CH-13 (OUR LAST TIME TOGETHER)

Ever since I was a kid, I knew for a fact that our family did not fit into the definition of normal.

 As a kid, I remember spending hours after hours inside the hospital.

It wasn’t because my parents were doctors, or because I had some strange fascination towards hospitals. To be honest, I kind of hated the smell of formalin that was present in the hospital air.

My memories of those times were vague, since I was still a toddler, but I remember visiting my mother daily, accompanied by my big-sis. Occasionally, even our dad would accompany us.

My mother’s health hadn’t been great to begin with. She had been suffering from her illness since she married my father. Her condition had only worsened after she had delivered me. She looked fragile, yet her will to live was anything but weak. Even though she needed intensive physical therapy, she would spend every day playing with us. I still hold fond memories of her, for she was the parent we would spend most of our time with. Her long golden hair complimented her ivory-coloured eyes, under the rays of the sun, as she used to watch us play in the hospital grounds.

Maybe it was a woman’s intuition, but back then even a child like me had already realized that our mother wouldn’t stay with us forever. Her days were numbered, but that didn’t matter to her. She was adamant enough to spend every last bit of her energy on us, caring for us, discipling us, telling us stories, feeding us, and whatnot. She might’ve not fitted the definition of a perfect mother, but she sure was perfect in my eyes.

But everything changed on that day. I still remember it vividly,

for that was the day,

when I last spoke to her.

It was pouring heavily that day.

Mom was lying on her hospital bed, listening to big-sis talk.

Meanwhile, I was busy making a paper crane (senbazuru) for my mother, for I desperately wished her to recover, using the skills that I had learnt from a boy, who had the same age as me.

He was a patient too, with a name I remember distinctly, even now.

Reiji Nishimura.

He would visit us in our cabin frequently, to play with me, since the hospital didn’t have anyone his age. I would go with the flow, giving into his demands, since talking with other adults besides mom felt boring.

He would always carry a polaroid camera with him, saying that he wanted to capture every memory he deemed precious. For a toddler his age, he was always cheerful and surprisingly good at taking photos, and most of the time he would be fixated on us for some reason. Even mom liked his cheerful attitude, which is why he would take our pictures from time to time.

Maybe it was because of him that I slowly began to look forward to our frequent hospital visits.

Unfortunately, that day changed everything.

“Thank you, Akeno, for this wonderful present!”, said she, holding the paper crane that I had just made.

Normally, she would talk a lot more, but that day, she kept lying on her bed, quietly, patting our heads.

Then, with a heavy breath, she said,

“Sorry girls, but this might be the last chance that I’ll get to have a conversation with you.”

“Don’t say stuff like that, mom!”, big-sis broke down, crying, as she spoke.

“Crying does not suit you, Ayako! After all, aren’t you a big sister now?”

“Sniff….. Sniff….

Mom…..”

“Don’t make a face like that, Ayako! Look, even Akeno is smiling.”

I was putting on a brave face, even though I could lose control of my emotions at any moment.

“I know I’m being very selfish right now, Ayako, but you’ve got to keep it together. For your sister’s sake.”

Then, caressing both of our hairs, she said,

“Be sure to take care of each other, both of you. And no fighting! Okay?

Akeno…., look at me.

Always be a brave girl.

Finish your veggies, you hear me?

Mama will be watching over you.”

“I will, mom!

Sniff…Sniff….

It’s a promise”

“Good! Always remember, mama is proud for both of you.

I’m sure you two girls will grow up to become wonderful women, and fall in love with men who would cherish you the most.

Just like how I fell in love with your dad.”

Then, perhaps looking a bit forlorn, she said,

“I really wish I could’ve seen you one last time, my beloved.”

Meanwhile, here we were, crying our hearts out, hugging our mom. I couldn’t control my tears, and neither could mom.

“Wahhhhhhh…….Mom…..”

“Sniff…Sniff…

Don’t cry, my girls. I’ll always be there with you, in your hearts. This is Mama’s promise, so please, smile for me.

I would at least like to depart this world with the memories of my girls, smiling.”

“Sniff…. Sniff…. Hehe.”

We tried our best to smile, but we knew for a fact that we couldn’t go on pretending any longer.

“Just so you know........, mama has always........ loved both of you........ the most in the world.”

“Ah, ano…ther th…ing!”

She was already struggling to speak. But she didn’t deter. With the last ounce of strength left, she brought both mine and my sister’s palms together, and uttered the words,

“L..i…ve H…app..ily”

*BEEEEEEEEEP*

The heart monitor had stopped responding. And with that, her lifeless body remained, lying on the hospital bed.

Even in her dying moments, she kept smiling.

The entire cabin was silence, where only the sound of the heart monitor echoed.

Suddenly I heard the sound of hurried footsteps across the corridor, which brought me back to my senses.

“Himari! Himari! Where are you!”

It was dad’s voice. He must’ve come back to see mom.

But the moment he opened the door, his voice stopped.

“Hi…mari?”

“HIMARI! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

His voice echoed across the room, as he ran towards mom’s lifeless body, hugging her, crying.

It looked like he had been running amongst the rain, since he was drenched in water and sweat.

*CLICK*

The familiar sound of a polaroid camera grabbed my attention.

It was Reiji, the boy who used to play with me.

He had decided to take a picture.

Of us, at our lowest.

It took me seconds to process exactly what had taken place.

I was incredibly pissed!

With anger welling in my voice, I shouted at him,

“GIVE IT BACK TO ME!”

“A…keno?”

“GIVE IT BACK!”, said I, snatching the picture from his hands, and running away.

“Stop! Akeno!

I said stop!”

He kept running behind me, trying to catch up to me.

But I paid no heed to him. I ran and ran, as far as my legs could carry me, until I just couldn’t keep going in the rain.

*THUD*

I collapsed, losing my consciousness in the process.

When I regained my senses back, I saw myself lying on a children’s park.

Reiji was lying there, beside me. Both of us had collapsed, due to constant running. We were clearly exhausted.

It was already evening, as I saw the sun setting towards the horizon.

“What do you plan on doing with the picture?”, asked Reiji, getting back onto his feet.

“None of your business.”

“IT IS MY BUSINESS!

I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK THE PHOTO!”

“AND WHO ASKED YOU TO DO THAT?

BETTER YET, WHY DID YOU EVEN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE?”

“Because….. it must’ve felt important to you, since you are clutching the picture really hard.”

I looked at my hand, and sure enough, he was right.

“I understand, Akeno. Losing your mother was painful, but you still wanted to remember her, didn’t you?

Even if today was filled with suffering, you wanted to hold onto it as a memory.

She was precious to you.

That’s why I had to capture this moment.”

I didn’t know how to react.

This boy…., this damn boy, was spouting nonsense.

Yet, it felt as if he could see straight into my heart.

My head felt heavy,

so did my heart.

My mind went blank.

My eyelids grew moist as I looked into the picture again.

I didn’t have anything to say to him, but I could sense that his words did not harbour malice.

Sure, his actions were questionable, but his intent wasn’t.

But before I could say anything further,

He hugged me.

“Go ahead, Akeno, cry.

Don’t hold it back.

Your mother will keep watching over you,

even when you feel lonely,

even when it feels like the world is against you.

She’ll always be there, right in your heart.”

The realization that my mother had passed finally hit me, and the tears I had been holding back came flooding out all at once.

“Sniff… Sniff……

Wahhhhhhhhhhh……………….!”

I hugged him, as I cried my heart out. I knew that this was my only chance of showcasing my weakness, for, I would have to become a strong girl now, the one who shall always smile, no matter how adverse the situation gets.

After a few minutes, I had calmed myself down.

“You’re awful, Rei-chan!

You’re crude, arrogant, and always like to do things your way.”

“I’m sorry, Akeno.”

“So then, bear responsibility for peering into my heart, dumbass.”

“Akeno?”

I brought my face close to his, locked eyes with him, and said,

“Rei-chan,

Promise me that you will never leave me!

Promise me, that you’ll always stay by my side!

Promise me, that you would always support me.”

___________________________________________________________________________

Tachibana Akeno opened her eyes, to the sound of her alarm.

She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling of her room.

It was morning already. She picked up her phone, silencing the alarm in the process. On her table, was kept a folder containing her medical records.

She knew very well that her days were numbered, ever since the diagnosis. It was the same disease that had robbed her mother away from her, and it wouldn’t be long before she could finally be able to reach her.

But she didn’t have the time to contemplate that stuff, for she was determined to set things right today. She knew that she had to hurry, for today was a special day for her.

It was the day of the graduation ceremony in Fuyunagi High, as all the 3rd years would be graduating today. Coincidentally, it’s the same day when their cultural festival will take place.

Unlike other schools, Fuyunagi hosts the graduation day and the cultural festival together, so as to make it more memorable and fun for its students.

“Today is going to be an important day for her”, Akeno thought. After all, she bore the responsibility of serving as the president of Fuyunagi High’s student council. Not only that, but all the other council members were expected to be present as well, including him, Nishimura Reiji, the vice president. Unfortunately, it seemed he wouldn’t be able to make it today.

As such, it fell onto Akeno to manage the role of Reiji, and to fulfil the responsibilities in his stead.

With that said, The President, Kurosawa Emi, took her position on the podium, at the centre of the stage, and began her speech.

___________________________________________________________________________

It was already afternoon by the time I finally woke up. Somehow, I had managed to drag myself back home the previous night through the horrendous rain. Now, after the emotional turmoil that had wreaked havoc on my mind yesterday, I was down with a 103°F fever.

I knew this was my last chance to see her in person and say goodbye at the graduation ceremony. And yet, here I was, struck down by a stupid fever.

I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d make it to the cultural festival that evening. After all, I had a promise to keep with Akeno.

But I just couldn’t bring myself to get up.

Sigh…..I’m so pathetic!

I wanted to respect her decision. I wanted to forget about her. But I just could not bring myself to do it.

Was it because I was afraid? Afraid of letting her go? Or was I afraid of never being able to see her again?

I felt so powerless right now, even though I had promised myself that I would become a new man, for Akeno’s sake!

*BZZZ*

*BZZZ*

*BZZZ*

My phone kept vibrating. Maybe it was Akeno again, trying to reach out, wanting to shower me with her kindness. But I didn’t deserve any of it. It felt like I was betraying her all over again, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it.

*TING TONG*

Who is it at this hour? I don’t remember ordering anything.

I wanted to ignore it, but I just couldn’t.

*TING TONG*

*TING TONG*

*TING TONG*

“OK WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?”, I shouted, slamming the door open.

“Ah, Rei-chan! So you were at home after all! And here I was, looking for you all over the school.”

It was Akeno, holding a bag with her hands.

“As expected, you caught a cold, didn’t you?”, said she, barging into my home.

“What are you doing here, Akeno? What about the cultural festival? Aren’t you supposed to perform this evening? Shouldn’t you be inside the school right now?

But she didn’t pay any heed to my barrage of questions.

Instead, she forced me to lie down on my bed, wiped off my sweat, added some wet towel on my forehead, and then barged into my kitchen.

“What are you doing now?”, asked I, lying on my bed.

“Well, I’m trying to cook some porridge for you. It looks like you haven’t had any meals today, so porridge is my best bet.”

“Do you even know how to cook?”

“Well, my skills might not be at par with you yet, but I’ve been studying cooking under Emi-senpai every day.”

Listening to that name brought back memories from yesterday.

The same memories which I desperately wanted to forget.

“Here, sit upright. Can you eat it by yourself?”

“W-Well, I’m not a kid, you know? Of course, I ca-“

But the spoon fell from my hands, as I tried picking it up.

My hands were shaking due to the fever.

“Looks like the roles are reversed now, Rei-chan!

Don’t worry, I’ll feed you.”, said she, giggling.

My attempts to resist her didn’t work, for she could be a terrifying woman once she set her sights on something.

___________________________________________________________________________

“Thank you, Akeno, for taking your time to visit me, even when you had a performance scheduled today.”, said I, while lying on my bed.

In response, she just gave me a big smile.

A smile brighter than the sun.

It’s because of her that I felt full. The medicine that she had made me swallow, was already taking effect. Or was it just the placebo effect? I couldn’t differentiate.

“Can I ask you something, Rei-chan?”

“Sigh……Go ahead. Not that I can stop you from asking.”

“Why didn’t you come to school today? Wasn’t it mandatory for all the student council members to be present in the graduation ceremony?”

I was shocked to listen to Akeno’s question. I genuinely didn’t know how to answer this.

“Can’t you see? I’m not exactly in the best shape to attend the school now, am I? I mean, you literally took my temperature yourself just a few minutes earlier.”

“Mm! Don’t worry, I can see that!

But I still don’t understand why you decided to skip school today? “

“ARE YOU STUPID? I’M LITERALLY DOWN WITH A FEVER!”, I shouted, hyperventilating.

“You don’t have to shout, Rei-chan! I can hear you loud and clear.”

“So then why are you asking this?”

She gazed directly into my eyes, and said,

“Because the Rei-chan I know would never skip his duties, even when he was down with cold.

Because the Rei-chan I know, would never lie to his feelings, even if he was afraid to face them.”

Stop it, Akeno!

Please, just stop it!

“Because the Rei-chan I know, is much stronger than this. Strong enough to chase after her, even after everything that has happened.”

Tears started flowing down my eyes, as I listened to her words.

I didn’t know what to say to her, for I couldn’t sort out my own feelings.

___________________________________________________________________________

“You loved her dearly, didn’t you?” she murmured, gently cradling my head.

“Sniff…Sniff…..

Very much!”

“Do you want to get back to her?”

“I-I’m not sure.”

“Are you worried about me?”

“I-I-I-

Yes, of course I am! I-“

“Shhhh…..!

If you are worried about me, then don’t be.

If it’s with her, I’ll be fine with it.

After all, she is my sister.”

“But Akeno, that’s just impossible. I’m not sure if she’ll-“

“Then you just have to ask her. Here, take this!”

With that, she handed me a diary. I recognized it at a glance, for it was the same diary that Emi-senpai had been writing on, for the past few days.

“Promise me that you’ll give it a read, no matter what. Promise me that you’ll see through it to the end.”

“I…… promise…...”

“Good! I’m proud of you, Rei-chan! Now then Big-sis, take him to the airport!”

With that, I felt someone grabbing on my shoulder.

“Ayako-san, what-“

But before I could finish my sentence, she had grabbed my hand, and threw me inside her car, before pressing on the accelerator.

Meanwhile, Akeno was watching the car go away from a distance. She had been shedding tears secretly, as this might be the last time she would be able to directly look at his face.

Her legs were already feeling heavy. Her breath felt ragged. 

*THUD*

Akeno collapsed on the floor.

___________________________________________________________________________