Dynamics of a Breakup - Part 5

Cataclysm:

When An Mei opened the door, she saw an utterly bizarre scene in her living room. Her genius husband and her superstar sister-in-law wielding couch cushions like katanas and wailing at each other.

"I have had it with you," Li Wei yelled. "First you take my shampoo, then my TV. You even took my wife. And now, this. I am not going to tolerate you anymore."

He went in for an overhead strike, but his sister blocked it quite easily.

"You are being hysterical, Weiwei. It was just a slight readjustment." Li Jing slashed against him at the hip; the blow connected, pushing Li Wei back.

"Slight?!!!" Li Wei couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Slight readjustment?" Everything was in its proper place. You shouldn't have touched anything. Why did you even go into my office?" He recovered from the previous blow and approached the target while using his cushion as a shield.

"It was all arranged randomly. No aesthetic priorities at all." Li Jing feinted an attack to the left. "What would anyone think if they saw that a world-class physicist's home office looked like a mess?" Li Wei took the bait, and Li Jing punished him again.

"It wasn't a mess," the professor screeched. "Everything was in alphabetical order." He tried to overwhelm his sister with a flurry of blows. "Now how do I find anything in there? All those books, all those papers. It will take weeks to put everything back in its proper place." Li Jing blocked each attack perfectly, and the only thing Li Wei's effort earned him was a pillow hit in the gut.

"At least it looks like a real office now." Li Jing jumped over the couch and hit him again, this time in the back.

"I can't even find my copy of Mei's first book. I won't let you take my wife from me," Li Wei screamed, before slamming the cushion on top of his sister's head. The blow connected, and Li Jing was unceremoniously knocked down.

Finally triumphant after a week of misery, Li Wei loomed over his tormenter. "You are leaving now, jie. I think you have had enough time to recover from your breakup."

But Li Jing was not out of the fight yet. She tripped up her little brother. He lost his balance and promptly fell on the couch. The A-lister was up in a second and started beating up the helpless physicist.

"I am leaving when I want to. Your wife gave me permission to stay as long as I want."

Unable to defend against the cushion blows, Li Wei did the only thing he could. He grabbed his sister's hair.

"Ahhhh! Let go, you little punk."

"No!"

Li Jing threw away the cushion and grabbed Li Wei's hair.

"Let go of me Weiwei, or I will tear your hair out. Then you will be the youngest bald professor."

"Never! You drew a mustache on Sir Isaac Newton."

An Mei, who was amiable by nature, disliked fights and arguments. Even as a little girl, during those rare moments of heated arguments between her parents, she would hide in her room and insulate herself from the conflict, while her little sister An Jing would add fuel to the fire and later provide An Mei with play-by-play commentary like it was a pay-per-view match. But now, the fight was happening in her own living room, and it was not just a verbal argument. Her husband and her sister-in-law were beating each other up like primary school children, in full view of her respectable elderly neighbor, and the neighbor's even more respectable elderly dog. An Mei, who had until now endured a creep hitting on her, her high-maintenance sister-in-law moving in, and her own lack of writing progress, finally snapped.

"STOP IT!!!" An Mei shouted.

Both Li siblings, still grabbing each other's hair, looked at An Mei in shock. Even Mrs. Zhang seemed taken aback by gentle An Mei's sudden outburst. General Baobao, who was averse to any kind of violence, hid behind his owner.

Once the silence had settled, An Mei realized what she had just done and seemed to be flustered by her uncharacteristic outburst.

"Ummm... the neighbors are watching. You shouldn't be acting like this," she scolded Li Wei and Li Jing.

Since Mrs. Zhang and General Baobao showed no sign of leaving, An Mei smiled politely at her neighbor and closed the front door.

"Weiwei, jie, how can you two behave like this? I could hear your screaming from the hallway. What would people think?"

Li Jing immediately ran to her sister-in-law like a princess to her white knight. "Meimei, he started it. You saw how he was grabbing my hair."

"That's a lie. She ruined my office."

"I made it better."

"You are both acting like children."

"You see Weiwei, you made Meimei mad. Apologize to her."

"You are the one who did it. Why don't you leave our apartment? She is angry because of you."

Li Jing turned to An Mei with those large and sorrowful eyes. "Is it true, Meimei, am I making you miserable?"

An Mei looked at her husband's hopeful face and then at her sad sister-in-law. "... No... no, of course not, jie. Of course you are not."

"Can I stay for a few more days? Just like you promised me on the day of my breakup?"

An Mei once again looked at Li Wei, who was shaking his head furiously. "Of course... just like... I promised."

Behind An Mei's back, Li Jing stuck her tongue out at Li Wei and laughed silently.

Backup:

Li Wei knew that he was defeated. He might be able to solve the most difficult theoretical problems, but in the real world his sister was a dragon, while he and his wife were fluffy herbivores. They could never fight and win against her. But he knew four other dragons who could do it for him. That night, alone in the master bedroom, Li Wei created a new group chat that included him, his wife, four of his older sisters, and his sister-in-law, An Jing.

Li Wei: Jiejie 😢😢😢

Li Hua: Xiao-Wei. What happened? Who hurt you? Tell me where you are. I am coming over right now.

Li Yue: I am tracking his location. I'll have it in a few seconds.

An Mei: Weiwei. Why did you make this group?

Li Hua: Is Xiao-Mei with you? Is she safe?

Li Wei: Mei, we need the help.

An Mei: I hate to admit it, but you are right.

Li Yue: I got the location. They are still at their apartment.

Li Na: I think we should all calm down for a second. We don't know what's going on.

Li Hua: I am coming. Just hold on. Xiao-Yue. Call An Jing as well, and alert our security team.

Li Fen: Hua, calm down. Xiao-Wei, explain.

Li Wei: Da-jie, it's terrible. I feel like a stranger in my own home. Jing-jie has taken over everything. She uses my shampoo, she doesn't let me watch TV, she messes with my stuff, and I can't sleep in the same bed as my wife. She has even turned Meimei against me.

An Mei: It's all true 😔

Li Yue: 🤣

Li Hua: Why the hell is she still there? It's been a week since she broke up with that loser. Isn't she going to work?

Li Na: She hasn't come to the office for the past couple of days. She has been working remotely.

Li Yue: Her social media posts still have the same frequency, though. That cat photo Meimei sent got so many hits once Jing-jie posted it. Did you guys see that?

An Mei: It was a very cute kitty.

Li Wei: I agree.

Li Na: Yeah, she was so precious.

Li Hua: Who cares about cats? Let's talk about the real problem here.

Li Wei: Yes! Jing-jie needs to leave our apartment.

Li Yue: I made a meme with the kitty. Does anyone want to see?

An Mei: ✋

Li Na: Me too.

Li Wei: Jie, send it to me as well. President Zhou likes your memes. I will show it to him on Monday.

Li Hua: Can we get back to talking about Xiao-Jing? A cat comes up, and everyone is distracted.

Li Fen: Send it in the family group chat, Xiao-Yue.

Li Yue: 👍

Li Hua: You know what the problem is? It's her dating life. She always chooses the worst of the worst. How many has it been now?

Li Yue: 6 if you only count the real ones. Counting all the fake dating scandals, some of which she started, it would be around 17.

Li Hua: What a joke. What she needs is some discipline.

Li Na: I think she is trying her best. But she does have a tendency to attract a certain type.

An Mei: But the way she destroyed Gao Feng was really cool. I wish I had a video of that.

Li Na: Yeah, when she cuts them off, it's over and done.

Li Hua: She wouldn't have to destroy them if she chose them well in the first place.

Li Wei: About getting her out of our apartment?

Li Yue: When are we celebrating Weiwei solving Navier-Stokes?

Li Wei: Jie, I didn't solve Navier-Stokes, just a small portion of it.

An Mei: We already had a small celebration. We had cake from Tiantang Bakery. It was delicious.

Li Yue: You didn't send me any 😭

An Mei: Sorry, jie. Jing-jie ate most of it.

Li Yue: Did she throw up later?

An Mei: Yeah.

Li Hua: Typical.

Li Yue: 😂

Li Wei: Can you guys please not tell people that I solved Navier-Stokes? I didn't actually solve it.

An Mei: He is being modest. Physics department group chat was in utter chaos.

Li Na: Weiwei, we know that it was a major breakthrough. Don't try to reduce your achievement.

Li Hua: Yeah, I read up on it. With his result, they say that it will probably be solved completely within a few years.

Li Yue: Pretty accurate.

Li Fen: Let's have a celebration after the paper is published. Let's talk about it later in the family group chat when everyone is present.

Li Hua: Can we get back to evicting Xiao-Jing?

Li Wei: Yes!!

An Mei: Yes.

Li Wei: I told her to leave, but she doesn't listen to me. Apparently Mei promised her that she can stay as long as she wants. Now she is weaponizing that promise against us.

An Mei: I was weak 😫

Li Wei: It's not Mei's fault. Her kindness is being used against her.

An Mei: You are too good to me dear.

Li Yue: Get a room you two 🤮

Li Wei: We can't get a room; that's the problem.

Li Hua: I agree. Xiao-Wei and Xiao-Mei are too nice to handle Xiao-Jing. She is too cunning. We need to intervene.

Li Yue: I can hack all of Jing-jie's socials and set it to a picture of her falling off of Hua-jie's horse.

Li Hua: 🤣

Li Na: Maybe we should just talk to her?

Li Fen: No, Xiao-Na, this drama has gone on for far too long. It's time to shut it down. Xiao-Wei, Xiao-Mei, we are coming to your place tomorrow morning. We will deal with her.

Li Hua: Yes!!!

Li Wei: Da-jie. You just saved my life and my marriage.

Li Yue: Meimei, can you make breakfast for me tomorrow?

An Mei: Yes, jie. I will make an extra portion.

Li Yue: 😘

Li Na: Meimei, do you want to go to Tiantang bakery next Sunday?

An Mei: I would love that, jie. I was already thinking of getting my parents some cake.

Li Na: Perfect. I will text you later.

Li Fen: Alright. Everyone go to sleep now.

Li Wei: Goodnight. Goodnight, Meimei.

An Mei: Goodnight, everyone. Goodnight, Weiwei.

Li Hua: I can't wait for tomorrow morning. Sleep tight, kids.

Li Yue: 😴

Li Na: Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams.

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An Jing: Hello? Anyone there? What is this group?

An Jing: Wei-ge? Mei-jie?

An Jing: ??

Li Fen: Everyone already left.

An Jing: Da-jie. What are you doing here? What's this group chat? Looks like a lot of drama is going on.

Li Fen: It is.

An Jing: Do you need any help?

Li Fen: No, we will handle it. Why are you up so late? Don't you have exams tomorrow? Were you playing games again?

An Jing: What? No. I have been studying really hard. Mei Lin doesn't let us play games. She has a strict timetable for the exam week.

Li Fen: Good. Listen to her. I hope your GPA will be at least 3.5 this semester.

An Jing: What??!!! 😱

Li Fen: No GPA, no allowance.

An Jing: Sorry, I need to go study. Good night, jie.

Li Fen: Good night, girl. Do well tomorrow.

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Glossary:

Jiejie = Older sister. More affectionate and less formal than jie.