Drowning

“The people in the comments are asking who Ueno-sensei is!”

Kazuya held up his phone to the latest post of the production crew to him. It was the photo they had taken two days before—Minato, Saya and Shinya all laughing around the lunch table.

Shinya had seen it, of course. He saw every single one of Minato’s social media posts. He’d scrolled through the set of pictures, secretly happy that he’d sat across them when they were taken, and that no one knew this fact. Well, until the last picture, where he’d suddenly stared into his own face. Sure, he had signed the release form for his face to appear online since he was present on set and it sometimes couldn’t be avoided, but this… He hadn’t talked about it to anyone, embarrassed to be such a normie next to the two beautiful actors.

“Where?” Minato asked.

They were sitting in the break room, all three of them. After the initial… well, almost confrontation, Kazuya and Minato had found a neutral equilibrium around each other. They were professionals with the same goal of making the drama work.

“The one on Insta.”

Minato scrolled on his own phone. He rarely looked at posts about himself, and even less at the comments. But this time…

“Huh. Listen to this,” Saya said. “Who’s that in the last picture? Who’s that cutie? Is he a cast member? Why wasn’t he in the other pictures? Is he part of the crew? Lots of heart emojis too…”

“You’re popular, sensei!” Kazuya said and ruffled Shinya’s hair.

“Oi,” Minato interjected. “You want to keep your hands?”

“Sensei doesn’t belong just to you.”

“Try me.”

“Boys…” Saya said and her tone left no room for argument.

The other too sunk back into their chairs. Within only a few days, a natural hierarchy had been established. Shinya hid his smile behind his hand. But he was more concerned about the post… Bringing up the pictures himself, he was surprised to see so many fans interested in him of all people.

“They have good taste,” Minato remarked.

“I don’t know about that…” Shinya replied.

“Nonesense. Ueno-sensei is very handsome,” Kazuya said.

Minato leaned forward and removed Kazuya’s hand from Shinya’s knee. Before they could clash, the set photographer entered the room and they broke apart. The director Fujibashi entered after him.

“Ueno-san?”

“Yes, Fujibashi-san?” Shinya said and stood up.

“I suppose you’ve seen the reaction to your picture? Would you be comfortable with some

portrait photos for our account? The buzz is definitely helping the drama to get more eyes on it.”

More eyes on the drama meant more eyes on Minato. No matter how uncomfortable Shinya was in front of the camera, this was a chance he couldn’t let go. So he nodded.

“Oh, thank you so much. I know you’re not here for that, but it will help immensely. Come on, we can do them over by the window.”

Shinya looked at the others, who gave him encouraging smiles. He stood awkwardly where directed, and after fussing over his hair for a moment, the director gave a thumbs up.

“Don’t look directly into the lens. Look at me,” Fujibashi said. “Yes, great.”

Soon, the photographer was done, when Minato approached. “Can you take one of us together?”

“Sure.”

Minato stood behind Shinya and put his arms over Shinya’s shoulders. Heads pressed together, they looked like the main couple of the series. Shinya forced himself to smile, but the photographer pressed the shutter exactly when his head was turned towards Minato. The preview thumbnail looked like he was stupidly in love.

“You can’t publish that,” Shinya said immediately.

“I know. But you can have it if you like,” the photographer said.

“Yes! Me too!” Minato chimed in.

He was still hugging Shinya from behind, watching the preview pictures over his shoulder. Shinya felt the warmth of Minato’s body, the firm chest against his back. Dangerous.

“So just to be clear again, are the portrait photos okay to post?” Fujibashi asked.

Shinya nodded and she left the room together with the photographer. Minato, still clinging to Shinya, fished his phone from his pocket and held it up, camera open. He pressed their cheeks together and took a selfie.

“New background…” he sang.

“No!” Shinya complained reflexively.

Kazuya leaned over to Saya as the two were fighting over the phone.

“I’m not imagining this, am I?” he asked.

“I think not.”

“Mhm.”

Shinya was breathless as Minato held him and he admitted defeat. Defeat all around. He had committed to accepting his advances. As if Minato had to put in any effort at all. He was the whole reason Shinya was even there. And he looked at Minato’s smile and he knew he was in love. He was gone. This was…

Saya cleared her throat.

“I forgot to pick something up,” Shinya stammered and ran from the room, head glowing red.

“Saya…” Minato crossed his arms.

“Feel free to do what you want with him, but not here. Have some common sense.”

“Fine…”

Kazuya looked deep in thought.

——

The selfie of them together made it onto Shinya’s lockscreen. It wasn’t like he had any choice. There it was, a photo of them together, looking like lovers. Of course he had to put it where he could see it all the time.

Shinya was waiting in front of the former classroom turned dressing room, nodding his Otsukaresamas to the people passing him from time to time. Finally, the door opened and Minato stepped out.

Out of the student uniform, hair no longer neatly combed, he looked older than the character. Shinya liked him more this way. There was one photoshoot he regarded as godly, with a botanical theme, where his hair had been mussed beyond recognition, flowers woven into it. One wall of his bedroom was covered in various posters of that shoot, lifesize or even bigger. It struck him that Minato might one day see this shrine to him and he felt immediately embarrassed—though not enough to consider removing it. Minato knew he was a fan, but he didn’t know the depths of it just yet…

“Did you wait for me?”

“Yeah, I… I thought we could go back to the hotel together. Have dinner.”

“You read my mind.”

Minato leaned in and kissed Shinya’s cheek. In a moment of daring, Shinya did the same to Minato. The other sucked in a surprised breath.

“Oh, sorry,” Shinya mumbled.

“Don’t apologise. I just didn’t expect it.”

“I’m not as extroverted as you.”

Minato brushed his fingers over Shinya’s cheek. “That’s one of the things I like about you. Shy and cute.”

“Minato…”

“Come on, the car is probably already waiting.”

They held hands until they reached the exit, since the possibility of cameras spying on them from outside the campus was very high. They said their goodbyes to the security detail on duty and walked over to the parking lot. There were still people waiting after all.

“Did Director Fujibashi already post my photos?”

“Ueno-sensei!!” a loud voice yelled across the hedge that separated the parking lot from the street.

“That answers it,” Minato said.

“What do I do?”

“Just walk like normal and smile in their direction before you enter the car. Nothing more.”

“I wish I could hold your hand.”

Minato looked at him, and for one moment, emotions broke through his public facade, which made Shinya believe he meant everything he said.

“Just walk behind me. I’ll be alright.”

The parking lot was close to the street, so Shinya had a good view of the onlookers. There were mostly private visitors with their phones, but a few professional cameras could be seen too.

“Sensei!!”

“Ueno-sensei!”

Shinya was stunned for a moment, looking at the crowd. The people who had shouted for Minato and Kazuya before were now calling for him. It felt strange. A touch on his hand from inside the car took him out of his stupor and he joined Minato.

“It’s weird at first. Don’t let it get to your head, is all I can say.”

“Mhm.”

Shinya watched the crowd through the tinted windows as they drove by. It was… certainly a new feeling. Not bad, just… still slightly uncomfortable. As they turned into the street, Minato took Shinya’s hand. Shinya looked over, welcomed by a soft smile.

Ah. Minato looked divine, like a vision. Wait he didn’t have to keep this to himself anymore. Shinya mustered all his courage.

“You’re… breathtakingly handsome,” he said. “I could look at you all day.”

——

Minato’s fingers tightened around Shinya’s hand in obvious surprise. This was… He knew Shinya had been his fan for a long time, but hearing these words out loud was strange. Not because he didn’t usually hear them. He had many fans and admirers who yelled compliments at him wherever he went. But from Shinya’s lips, these words somehow felt genuine. They hit him unexpectedly. Minato cleared his throat.

“So, tell me about the inspiration for ‘Pink Secret’,” he deflected to change the topic in a completely subtle way, his ears definitely not turning the shade of a ripe tomato.

Shinya was merciful and took his win silently.

“I wanted to write a story about self-acceptance and the importance of respectful, supportive relationships.”

“So about how Hina supports Kazu in his self-expression?”

“That’s the main couple’s journey, yeah. But it’s not just about them. Hina’s friend Shinji doesn’t sabotage their relationship by actively moving against Kazu—be it by ratting him out or something similar. He’s being a good friend. And Hina’s parents, who drive the two to events because Kazu isn’t ready to tell his parents yet. It shows the value of a support network, I hope.”

“You’re animated when talking about this. It’s a good look on you.”

Shinya pouted. “The story is very important to me. Of course I’m animated. I… I wrote it to show how acceptance can look and what kind of positive influence it has. If just one friend or parent can change their view… I’m already happy.”

Minato was looking at the back of Shinya’s head, who had turned away while talking. He could hear him take a shaky breath.

“Shinya?”

“We’re almost at the hotel. Come on, I’ll tell you if you come to my room.”

Minato agreed readily. The lobby was monitored to not admit the fans who were sometimes waiting for them, so they had a clear path to the lift. And then they were in Shinya’s room. It was quite messy, but Minato didn’t care. He followed Shinya to the couch and sat down next to him, knees touching, holding both his hands.

“I’ve known that I’m gay for… as long as I can remember. In my youthful confidence, I told my parents during high school. They asked me to

change, but you know that’s not possible. As soon as I was 18, I had to move out. Since then, they only contact me when absolutely necessary. My younger brother is still with them, but I’m not allowed to see him. After high school, I lost contact with the people in my class. Since then I’ve been living alone, doing admin work at an office to pay rent. I’m not telling you this so you can pity me. I wrote this novel as a wish. A wish for myself and everyone in a similar situation, to find the acceptance and support they need.”

Shinya was looking at their joined hands as he spoke, tears running down his face.

“You were my light during these times. I needed something to cling to, and the joy I felt watching you on screen was what kept me warm when I was alone. I’m sure many of your fans feel the same way, and I don’t think I’m special—”

Minato embraced Shinya with his whole body, holding him so close, he imagined hearing his ribs crack. Shinya broke out crying as soon as he was held, sobbing into Minato’s shoulder. He shook and whined, all while Minato kept him as close as he could. Finally, Shinya’s body stopped shaking and his sobs quieted down into sad sniffs.

“You did so much for me, I wanted to do something for you too. You don’t know how happy I am to have created this story, which gives you the opportunity to play the main character.”

Minato drew back and looked into Shinya’s eyes, which were red from crying, but still so beautiful.

“Shinya… just how deeply do you love me?”

“So deeply I’m drowning in it.”

It was Minato’s time to shiver. He felt the dagger of his own betrayal in his back. But… what did it matter if this had begun as a ruse? He was here now, and Shinya was such a good person, such a lovely man… and Minato felt himself genuinely falling for him. What did the beginning matter if the result was so much love?

“Let me drown with you,” Minato said and brought their lips together.