Yes, I'm Alive

"Well, hello to you too Microwave," she responded, sitting up. The hospital room was a higher-class one, from the make of the bed and chairs to the presence of a sink just around the corner. The TV played some newly generated episode of an anime, not one she recognized though. And sitting at the table to the left was Microwave, seated cross-legged, staring. "No bunny apples? How sad."

"You're quite chipper for someone who was nearly killed. Are you sure you're not a personal assistant?" it quipped, though there was a slight hint of relief, not that she noticed.

"Yes, I'm alive. Isn't it obvious?"

"The things you do make the obvious seem obscure," it moaned, fiddling its fingers.

"Hmm? What's that your doing over there?" Curious, she looked over its shoulders. Compared to her bed, she could clearly see the incident report it was writing up.

"Wait, how did you--"

"Do you really need to tell him that? I didn't 'get distracted by Dr. Yusuhara'! Who even is Dr. Yusuhara?!?" she tried to take the display out of its hands, but it was only a projection, so hers simply passed through.

"Just stop for a moment," it said, annoyed. "Also, do you seriously not remember your professor's name?"

"Is that the guy / girl who blew himself up?"

"You as well," it sighed. "Also, don't dodge the question. That was teleportation just now, right?"

"What was?"

"Were you really not paying attention? Look at where you're standing."

"Standing? Oh." Instead of sitting on the bed, she had made her way behind Microwave at some point, probably when she went to look at its display. "I guess I did."

"Can you do it consciously then?"

"Maybe?" Concentrating back towards the hospital bed, she found herself back on top, albeit above the covers. "Seems like it, though I don't have that much control."

"I don't think that's the issue," Microwave muttered, but it knew she wouldn't understand. Maybe one in ten million could accidentally pull off a random teleport. But consciously controlling it? Choosing a destination? The number of people with that kind of talent could be counted on two hands. Well, her bounds had long eclipsed what could be called 'normal'. Even with that restriction in place, she's still a catastrophe. Actually... "Has the restriction disappeared?" It wasn't sure how else she could manage to pull off such a complex formula.

"Yep. I'm guessing it's Wednesday, right?" she answered, opening and closing her palm.

"That's right... ah. So, that's why you woke up now." Not too long ago, her body had been charred beyond repair. Even the doctors thought she was unlikely to make even a partial recovery, stuck in bed for the rest of her life. However, in a blink of an eye, all those burns had disappeared, probably from her support magic. It just hadn't processed that information because of that familiar, lackadaisical attitude.

"How is that correlated?" And, as always, she was oblivious to it all. It had noticed a slight change, however. Maybe a newfound maturity. Though whether that affected anything was a different story.

"Putting that aside, let's catch you up on what happened. As you might've guessed, your Magic Theory professor Dr. Yusuhara was the cause of both magnesium fires."

"Wait, this Dr. Yusuhara guy is one of my professors?"

"...seriously? He was the one you one-upped with a fireball spell. You know, the thing that ended in your restriction?"

"Ah..." she could vaguely recall such a man, but not how he looked like.

"How can you not remember your own professors?" it mumbled. "Anyway..." Microwave went on to explain the series of events. As they both suspected, both fires were accidents, if that wasn't already clear from the culprit being caught up in his own explosion. According to his AI prompts, the professor had a massive ego around his skill with magic, so much so that he couldn't stand to be second best. As such, seeing a student outperform him in nearly every aspect lit a burning flame for self-improvement.

From that, he bought some equipment in San'ya and headed out to his parents' abode in the countryside to experiment. The disguise also came from some salesman in San'ya, only to protect his pride and pretentiousness, so he could keep up his already questionable public image. Since he was familiar with the nearby hills, he found a place where he could practice in secret, adjusting the formula, mana, and accuracy as required.

It's unknown why he didn't put out the fire. Microwave speculated that there was a spark he had overlooked, and since it was dealt with before the village could respond, he didn't realize something had occurred. As for the cans, the salesman claimed they were biodegradable. While that was technically true, in this case, it was stupidly careless and dangerous to say so.

"And so, these miscommunications compounded together, resulting in this exact situation. As such, the salesman has been barred from selling the cans, with the rest slated for disposal. As for the professor, he's currently in critical condition, so we're not sure what will happen. For right now though, the university has placed him on probation, pending review."

"Aww, that's all?" she bemoaned. "I was expecting some kind of epic clash or evil organization. Or maybe a plot to take over the world! An ending like this is boring."

"I don't think this needs to be turned into one your stories. You're already in the middle of writing one anyway."

"Huh? But I finished that one."

"...you did? When?"

"Just now." It might need a bit more polish, but she was satisfied with how it turned out.

"How wonderful!!!" The door to the room slammed open as a man with an old CRT for a head walked in casually. Each word caused the image display to change, stringing a complete, albeit broken, sentence.

"Hello, sir!" In an instant, both of them bowed, the Creator teleporting over from the bed. After all, this was Gisou Kamiya, her boss, and the man neither of them could ignore.

"You're looking rather spry after an explosion. And you've learned teleportation? A bit rough around the edges, but nothing practice won't fix," he said, peering at her through the eyes of a close-up child.

"Thank you for the compliment."

"Of course, of course. Actually, this is perfect timing! Now, come along." With a flick of his fingers, the three of them teleported into a metal box. There were a few chairs scattered around and a more modern TV in the corner, but she already knew that. She had been here before -- the one place she could never forget.

Still, she couldn't help but ask, "What are we doing, sir?" And, as expected, with a devilish smile plastered on a woman's face, he said--

"Why, my Charlotte, isn't it obvious? We're headed to the stage! It's time for your performance."