leans closer, winking. “So, are you trying to tell me you two haven’t even kissed yet?”

Aoi blushes furiously.

“Haruka-chan! But no, not yet. It’s been close a few times, but…”

“I knew it. It’s just like in the beginning… The guy is too shy and polite for his own – and your – good.” Pursing her lips, she gives her friend a thoughtful look. “You’re going to have to take the first step again.”

“No need to rush things…”

“Rush?” Haruka shakes her head so her pigtails bounce. “For two people so obviously head over heels in love, you’re moving at snail’s pace… I mean, have you ever been to his apartment? It sounds like you’re always at your place…”

“It’s just more practical,” Aoi argues, though a nagging little doubt is throbbing in her mind. Has been for a while. Why has he never asked her to see his home? “It's just... His schedule is more unpredictable than mine, and it’s easier for him to work at my place than the other way around. He just needs his phone and tablet, while I’d need to drag a bag full of supplies…”

“Or just a couple of books.” Haruka makes a face. “I hope you haven’t forgotten about all those theoretical exams we have just after the holidays.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Aoi groans. Handing in actual art projects is a lot more fun and rewarding.

“Speaking of…” she frowns, checking the time. “We should finish up. The noble History of Art class starts in five.”

“Right,” Aoi quickly packs her leftovers into her bag. “Let’s go.”

*

Why has he never asked her to see his place? For some reason, the thought won’t leave her, and she’s still contemplating it as she puts on her maid dress, getting ready for her evening shift.

They’d never used any word, any label on their relationship. Are they just friends? Boyfriend and girlfriend? She had denied it to Haruka, but to herself, she’s honest enough to admit that she’s thinking of him as that. Her boyfriend… Yohei-kun…

They’d been going out for over a month now, seeing each other at least twice a week. Sometimes just a quick coffee or a walk in the park when their schedules allow nothing more. But most of the time, he’d come to her place, often bringing take-out, and they'd spend hours working, talking, painting, playing. She still can’t play an entire song on the guitar, but she loves watching him. There’s something mesmerizing about the way his fingers move over the strings and the melodies he pulls from the simple instrument.

Sometimes they snuggle down on her futon, watching a movie on her small TV. Sometimes she drowns in his eyes, and sometimes they almost kiss. Almost…

Perhaps Haruka is right and he’s just shy, but Aoi has a nagging feeling that there is something else holding him back. Preventing him from taking that step. And she has no idea what it can be.

Shaking off the thoughts, she picks up a stack of menus and heads out into the cafe. It’s crowded, the cold weather and upcoming holidays are driving people off the streets and into the warmth for cute cats, food, and warm drinks.

Is he coming tonight? He texted earlier to say that he probably won’t make it – some sudden 'dinner with clients' he has to attend. Still, she’s not giving up hope. Sometimes he likes to surprise her, to show up anyway. Hood up and mask on – as if the real him is a secret only the two of them share. And Snowy, of course.

Snowy…

As always during her shifts, the white cat is lurking close to what everybody now thinks of as ‘Takamura-san’s table’, waiting for Yohei to show up. For whatever reason, the cat has chosen the quiet mystery guest as his human, having quickly moved from staring to sleeping with his head on Yohei’s leg whenever he was in. Unlike Moff and most of the other cats, who see opportunities for food and fun with any guests, Snowy never approaches anyone else.

“Hey you,” she says, knowing the cat can’t hear her, but saying the words is comforting. She squats down, holding out a hand, and when a soft, white head bumps against her palm, she smiles. “Guess it’s just the two of us tonight then. And a full house of guests.” She gives the cat a last pat on the head before standing back up. “Time to get to work,” she says as the cat slinks back under the sofa where Yohei always sits.

She straightens her cat ears, puts on her best smile, and goes to greet her latest guests. The first of many tonight. The doorbell keeps chiming throughout the evening, and each time she looks over, hope flares in her chest, but Yohei doesn’t come. 

At least time goes fast; before she knows it, her shift is over, and she goes to change. After waving goodbye to Luna-chan, she throws her backpack over one shoulder and steps out into the cold night air.

The walk to the station is short and so familiar she could probably walk it with her eyes closed. Her thoughts drift back to Yohei; hopefully his work dinner won’t last too long, so they’d have a chance to talk before she falls asleep. But either way, he’ll text later to let her know. He always does.

The entrance to the metro station is busy, people funneling down the stairs, and she follows the flow without thinking. As she approaches the ticket gates, she slows slightly, reaching into her pocket for her IC card...

...and stops.

The wall opposite the entrance is different today. The soft, nature-inspired ads are gone. In their place is one huge image, lit so brightly it’s impossible to miss. Clean lines. Stark white background. A handsome face. An oddly familiar face…

She stands frozen as people try to brush past her, murmuring excuses she barely hears. Eyes fixed on the perfect face covering the wall.

She knows that jawline, that curve of the lips, one side raised into a lopsided little smile. Snow-white hair and sparkling, warm eyes. Yohei.

It’s him, but not him. It’s his face, the one she knows every line, every shade of, yet there’s something wrong with the angle of his cheekbones. Too sharp. And the cute little lines at the edges of his eyes are gone…

Photoshopped… A part of her mind is analyzing the picture. It’s easier than analyzing the rest…

'RYO for SEIKA TOKYO'

She vaguely recognizes the last name. That’s some… fancy fashion brand, right? But it says RYO. Not Yohei. Not Takamura…

Who…? Why would he?

Dazed, she somehow makes it home, but she can’t remember how she got there. Some sort of autopilot must have kicked in. Her body still feels oddly numb as she opens her phone again. Types in that name. Stares in disbelief at the results. Blogs, chats, pictures. 

So many pictures.

He always looks too perfect. And often there’s a woman by his side, a gorgeous woman with the prettiest pink hair that looks so good next to his white. The headlines say so. 

The forums argue about them. RAYNA, the headlines tell her. RAYNA and RYO. 

She wants to close her phone, doesn’t want to see, but her thumb won’t stop scrolling. Won’t stop clicking.

It’s like an open wound she can’t stop picking at.

Another blog opens, and suddenly her thumb stops, hovering over a photo she recognizes. A simple black and white picture with light streaming down a narrow alleyway. Yohei’s photograph.

Not a coincidence. Not a lookalike. She knows that photo. Knows the man who took it. But, it can’t be... he would have told her... 

Why hadn't he told her?

She starts scrolling again, but there are no explanations, no logic, just more picture-perfect smiles and wrongness… The air is getting harder to breathe. 

The phone chimes softly. She’s so tense she almost drops it. Then stares at the message on the screen.

yo: ‘Did your shift go okay? I wish I could’ve come by tonight, hope we can meet tomorrow.’

Then comes a cute sleepy cat emoji.

Her hands are shaking as she types.

aoi_nek0: ‘I hope you’re having a good time with that pretty Rayna-girl. RYO?!’

Eyes blurry and hot from unshed tears, she taps send. The phone falls out of her suddenly limp hand, but she doesn’t care. The phone chimes. Once… twice… She kicks it across the room, curls up on the floor, finally letting the tears flow freely.

Yohei-kun…