5- The Cursed Yoga!

The floor was cleared and the kotatsu was pushed to the side.

Poko stood in the center of the room. She was wearing a skin-tight, glossy wrestling leotard. Her chest bounced as she hopped in place.

Poko: "One, two! One, two! Come on, guys! We need to get fit! My dad sent me this legendary DVD: 'Hell-Demon Yoga for Flexible Bodies'!"

Chi-chan was sitting on the floor, wearing her bloomers and a tank top. She looked disgusted.

Chi-chan: "I don't need yoga my body is perfection. I am a killing machine."
(Chi-chan tries to touch her toes. She can only reach her knees. Her joints make a 'CRACK' sound).

Chi-chan: "OW! MY ROYAL HAMSTRINGS!"

Baku-chan was there too, wearing a loose t-shirt. She was already asleep on her yoga mat, curled up in a fetal position.

Rinka sat in the corner, reading a newspaper. She didn't look up.

Rinka: "If you break the floorboards with your bouncing, I’m going to sell your organs."

Poko: "Don't be like that, Rinka! Let's start the DVD!"

Poko shoved the disc into the player.

The TV flickered. A muscular Red Oni (Ogre) with a thick mustache appeared on screen. He was wearing a tiny speedo.

TV Instructor: "GREETINGS, MAGGOTS! DO YOU WANT A BODY OF STEEL? THEN BEND! BEND UNTIL YOU SNAP!"

Chi-chan: "Why is he shouting? This isn't relaxing!"

TV Instructor: "FIRST POSE: THE CRANE DRINKING FROM THE TOILET! ASSUME THE POSITION!"

Poko: "Okay! Roger that!"

Poko grabbed her ankle and pulled it over her head, she did it easily.

Poko: "Look! I’m a pretzel!"

Chi-chan: "Show off! I can do that too!"

Chi-chan grabbed her leg and pulled hard.

SNAP.

Chi-chan: "GYAAAAAH! MY HIP! IT POPPED OUT!"

Chi-chan fell over. But because her leg was stuck behind her head, she rolled around like a lopsided ball.

Chi-chan: "Help! I’m stuck! The friction is burning my bloomers!"

Poko: "Don't give up! Next pose!"

TV Instructor: "NEXT! THE TWISTED LOVER'S KNOT! GRAB A PARTNER! WRAP YOUR LIMBS AROUND THEM LIKE A PYTHON!"

Poko: "Partner yoga! Come here, Chi-chan!"

Chi-chan: "No! Stay away! You’re sweaty!"

Poko grabbed Chi-chan (who was still hopping on one leg). Poko wrapped her arms and legs around Chi-chan to support her.

But Poko was slippery.

SLIP.

Poko: "Whoops! Slippery Tanuki Oil!"

Chi-chan: "Since when do you secrete oil?! GET OFF!"

They fell onto Baku-chan.
Baku-chan woke up in a panic. She flailed her arms.

Baku-chan: "A nightmare?! TENTACLES?!"

Baku-chan accidentally grabbed Poko’s tail and Chi-chan’s arm. She pulled.

Now, all three girls were tangled in a horrific, impossible knot of limbs, tails, and spandex.

Chi-chan: "I can’t breathe! Whose foot is this?! It smells like cheese!"

Baku-chan: "That’s my ear..."

Poko: "This is... kinda cozy?"

TV Instructor: "EXCELLENT! NOW HOLD THAT POSE FOR 400 YEARS!"

Chi-chan: "FOUR HUNDRED YEARS?! Rinka! Help us! We are fused!"

Rinka finally looked up from her newspaper.
She saw the pile of groaning, sweaty, tangled monster girls. Poko’s chest was squishing Chi-chan’s face. Baku-chan’s legs were somehow tied around Poko’s neck.

It looked... very inappropriate.

Rinka: "..."

Rinka stood up. She walked over to the TV and paused it.

Chi-chan: "Oh, thank goodness! Hurry, untie us! My blood circulation stopped five minutes ago!"

Rinka ignored them. She walked to the closet and pulled out a large, heavy Bowling Ball.

Chi-chan: "Rinka? Why do you have a bowling ball?"

Rinka: "I was bored. But now, I see a set of pins."

Rinka pointed down the hallway. She opened the sliding door at the end of the room.

Rinka: "If I roll you hard enough... you might untangle when you hit the back wall."

Poko: "Wait! We are fragile!"

Chi-chan: "NO! THIS IS ABUSE! DON'T PUT YOUR FINGERS IN THE HOLES!"

Rinka: "Strike."

Rinka rolled the ball. It moved slowly across the tatami.
Then, she walked behind the "Human Knot."
She raised her foot.

Rinka: "Fore!"

KICK.

Rinka drop-kicked the tangled ball of girls.

Chi-chan / Poko / Baku-chan: "KYAAAAAAAHHHH—!!"

The ball of limbs rolled down the hallway at high speed. They bounced off the walls.
BOING. BOING. CRASH.

They hit the back wall with a wet THUD.

They instantly untangled, lying on the floor in dizzy, compromising poses, with torn clothes and spinning eyes.

Chi-chan: (Dizzy, trying to cover herself with Poko’s tail) "I... I hate... healthy lifestyles..."