CH-14 (UNFINISHED RESIDUE)

“Honestly, you can be such a handful sometimes, Reiji-kun!”

“Sorry….Ayako-san.”

“Sigh….. if you are going to give me a half-assed apology, then don’t bother. Save it for later.

Besides, it was her decision to begin with.

Not that it matters anyway.”

Meanwhile, sitting on the passenger seat, I opened the diary that Akeno had given me.

The handwriting felt awfully familiar, for it was written by her.

Akeno had desperately pleaded to read through it,

but I was afraid,

afraid of finding out what she had written,

afraid of getting to know her true feelings,

Or was I afraid to face mine?

Who knows?

But I had promised Akeno.

And I was hell bent on keeping my promise.

With that, I turned the pages of the diary.

Act 1: Scene1:

It was a special day for her, since it was the day before her birthday. But Rose knew deep within her heart, that no one would be coming to her birthday party, no matter how much she decorated her house, for, she knew that the world had abandoned her from the very beginning. No matter what she did, her efforts would bear no fruits whatsoever. Even so, she focused on decorating the house, with a sliver of hope in her heart that maybe…, just maybe, luck would be on her side, for once……….

……

…..

………

Act 1: Scene3:

It seemed that fate had forsaken her once again, for her worst fears had come true. Even then, she wasn’t mature enough to accept it. The walls that had housed her for the past 16 years, the same walls that bore witness to her countless precious moments, felt suffocating for her. As such, she decided to run away, far from her home, even in the heavy rain that had consumed the city. But lady luck had other plans for her, for on that very day, soaked up in the rain, he had accidentally stumbled upon her…….

…..

………

…………..

Act 1: Scene 5:

She was abandoned yet again, for she had forcibly chased him out of her house. But that didn’t matter for her, for she had learnt to navigate the world on her own, ever since she was little.

But what Rose didn’t expect was for him to show up again, that too, carrying a cake that he had just baked. Rose didn’t know how to respond, since she had never been a subject of affection. Even though she pretended to be angry, deep down, she could feel a warmth encompassing her body. ……

…..

………

…………..

Act 2: Scene 1:

Rose wanted to better herself, in order to stand equally on his footing. She wanted to take a leap of faith, believing in him. Which is why, she started working desperately hard,

so that finally, she could reach out him.

So that finally, she could become someone worthy of his affection.

Eventually, she was able to overcome the……

…..

………

…………..

Act 2: Scene 5:

Rose had received a letter that day, inviting her to the rooftop of her school. It felt special to her, for that very same day, she had already planned to reveal her achievements to him, and maybe, just maybe, confess her feelings for him.

But as she walked up the stairs to the rooftop, she was met with a sight that never hoped to witness. “She” was embracing him, locking “her” lips with him. What hurt most, however, was the fact that “she” was not some random woman, but rather, her half-sister, Sina.

…..

………

…………..

Act 3: Scene 1:

Rose had managed to meet him once again, in her high school. He was her junior. But unlike his peers, who looked lively and were enjoying their youth, he was there, just existing as a former shell of what he used to be.

Rose was overjoyed to have found him again, but soon she realised that he had lost all his motivation. With nothing else to do, she wanted to give him a purpose, one that would allow her to spend as much time with him as possible. It’s the reason why she made sure to admit him in the student council, and chased the others out, knowing full well the consequences of her actions. She didn’t care, for she wanted to return him back to his former glory, even though he had already shattered her heart a year prior. She truly loved him, even though, deep down, she knew that his heart belonged to someone else.

In order to achieve this goal of hers, she had already decided her next course of action. She had to restore the relationship that Sina and him once shared.

…..

………

…………..

Act 3: Scene 3:

Rose’s plan was a success, for Maria, Sina’s elder sister, had taken up on her offer, even though Sina was hesitant to agree to it. But she knew that Sina was essential for her plan to work. So, she tried convincing Sina to the best of her ability, partly because she wanted the best for her half-sister, and partly because she wanted to see him smile once again.

…..

………

…………..

Act 4: Scene 1:

Rose wanted for Sina and him to spend as much time together as possible, even though it hurt her from the insides to watch the two getting closer. But she was determined, no matter what, for this was the only way she could see him smile once again.

…..

………

…………..

Act 4: Scene 5:

It was the night of his birthday. She wanted to spend some time with him. She had been planning meticulously for a week, to bake the cake, decorate the house, and everything, for this was the last birthday that she would be able to celebrate with him. She invited Sina, in order to help her out, even though, deep down, she wished to celebrate just with him. But she couldn’t allow her selfish feelings to interfere with her plans, for it was essential for Sina and him to end up together.

Throughout the birthday party, she kept on fidgeting, trying to muster up the courage to give him the gift. But deep in her heart, she just couldn’t afford to part with it, for she had fond memories attached to the gift. Unfortunately, she knew very well that she couldn’t falter, for she had already decide to forsake it, after bringing Sina and him closer.

…..

………

…………..

Act 5: Scene 2:

It was the night of the summer festival. For common folks, it was just a night of festivities, but not for her. Rose knew deep in her heart that everything that she had done until now, rests on the success of that day’s plan.

He met Sina at the exact spot that Sina and Rose had planned for, earlier. Even though Sina was reluctant to do it, Rose knew the exact words to convince her sister.

Which is why, she lied hidden in the bushes, keeping an eye on both of them, at a distance.

She had prepared herself mentally for what was about to go down next. Even so, her heart was not ready to witness the scene. It’s exactly why that she had slipped up momentarily, during the fireworks blast, by confessing her feelings over the cellphone, knowing deep down that this love of hers could never bear fruit.

It pained her heart to watch them kiss under the light of fireworks, but she had already decided to see it through to the end.

…..

………

…………..

Act 5: Scene 5:

It looked like the world was finally ready to accept Rose, for she had been presented with an opportunity to showcase her talents at a bigger stage. Fritz, her father, had accepted her decision, and was willing to bring her to him.

It should’ve been a joyous occasion, yet Rose felt empty. It felt like her life had lost its meaning.

She had worked hard to achieve this outcome. She couldn’t falter now. For, she had already decided to forsake him, and in the process, be forsaken by him.

But……,but….. something inside her didn’t feel right.

Deep in her heart, she resented this outcome.

Her heart ached thinking about the fact that she might never be able to see him again.

Her eyes would get unusually moist, thinking about that.

Maybe she was just afraid.

Or was it simple cowardice?

…..

………

…………..

___________________________________________________________________________

It pierced my heart to read through her diary, for she had laid her feelings bare inside it. But what surprised me the most, was the fact, that she had left the next few pages blank.

In other words,

“An unfinished manuscript?

But why?

Emi-senpai would never leave her novel unfinished, for she is the great author, Tamaki Kei.

She would always conclude her stories, no matter what the ending was.

So then, why?”

“Sigh…..You might excel at academics, Kouhai-kun, but looks like you still don’t have the answers to the heart of a woman.”

“What do you mean?”

“This manuscript of hers,

it’s not something that is written by the student council president “Emi-senpai” that you admire so much,

nor is it written by the world-famous author, Tamaki Kei-sensei.

But rather-”

“-written by the woman, Kurosawa Emi.

It’s nothing more than an unfinished residue of her emotions.”

“What will you do, Reiji-kun?

Now that you’ve learnt about her truth?”

“I had been running away from her emotions, afraid to face her feelings, just because of my own cowardice.

I had been an asshole, disregarding the emotions of others, pretending not to see them, even though, deep down, I was fully aware of hers.

But, from now on, I won’t run away anymore,

Neither from my own feelings, nor from hers.

No matter what life throws at me,

No matter how hard it gets,

I’ll face them.

I will be the one to write my own ending!”

With that, I unsheathed the black pen that she had gifted me, from my breast pocket.

___________________________________________________________________________

We arrived at the airport, with moments to spare.

I hurriedly ran inside the airport terminal, desperately searching for her, even though my chances of locating her in such a big airport was almost impossible, to say the least.

I was searching around all the gates with USA bound flights, desperately trying to locate her. It was like searching for a needle in the haystack, but I had the faintest of hopes in my heart, that I’d eventually run into her. I didn’t know what to say to her, when we would cross paths, but I was ready for anything, as long as I could come face to face with her. My breath felt unusually warm, and my head felt heavy, maybe because of the ongoing fever. I kept on searching, even though my legs were shaking due to exhaustion.

“Think, Reiji! Think! Where can she possibly go?”, I was trying to focus, but my mind went unusually blank. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t calm myself down.

Even so, I had the faintest of hopes in my heart.

But that too, was shattered into pieces, for, it was announced that the Los Angeles bound aeroplane, that she was supposed to board, has already taken off.

I was dumbfounded! For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do. I felt hollow from the insides. My throat felt unusually dry, my eyelids became moist, and my body felt numb. Somehow, I managed to drag myself back to the nearest seating complex. I sat down, staring at the floor.

Perhaps, this was the end.

I should’ve at least attended her graduation ceremony, so as to get a good look at her one last time.

I wonder what kind of face she’s making now, sitting inside the aeroplane?

But my thoughts were interrupted, by a voice, that I didn’t expect to hear.

“Kouhai…..kun?”

Immediately, my gaze went up, to find someone seated beside me.

“What are you doing here, Kouh-”

But I cut her off sentence, for, I reflexively hugged her, immediately, without thinking twice.

“Kouhai-kun! Wai-“

“EMI-SENPAI…….!

I’m sorry……….! I’ve missed you……. so much……….!”, I broke down, saying that.

“Sniff… Sniff….

I’m glad….. that I could finally find you, Emi-senpai.

Even after all this time………,

I still couldn’t forget about you…….,

no matter how hard I tried……..,

for, it was you………, who had captured my heart.”

I kept crying, hugging her, while laying my feelings bare.

But it wasn’t just I who was crying,

Because, I could feel her tears welling up,

As I kept hugging her.

“But…….. your promise……? With Akeno?

What about…… that?”

“Forgive me, Senpai,

for I had abandoned her,

yet again,

in pursuit of you.”

“Sniff… sniff…

Kouhai-kun, you really are selfish and cruel, you know?

But who am I to scold you?

After all, I’m a victim of my own selfishness too.”

“Sniff… sniff….

Wahhhhhhh…..!”

___________________________________________________________________________

It took some time for us, to cry our hearts out, before we could sort out our feelings.

“Emi-senpai, may I ask you, why did you stay back, if you had the intention of going to USA?”, asked I, while sitting in Ayako-san’s car with Emi-senpai, as the former kept driving.

“I don’t know, Kouhai-kun.

I had the ticket in my hands,

But at the last moment, I just couldn’t bring myself to board the flight.

It’s like my legs refused to move for some reason.”

“What about your dreams, Senpai? What about your relationship with your father?”

“He just game me a mischievous grin, before boarding the flight himself.”

“Sigh….! Looks like he had already anticipated such an outcome. If so, we might’ve played right into his hands.”

I felt relieved, even a bit elated, to be honest. But that relief of mine didn’t last long, for I got a call from Naoki.

“What’s the matter, Naoki?”

“Bad news, Reiji!

It’s-It’s Akeno!

She has been hospitalized!”

___________________________________________________________________________

The first time that I had collapsed, was in 7th grade. The doctors, who diagnosed me, said that I didn’t have much time to live. I was suffering from the same disease that had gripped my mother.

Since then, I’ve been trying to live my life to the fullest.

People who knew me personally, grew distant of me. Once they got to know about my condition, they started treating me differently. They used to always say depressing shit about me. People started pitying me, even though I didn’t want to be a subject of their pity.

I didn’t let that bother me, even though deep down, I knew that this life that I had will not last long.

Even though it was a pretty big issue, I decided to keep it a secret only to myself, away from him, since I knew that he would start treating me differently too, once he got to know about it. I didn’t want that. I wanted to maintain what we had, even though, deep down, I knew for a fact that this façade of mine wouldn’t last forever.

But, ever since that day, I couldn’t bring myself to face him again.

Not after attempting to get back to how we used to be, at the school rooftop.

In a moment of desperation, I kissed him, only to realize later that it had triggered a series of events that shattered him from within.

He was in love with a girl.

Kurosawa Emi.

Interestingly, she and I had the same father.

The first time I got to know that I had a sister besides Ayako onee-chan, I felt overjoyed.

She was the one who decided to approach us first.

She had a proposition to make.

To act out a character in the novel she had written, and in return,

she would make sure to get him and I back together.

I was reluctant at first, but eventually, I gave in.

Deep down, I knew she was doing everything she possibly could to bring us back together, even if it meant driving a wedge into her own heart in the process.

But I knew that this façade of hers wouldn’t last long, for sooner or later, her feelings would spill out.

What exactly was my motive anyway?

Well, I wanted to observe those two get closer to each other. 

A part of me was jealous of Emi-senpai, but a part of me also wished for Rei-chan’s happiness.

Deep down, I knew he was still bound by the promise we made years ago, and that, given the chance, he would try to jump back to me, even if his feelings lay elsewhere.

So, I did what I could to try and bring them closer together, while making Emi-senpai believe that she was in control of the situation.

In reality though, it was I, Tachibana Akeno, who was in control.

Why did I do this?

Well......, simply because I wanted Rei-chan to be honest with his feelings for once, even if that would hurt me deeply. For even after all these times, my feelings still remained unchanged.

You know what? I really loved you, Rei-chan, from the bottom of my heart!

I really wish I could've spent more time with you, even though, deep down I already knew that this love of mine could never bear fruit!

So make sure you make Emi-senpai the happiest girl in the world!

___________________________________________________________________________

I opened my eyes, to see the white ceiling of the hospital. I was lying on the hospital bed, with a heart rate monitor by my side. I turned my head around, to find the faces of the idiots I cherished the most.

Emi-senpai, big-sis, and my beloved, Rei-chan.

It looked like they had been crying for quite a while now. I couldn’t hear them properly, as both my vision and my hearing were in a frenzy. Maybe it’s because I had been sedated. I could smell the familiar scent of the formalin,

but this time, it didn’t feel repulsive.

In fact, it felt quite pleasant, maybe because it was associated with the memories of my beloved mother.

I extended my arms, and gestured those two crying idiots to hold on to them. And funnily, they did.

I had already lost my ability to speak, but I was still able to feel the warmth of their hands through my skin. My arms felt weak, but I was determined to take the next step.

The next thing I did, was plain and simple.

I joined their hands together,

gave them a warm smile,

and with the best of my ability,

uttered the following words,

“L..i…ve H…app..ily”

*BEEEEEEEEP*

___________________________________________________________________________