Chapter 7:

7-2D Idol and the Living Chair

Chimera-chan Can’t Be Tamed!

Chi-chan was lying on the floor, scrolling through Rinka’s tablet. Her eyes were bloodshot.

Chi-chan: "Unbelievable... This is garbage!"

Poko was sitting nearby, trying to open a packet of chips with her feet.

Poko: "What’s wrong, Chi-chan? Did you lose your login bonus again?"

Chi-chan: "Look at this, you dumb raccoon! This human woman... she is just an anime character on a screen! She is even playing Pinecraft so badly! And look at the chat!"

On the screen, a colorful Superchat message popped up: [ ¥10,000 - "Please step on me, Queen!" ]

Chi-chan: "TEN THOUSAND YEN?! Just for existing?! I am a real Demon Princess! If I started streaming, I would be a trillionaire! The humans would offer their balls...ahem souls as tribute!"

Poko: "Oh! You want to be a VTuber? I love those! They are so cute!"

Chi-chan: "I don't want to be cute...I want to be rich. Poko! Get the equipment! We are going live right now!"

The setup was garbage.
They stacked three boxes of old manga to hold the tablet. The background was a dusty wall with a creepy mask hanging on it.

Chi-chan: "We need a gaming chair a throne fit for me!"

Poko: "Leave it to me! Transformation Magic!"

Poko placed a leaf on her head.
POOF.

She transformed into a Gaming Chair.
...Except she wasn't a normal chair. She was a chair made of fur, with raccoon ears on the headrest and a tail sticking out of the seat.

Chi-chan: "Why is the seat warm? And why is it breathing?"

Poko (Chair Form): "Comfort is key! Sit on me, Chi-chan!"

Chi-chan: "Whatever. It adds production value."

Chi-chan sat on the Poko-Chair. She cleared her throat and pressed the "Go Live" button on Rinka's account.

Chi-chan: (High-pitched, fake cute voice) "Konnichiwa, peasants~! It is I, the ultra-rare Super Idol, Chi-chan Desu~! Send me money and I might not curse your crops! Nyan!"

Viewer Count: 0.

Chi-chan: "..."

Viewer Count: 1.

Chi-chan: "AH! A viewer! Worship me! Donate! Why aren't you donating?!"

Comment: [ "Is this a comedy skit? Why is the chair panting?" ]

Chi-chan: "Poko! Stop breathing so loud! You're ruining the immersion!"

Poko (Chair Form): "Sorry! You’re heavier than you look, Chi-chan."

Chi-chan: "SHUT UP! I am light as a feather! Don't expose my diet to the internet!"

Chi-chan started bouncing up and down on the chair angrily.

Poko (Chair Form): "Ah! Ooh! Wait, that tickles! Stop bouncing! My transformation focus is slipping!"

Chi-chan: "Hold still! I need to perform my ASMR segment!"

Chi-chan grabbed a cursed microphone (it looked like a dried severed hand holding a mic). She leaned in close.

Chi-chan: (Whispering) "Hey guys... can you hear me? I’m going to eat your soul... slurp slurp..."

Comment: [ "This audio is cursed. I feel like spiders are in my ears." ]
Comment: [ "Why is the chair sweating?" ]

Suddenly, the Poko-Chair started to vibrate.

Poko (Chair Form): "I can't hold it! The bouncing... the weight... I'm gonna revert!!"

Chi-chan: "Don't you dare! If you turn back into a Tanuki while I'm sitting on you, we'll get banned for nudity!"

Poko (Chair Form): "EXPLOSION IMMINENT!"

POOF.

A massive cloud of smoke filled the room. The chair vanished.
Chi-chan fell backward. Poko (human form) reappeared underneath her. They landed in a very tangled, awkward wrestler-style pile on the floor.

From the camera's angle, it looked... very suspicious.

Chi-chan: "Get off me! You heavy tanuki!"

Poko: "My tail is stuck under your armpit! Pull it out!"

Chi-chan: "I'm pulling! Why is it so fluffy?!"

Viewer Count: 5,000.
Comment: [ "WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THIS CHANNEL?!" ]
Comment: [ "Is this wrestling? Art? I'm donating!" ]

[ ¥5,000 - "Confused but interested." ]

Chi-chan: (Sees the money) "YES! MONEY! Poko, keep struggling! It’s working! Violence sells!"

Chi-chan grabbed Poko’s tail and started swinging it around like a lasso.

Chi-chan: "WITNESS MY POWER! SUPER SPINNING RACCOON ATTACK!"

Poko: "GYAAAAAH! I’m getting dizzy! I’m gonna puke!"

Just then, the sliding door opened.

Rinka stood there. She had just come back from the tax office. She was wearing her black hoodie and holding a plastic bag. Her eyes were dead.

She looked at the tablet streaming live.
She looked at Chi-chan swinging a half-naked Poko by the tail.

Rinka: "..."

Chi-chan: (Freezes) "Ah. Rinka. Look! I made us rich! We are viral!"

Rinka walked over to the tablet. She read the comments.

Comment: [ "Here comes the Grim Reaper." ]
Comment: [ "RIP Streamer." ]

Rinka turned the camera around to face her.
She put on her most terrifying, sweet smile. The smile of a merchant.

Rinka: (To the camera) "Hello everyone. Thank you for watching the 'Punishment Stream.' If you donate 100,000 yen in the next minute... I will use the Iron Fan tool."

Chat:
[ "DO IT." ]
[ "TAKE MY MONEY." ]
[ "YES QUEEN." ]

The donation bar filled up instantly.

Chi-chan: "Wait... Rinka? Why are you holding the fan? Why are you smiling?"

Rinka: "It’s for the content, Chi-chan. Smile for the camera."

Chi-chan: "NO! NOT THE FACE! I'M AN IDOL NOOOO—"

Rinka: "Ban Hammer."

WHACK!

The stream cut to black just as the sound of metal hitting a forehead echoed through the room.

Later that night.

Chi-chan was sitting in the corner, holding ice to her head. Poko was eating the potato chips.
Rinka was counting a stack of cash on the table.

Rinka: "Not bad...We made enough to fix the roof."

Chi-chan: "I demand a cut! It was my talent!"