Cut the Kids in Half

The walk had started somber.

They had made it to an abandoned concrete playground, with its main attraction being a concrete dial telephone.

But then, Riku made the mistake of checking his notifications.

Swish.

“Hey, give that back!”

Riku swiped at empty air. Kagayaki danced out of reach, clutching his smartphone to her chest. The gloom that had been hanging over her five minutes ago had vanished.

“Hehehe~ you can’t catch me, you can’t catch me!” she taunted, sticking her tongue out and backing away.

“What are you doing?!” Riku sputtered, chasing after her as she ducked under a slide. “You’re almost eighteen! Stop acting like a brat!”

“That technically means I’m still a kid. Hehehe~” She giggled, dodging his lunge with surprisingly agile footwork. “Besides, national idols are allowed to be eccentric!”

“Yeah?! I will show you eccentric!”

Riku cornered her by the swings. He lunged, not going for the phone, but for her sides.

“Eep!” Kagayaki squeaked.

“This will teach you a lesson! Tickle attack!”

“Never! No! Stop it, ahaha!” She squirmed, laughing so hard she snorted, but she held the phone high above her head. “I have to see! Who knows what you have been researching! Maybe it is totally off track needed to combat Yuuji! That requires urgent correction!!!”

“I don’t need correction! I need answers!”

“Hmm… let’s see… ‘How to learn choreography in 24 hours’... ‘Do idols actually eat?’... Riku, no no no, you’re lying—you have to be taking the piss.”

“Is it so unbelievable that these questions were inspired by you?”

He tackled her—gently—and they stumbled onto the soft sand of the playground, Riku hovering over her, both of them breathless.

Kagayaki looked up at him.

Riku stared down at her. He soon realized, with a terrifying clarity, that he would let her keep his phone forever if she kept looking at him like that.

“But what if I exchanged something else with you to get it back?” he said, the words slipping out before his filter could catch them.

Kagayaki’s eyes widened. Her grip on the phone tightened, knuckles turning white. “Uhh… hehe. I—I haven’t kissed before.”

“Bullshit,” Riku scoffed, leaning in closer, his voice turning husky. “You’re married to your job.”

“But we’re just friends.”

“Friends kiss each other in Europe.”

“But not like this!!!”

He thought he was above this. He knew this was just a situationship, and nothing more.

But did he know himself, really? When there was something compelling him, some godly entity pulling his strings, it felt as if not leaning into her—into those soft lips—would mean he died horribly in regret and sorrow.

Heaven was a woman with cute bangs and hazel-colored eyes.

He had to wonder why she wasn’t pushing him away despite the hungry looks he must be giving her.

“You gonna do anything, you tease?” she whispered. “Take advantage of me?”

“Eh?!” Riku blinked, the spell wavering.

“I know what you really think about me,” she murmured, searching his face with an intensity that made him squirm. “Poor old Riku, always on the receiving end of a plan he doesn’t get to know. But he knows his worth. He knows he's better than this brat of a girl in over her head, larping as someone she isn’t. And he knows he doesn’t have to abide to any plan.”

The raw honesty of it hit him like a bucket of ice water. It wasn't that she was wrong. It was that she saw right through his defense mechanisms.

Riku scrambled back, sitting up on his heels. “I need to go,” he said abruptly.

“Hey, you can’t do that!”

“This—whatever this is—why would you want me to ruin your mom’s plans?”

“I thought you… you didn’t care what I thought… because this whole thing is so stupid,” she said lamely.

“No! I care a lot. Where did you even get that idea?” Riku snapped. “You’ve got this whole narrative in your head. Probably from being stuck in your K-pop routine with nothing else to do. But those daydreams are lies.”

“I wish they weren’t,” she whispered.

Riku paused, the anger draining out of him. “Huh?”

“You’re right. But I thought they were believable at the time.” She picked at the hem of her skirt.

“You think that’s how normal people interact?”

“Well… I haven’t had the chance to learn how to be social.”

Riku stared at her. “Forgive me if I find that very hard to believe.”

“I was a sheltered rich kid. People wanted to befriend me for my status. People loved me, but they didn’t like me.” She looked up at him, her hazel eyes wet. “But… you… you just saw through me. And I haven't been able to find anyone else that was interested in doing that basic thing.”

“Huh,” was all Riku could manage.

“Well… now I want to get to know more about you,” she rushed on. “We can go behind my mom’s back, so long as we don’t do anything stupid like be seen in public. Well, we can, but maybe just as friends.”

“You want to get to know me more? Gee. That’s a first.” Riku rubbed the back of his neck. “Fine. I will tell you something about me as well. Reason why I freaked out back there was because you brought back bad memories. When… well… ”

Kagayaki blinked, suddenly getting the picture. “You? Bullied? Hah! Yeah, right.” She let out a dry, sharp laugh, thinking he was joking. Then she saw his face. The humor died in her throat. “Wait. Oh, jeez. I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“Had a friend in middle school. We shared everything. I don't whether it was because I lost interest in his interests, which was ogling different K-pop groups but...” Riku sighed. “He moved out of the school entirely after that. Not before making my life a living hell, though. Said I was an antisocial freak together with his new group of friends. I was questioning everything. Was it my fault? Was our relationship fake? Was he using me all the time? Was I using him? I don’t even know anymore…”

Kagayaki shifted in the sand. She didn't offer pity.

“You are someone that represented for me that simpler time,” she admitted softly. “When I was just popular with classmates. But in my head... I thought you were this guy who believed in himself and went on to accomplish great things. But then reality started to crumble when I saw you in that apartment.”

Riku snorted. “Way to backhand-compliment. That’s honestly impressive.”

“I’m being serious!” She shoved his shoulder playfully. “Maybe I just wanna be a brat. Maybe my job has forced me into something I’m not. I don’t even know if Kagayaki is truly a part of me… or just a character. I like this job a lot but… I need somewhere to put the rest of me.”

She crawled forward on her knees.

“Why don’t you just want to take what you want?” she demanded. “I know you, Riku. I read you. You shouldn’t care about what the agency thinks. You shouldn't care about the past. Because I know you can think of some way to fight them.”

Riku looked at her, baffled by her faith in him. “How could you possibly know that?”

Kagayaki smirked, tapping his chest with the corner of his own phone. “Because you have this impressive ability of always worming your way out of things. You survived me, didn't you?” she said. “You know what you remind me of? A cockroach.”

“What kind of analogy is that?!”

“Let me cook. They are hated, reviled, and most times, misunderstood. They hide under shadows, under tables, and sewer grates. But you know what they do best? Survive. And they always manage to be someone else’s problem. Be like one.” She smiled, standing up. Then, she offered him a hand. “Come, let me lift you back home.”

Riku couldn't help it. He laughed.

He watched her as she stood up and brushed the sand off her skirt, looking every bit the idol again.

“Alright, then.”