Closer

For the next two days, Shinya kept his distance. He had to sort the situation out in his head. Luckily, asking Minato to ease off for a short while had not been an issue. He couldn’t have known that. He didn’t know Minato as an actual person yet, beyond the messages they had shared, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be a problem, and it luckily wasn’t.

Well, it was a problem for Shinya, in any case. Every time he laid eyes on Minato, his heart rate shot up and his head grew hot. At night he stared at the selfies he had been gifted, at day he beheld the man in the flesh. All while knowing… what had Minato said? His intentions.

Ugh.

Shinya walked out of the building into the backyard, looking for a place to cool his head. They were filming in early autumn, which meant that it was still warm enough outside, but not the sweltering heat of summer. Shinya walked along a leaf-covered path, settling in on a bench a little ways away from the school building.

Moments later, his phone made a noise. He put his soda bottle down and looked at the message.

[Minato] [Look up.]

Shinya complied, looking up into the tree, turning slowly, until he laid eyes on a waving figure in one of the windows on the serving floor. It was Minato. The joy he felt when seeing him was palpable. Maybe… maybe it was okay to want this. If Minato wanted something too, as fantastical as that seemed.

[Shinya] [Done for today?]

[Minato] [Just a break. We’re shooting the costume fit scene tonight, did you forget?]

[Shinya] [Probably just pushed it out of my mind.]

[Minato] [Come on, you’ve already seen me half-naked.]

Shinya shook his fist at the building and could hear Minato’s laugh across the distance.

[Minato] [I hope you’ll be there to watch.]

He waved again and disappeared into the shadow of the room.

“That man is going to be the death of me,” Shinya mumbled. “But what a way to go.”

——

At least Shinya thought so until he was actually close to dying. He sat at the back of the room as the team prepared the props for the scene. The setting was as such: The maid costume Kazu wore was actually store-bought. He had gotten a large dress to fit his frame, but it was still made for a woman. After some convincing, he agreed to let Hina alter it to fit him better. This was the evening he was going to try it for the first time, leading to several revelations about himself, Hina and the world at large.

It was one of the most important scenes in the first half of the book. Kazu learned that he could place his trust in Hina—trust her even with the feelings he usually kept hidden. They started their actual relationship soon after.

Shinya had been looking forward to seeing this scene come to life the most. He had cried alongside Kazu, as he wrote down his inner thoughts and feelings upon wearing the dress that wasn’t made for him, but fit so well after it went through Hina’s hands.

At that moment, though, he was close to crying for a completely different reason. Between the props stood Minato, still in his student uniform, but Shinya knew how the scene was going to unfold. He would get naked except for his underwear, then slip on knee-high socks and…

Ahh!!

When writing the scene, Shinya had imagined what it would be like for Minato to perform these actions. Confronted with the real thing, he was faltering. Just then, Minato looked into his corner and locked eyes with him.

The message was clear: Watch me.

There was no need to tell him. Even if nervous, Shinya wouldn’t have left the room if it was on fire. He sat on a table that was backed against the wall, feeling the cool surface behind him. It did little to calm him.

“Alright everyone, go to position!”

The assistants cleared out and Saya took a seat at one of the tables, her materials spread out in front of her. Minato walked out of the door. The room fell quiet. Despite his anxiousness, Shinya actually loved this situation. The concentrated atmosphere as everyone worked together to make the best drama possible was electric.

“Action.”

Saya got to work on a piece of clothing, examining some details. A moment later, the door to the room opened.

“Ah, Kazu!” she said happily. “Come, come.”

“I told you not to call me so casually,” Minato said and walked closer, body rigid.

“You’re about to take off your clothes in front of me, so I think casual is warranted.”

Minato froze, his eyes widening. The director gave a signal to hold the camera on his face for longer and then yelled “Cut.”

Saya gave Minato a thumbs up. She got up from her seat to get into position. The camera started rolling again. The sound of Saya’s footsteps was loud as she walked towards Minato. Several lenses were trained on them to catch the action. Minato took a step back and bumped against a table, involuntarily sitting down. Saya crowded into his space, now taller than him. She put her fingers under his chin and lifted it up.

“Are you going to let me do your makeup too?”

Minato’s mouth opened and closed several times like a fish. Shinya didn’t know how he did it, but his face actually turned red. The blush coloured his cheeks pink. Adorable. Shinya was acutely aware of his body movements, fighting the urge to squee at Minato’s expression, because he knew they recorded the sound too.

He watched Minato deflate, his initial outrage making way for embarrassed acceptance. His whole body language changed, and he seemed to melt a little, leaning more into Saya’s hands.

“If you want to…” he said quietly, not meeting Saya’s eyes.

“Cute,” she said and stepped away to fetch the clothes.

Minato put both hands over his face and groaned.

“Cut! That was great!”

Minato rubbed his face, then looked past the crew at Shinya, who had the most stupid grin on his face at seeing his characters come to life.

——

He hadn’t expected anything, but when he laid eyes on Shinya’s joyful expression, Minato’s heart skipped a beat. For a moment, he forgot his surroundings and just stared, wide-eyed, all thoughts blown out of his head.

Saya’s hand on his arm brought him back to reality.

“That was good,” she said.

“Uh. Thanks,” Minato stammered.

“Get the cameras for the closeups of the costume change,” the director said loudly.

Minato cleared his throat. Costume change. Right. The whole scene of him changing into the tailored maid dress for the first time. He had wanted to use the opportunity to tease Shinya.

But then why was he feeling shy all of a sudden?

——

Shinya was incredibly glad for everyone’s

focus, so they couldn’t see him break down at the back of the room as more and more of Minato’s skin was revealed. Sure, this scene was meant to show off Minato’s body—he had written it as blatant fanservice for himself—but to see it in real life, unedited?

Just end him now.

Finally, Minato stood there, in just his underpants. They were black and… close-fitting. Shinya didn’t know why he was so surprised by that. He literally wrote the scene!! The air in the room was a little cooler on purpose to capture the goosebumps on Minato’s skin. As the cameraman walked around him for closeups, Shinya wished he could be that close.

Ah. Fuck. Shinya pressed his legs together.

He was hard. Just from watching.

Fuck.

And it didn’t get any better. The camera moved up with Minato’s hands as he slowly slid on the black stockings. But Shinya… Shinya watched his face. Minato stared, concentrated to hold the pace, to perform diligently, no later the situation. Then, the camera finally pointed at his face. His expression changed from the concentration of the actor to the hot embarrassment of the character. He was beautiful.

Shinya stared and stared and stared until the shoot was done. And then he wordlessly exited the room.

——

The roof of the building was deserted. Shinya walked over to the railing to look out over the schoolyard. Several people were standing next to the production vans below, enjoying the quick break before wrapping up for the day. The night air wasn’t too cold that day, a slight breeze carrying the scent of dinner from somewhere outside the school grounds. Shinya closed his eyes and released a sigh.

It was starting to sink in. This was it. His story, acted out. Everything was… real. He was here. Really here. And… Arai Minato was here too.

Every facet of him was stunning. Out of costume he was soft and joyful. In his uniform, he played the role of the stoic class rep to perfection. Shinya had basically melted on the inside when he saw Minato wear it for the first time. And then the cosplay… a wave of confusing emotions ran through Shinya’s body remembering the image of Minato dressing up, smiling shyly into the camera on his first reveal. He had portrayed the mixture of embarrassment and pride so perfectly…

“Ugh!” Shinya sank to his knees. “He’s too perfect for this world!!”

“Who?”

Shinya jolted so suddenly, he hit his head against the metal railing with a loud clang. Pain bloomed just as two arms wrapped around him to hold him upright. He blinked, momentarily confused, Minato’s face coming slowly into view.

“Careful, careful… Sit down.”

He let himself be manoeuvred as Minato directed, which ended with them sitting next to each other, so close their bodies were touching.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to surprise you… I mean, I wanted to, but not like that. Where did you hit your head?”

And all of a sudden, Minato’s face was directly in front of Shinya’s, as he examined his hairline. Shinya flinched.

“Did I hurt you? Oh. Is that blood… We should—”

Shinya reached out reflexively, clutching Minato’s shirt as he made to stand up, pulling him close again. Minato made a surprised noise as he was drawn forward into Shinya’s body. Shinya’s hand was shaking when he realised what he’d just done.

Fuck. Fuck. I didn’t want to… I mean I wanted to… But… Fuck… I…

“I’m sorry,” he whispered weakly and made to push Minato away from him, but found himself embraced instead.

His heart jumped out of his chest as his fingers tightened in Minato’s shirt. Minato held him close like he didn’t want to let go either.

“Did you like what you saw earlier?”

“Minato!”

“I need to know.”

Shinya leaned his forehead against Minato’s shoulder. “More than like. I loved it. You were so good. I knew you would be. But to actually see it? Uh…”

“Then is it true?” Minato asked.

His mouth was right next to Shinya’s ear, the hot breath tickling his skin. Shinya couldn’t help it. He had imagined this so many times that desperate arousal flooded his body in an instant.

“What?” he managed.

“I read all of your interviews. In one shortly before the book was released you said you wrote the role of Kazu just for me.”

“Uh…”

“And that you refused to give the rights to the drama to anyone who didn’t cast me in the leading role, even if that meant the drama might not happen at all.”

Tears formed in Shinya’s eyes. It was true. It was all true. He sobbed, embarrassed, but Minato just held him closer.

“So it’s true?”

Shinya nodded against Minato’s shoulder, face hidden.

“Thank you,” Minato said, softly, and to Shinya’s treacherous heart, it sounded so much like a love confession, he made a distressed noise out of impossible longing. How was it that he was still yearning if he was already right in Arai Minato’s arms?

And then he felt it. Minato’s lips on his cheek, bestowing a soft kiss.

“You’re too cute,” Minato whispered like a secret. “Do you like me that much?”

Shinya went rigid, which Minato realised immediately and let him go with a chuckle.

“Alright, alright. I won’t pester you any longer. But you’ll let me treat that head of yours, alright?”

Minato stood up, and his absence made the air grow cold. Shinya looked up at him with what could only be described as puppy eyes and Minato’s heart made a complicated, unexpected and possibly unwanted jump. He cleared his throat and held out a hand.

“Come on, it’s too dark here to have a look at your head.”

——

Shinya sat next to Minato in the car that took them to their hotel. Even though the shooting location was close to Tokyo, where they both lived, the cast and crew were staying nearby for the duration. This was the first time he traveled back with Minato. On the other days he’d caught a ride with some of the production staff, since he liked to stay around and learn what everyone did. Luckily most of them were more amused than annoyed by him and gladly shared their workday with him.

“How’s your head?”

Shinya was shaken out of his thoughts. They had visited the set emergency doctor, who was quite cross about the whole thing. He had berated Shinya to take more care and sent him home with a patch on his head and a couple of painkillers as a precaution.

“Better. It was more the shock than actual damage, I think.”

Minato put his hand on Shinya’s.

“So, who is ‘too perfect for this world’?”

Shinya instinctively drew his hand away, but Minato held it.

“Is it me?”

“Don’t ask if you already know the answer,” Shinya pouted.

“Maybe I want to hear it from you.”

Shinya looked at the driver, who didn’t give any indication of listening to them. Poor man.

“Alright. You are too perfect for this world. Arai Minato. I’ve always believed that, and I will continue to believe it… so you don’t need to ask me again. Just think it's implied.”

Minato laughed, and it sounded so nice—even nicer when he kissed Shinya’s knuckles in between little bursts of it.

“Do I still need to keep my distance? I will. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Shinya shook his head. “I’m… I’m coming to terms with it. I’m open to… respond to your… advances.”

“Good.”

Minato leaned over and lightly kissed the top of Shinya's head. Shinya’s brain went offline.

“I’ll be careful with you,” Minato whispered and kissed his hair again. “You’re more delicate than I expected.”

“Am not.”

“Yes, yes.”

Shinya bit his lip. He had to ask. Again.

“Do you really like me?”

Minato leaned his head against Shinya’s. “I liked the person I saw on screen. I’m starting to love the man in front of me.”

Shinya’s heart hurt over how much this sounded like his own experience. Maybe… maybe he could trust this. Why couldn’t someone else experience the same love as him? Yes, it was improbable. But his novel getting published, leading to this very situation was even more improbable. So why not? And even if it didn’t work out… he’d rather have more moments like this with his oshi. The joy of touching Minato like this would fuel him for weeks. Months. Years.

“Me too,” he said. “I like you a lot.”

Minato hummed contently next to him.